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to see his worried face hovering over me. I smiled faintly.

" yeah, just tired. think i stayed up too late last night." he smiled, but it didn't meet his eyes.

" you sure?" i sat up till we were almost eye level. i studied him intently, a sudden thought coming to me.

" Did we watch a movie labeled ' John- John- jimmy' last night?" he frowned, and then shook his head.

" no, we didn't watch it, why?" i smiled slightly.

" because they're the ones who taught me how to cope in a different way. And they were the most fun I’ve ever had at a foster home. No offense." He shook his head.

" well, then lets watch it." i thought a moment, then smiled.

" ok, but i should tell you something about them, just so you don't freak later." he frowned, pulling me up off the bed. we were on the steps when i started the story.

" John, and his friend, John, owned a boat, and Called L.A there home. John 1, as we liked to call him, had officially adopted his little brother, Jimmy, a week before i showed up, so they went out on the boat with me and them. John 2, his friend, liked to video tape things, but only gave me one or two of them." he nodded, going through the box on the ground in front of the T.v finally he looked up.

" ok, so what’s the kicker? were they like, mass murderers or what?" i grinned as he slid the tape on. I waited for him to press play before saying

" no, but they were all gay." he froze, and I saw his eyes widen in the T.V reflection. then i showed up on the screen, sunbathing on the deck of there boat, John 1 next to me.

" John's checking you out, Z. I’m jealous." he said non-chalantly, and you heard a big, brawny laugh.

" you shouldn't be." came a deep, booming voice.

" Yeah, I don't date barbarians." there was a snorting sound, and the camera swiveled to face Jimmy, who was standing next to John 2.

" hold this, would ya son? that girl needs to learn some manners.” the booming voice said. the camera was handed off, and then it swiveled to show a huge, brute of a man headed toward me. in one swift motion he had me thrown over his shoulder, and I screeched.

" JOHN! put me DOWN!" i screamed, beating uselessly at his back.

I glanced at chess as i continued screaming on screen, and he had a bemused expression on his face, eyes glued to the screen. John1’s voice made me look back up.

" John, hon. put her down. she's going to get sea sick." he still hadn't opened his eyes. John 2 shrugged, me still over his shoulder, than preceded to throw me over the side. as i came up sputtering, the camera shook with jimmy's laughter. john 2 turned, and proceeded to throw john 1 over as well. jimmy backed up as he headed for him. before john 2 could do anything, my legs were around his waist, my arms around his shoulders.

" ok, brawns, got brains? if so, I'd apologize to john. you got his designer glasses wet." john sucked in a sharp breath.

" the ones I picked out?" i nodded, and he threw me off his back ,and hauled john back over the ledge with one hand. as he did, Jimmy turned to me.

" you ok?" he moved and then he was sitting next to me, the camera still trained on me.

" yeah, just cold. hand me a towel, will you?" he reached around him, and as we heard John 1 and 2 complaining, i dried off.

" how'd you get back on the boat so fast?" i grinned.

" boy, have you ever seen me use the ladder to get in and out of this boat? you people are used to having footholds handed out, I find them, and heave." he laughed once.

" well, were going inland in two weeks. we'll have to figure out who has better land legs, wont we?" i scowled.

" If i don't drown myself first." I said flatly. Jimmy laughed once.

" you wouldn't drown yourself. you may talk about it, but really, you love life too much." I thought.

" You’re right. maybe. " he grinned, rolling his eyes.

" Just remember, ever get depressed, bang the hell outta a pair of drums." it was my turn to roll my eyes.

" Whatever, asshole."

" hey, watch it!" came both of the johns immediate response. Then the screen went blank.

" so, you guys watched some of your home videos?" Richie asked. we were at the cafe, after a mutual decision to meet there after supper. chess nodded, looking at me over the steam coming from his Coca, and my coffee. it had literally just got dark, and we were sitting outside, jumping up and down, trying to stay warm, like the dumbasses we were.

" yeah, and there was some pretty damn funny ones. Face plant." he started laughing again, and i rolled my eyes, glad i had the hot coffee in my hands so i didn't hit him. When he stopped laughing, he explained in quite good detail my face plant.

" I’ll be back in a second." I said suddenly, realizing I recognized a car in the bar parking lot across the street. i ignored there protests, and crossed to the truck. i glanced at the rearview mirror, and saw all i needed to- Leon’s tassel, the one that never leaves his truck. I glanced around, till my eyes fell on a hunk of a boy sitting on the hood of another truck, laughing his booming laugh that i missed slightly. someone spotted me by the truck, and pointed to me. his head swung around, and his jaw hit the floor. he jumped up, and got to me faster than I realized as he squished me in a huge hug.

" Girly z! Where have you been? God, I've missed you." he said, setting me back down. I smiled slightly, realizing again how much he looked like his older brother.

" Hey Leon. How are you?" he shrugged, waving a hand over his shoulder.

" ok. Visiting some friends. How about you?" i waved a hand over to the cafe, were my group was waiting for me, watching us with wide eyes.

" Foster family. Here, I have to go, but do you have a pen?" he opened the door and emerged with one, and a piece of paper. I scribbled my number on it.

" Call this sometime, and we can catch up, ok?" he nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

" It was great seeing you again, Z. bye." he hugged me one last time, and then I ran back to my friends.

" Old foster brother." i said before questions started. Chess gave me a hard look, and i knew I’d be getting it later, if i let him.

chapter fourteen


" bye, Richie, Greg!" I called, as Chess said a goodbye behind me. as soon as there tail lights disappeared, i spun around and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

" i thought they'd never leave." i murmured, then kissed him.

This was the only thing i could think of, to stop the questions. he would enjoy it, and so would I. it was a win win situation.

" Well, you’re, ah, enthused." he said, pulling back for a breath. he glanced at the living room, then wrapped my legs around his waist.

" hold on." he whispered mischievously, then carried me up the stairs like that. I laughed.

" well, that’s one benefit of having a very beefed up boyfriend. Another is this." he was at the top of the stairs, so I unhooked one of my arms, and reached down, slid my hand under his shirt, then down his abdomen, watching and feeling him shiver. his eyes met mine.

" Is that what i am?" he asked, a husky tone to his voice. I bit my lip, then reached foreword and kissed him softly, pulling back before either of us deepened it.

" Absolutely." he swung me around once, then let me unhook my legs from his waist. he pulled me foreword, and we slipped into my bedroom, leaving the lights off so that we could stumble around in the dark.

when I woke up, my head was on Chess's chest, his arm draped around my back. my sheet was pulled up to my chin, but my quilt was discarded on the floor. i studied Chess for a moment, then realized what was so off.

he looked his age.

he looked like a teenage boy who had a fun night, and was too tired to care about anything. usually he looked way older than he was, eyes set a certain way, and lines creasing some part of his face.

" it's not nice to stare." he said, eyes still closed, making me jump. now that i knew he was awake, i sat up and leaned over him. my hair brushed his cheek, and he opened his eyes.

" Are we going to see Jonathan today?" he sighed, then nodded.

" Yeah, we are. he asked me yesterday to after richie and them left, but... you were enthused." I rolled my eyes, rolling away from him. i sat up, and he pulled me back to his chest.

" where are you going?" he asked. I frowned.

" shower." he grinned.

" can i join you?" i rolled my eyes again.

" sure."

after our shower, we skipped school and went to the hospital. Jonathans eyes just aobut popped out of his head when he saw me. he asked Chess to get him something from a vending machine, and got rid of him.

" i thought you were leaving." he said flatly. i sighed.

" I still am. but i've been.... distracted the last few nights." he got a smug look.

" i could still tell him, you know. he wouldn't let you out of his sight ever again." he met my gaze steadily, and i sighed.

" i know." I said softly. his eyes widened.

" what's the matter?" i put my head in my hands.

" i'm going to hurt him, Jonathan. i can feel it. but i can't stay away from him. and last night... i.... Leon's in town. he wants to meet up sometime, and meeting up with him involves a roll in the hay more often than not. i don't know...

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