Many Dimensions, Charles Williams [black authors fiction TXT] 📗
- Author: Charles Williams
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fixed on the diagram at which she was gazing, and the unfortunate Mr.
Pondon, and Lord Arglay’s almost unintelligibly fixed passion for
restoring him, and such difficult and remote things, it
seemed to her as if an inner voice very like Arglay’s said firmly: “My
dear child, don’t blether. You know perfectly well you don’t care about
this at all. Do let us be accurate. Now.”
She made, or so she thought, a general vague protest that
she was anxious to do what he wanted, but Arglay, or the Stone, or
whatever it was that was dominating her, swept this aside; she forgot
it in the sudden rush of her consciousness to its next point of rest.
And this point seemed to be the memory of Mr. Frank Lindsay. She found
herself remembering with a double poignancy at once how satisfactory
and how unsatisfactory he was. The poor dear did and was everything he
could be; he held her hand pleasantly, he kissed well, he displayed
becoming zeal, and if his talk was a little dull… yes, but his talk
was not dull but alien. Talk, they all—and two or three other young men
arose in Chloe’s mind—they all failed to be memorable in talk. There
came to her almost a cloud of phrases and sentences in different
voices—preceding, accompanying, following, incidents that had certainly
not been talk. They had been extremely delightful—incidents and
companions alike—she was an ungrateful creature. But her palm rested on
something that was warmer and closer and steadier than any kiss on that
palm had been, and the ends of her fingers touched a hand that was warm
and intimate and serene. And again the voice that was Arglay’s or the
Stone’s said within her: “Go on, child.” In a sudden reaction it seemed
to her that she hated that intimate but austere government. She hung
suspended between it and Frank Lindsay. Times upon times seemed to pass
as she waited, without the power of choice between this and that,
hating to lose and fearing to gain either because of the loss of the
other that such gain must bring. She must, she thought vaguely, be
getting very old, too old to be loved or desired, too old to desire.
Her memories were spectral now; her companions and peers very faint and
circling round her in an unnoticing procession. And besides them what
else had there been in her life? There came to her a phrase -he Survey
of Organic Law.-Organic Law had never meant very much to her, and this
increasing loneliness and age was law, organic law. But again there
pierced through that loneliness the double strength upon which her hand
rested. The words grew sacramental; they had not existed by themselves
but as the communication—little enough understood—of a stored and
illuminated mind. Who was it, long before, had used those words? And
suddenly at a great distance she saw the figure of Lord Arglay as he
stood in Sir Giles’s room holding the Stone -the justice of England,
direct in the line of the makers and expositors of law. Other names
arose, Suleiman and Charleniagne and Augustus, the Khalifs and Caesars
of the world, of a world in which a kiss was for a moment but their
work for a longer time, and though they grew old their work was final,
each in its degree, and endured. Between those figures and her young
lovers, now, in her increasing age, she could not stop to choose;
immediately and infinitesimally her mind shifted and she forgot her
throbbing past. It avenged itself at once; the names grew cold and the
figures vague as she dwelled in them. She seemed to meet the eyes of
the ghostly Arglay, and he smiled and shook his head. No longer strong
but very faint the same voice said to her: “Go on, child.” But where
and how was she to go? A cold darkness was about her and within her,
and at the end of that darkness the high vision of instruction and fair
companionship was fading also in the night. Despairingly she called to
it; despairingly with all her soul she answered: “I will go on, I will,
but tell me how.” The phantom did not linger gently to mock or comfort
her; it was gone, and around her was an absolute desolation which she
supposed must be death. All the pain of heart-ache she had ever known,
all negligences, desertions, and betrayals, were gathered here, and
were shutting themselves up with her alone. Beyond any memory of a hurt
and lonely youth, beyond any imagination of an unwanted and miserable
age, this pain fed on itself and abolished time. She lay stupefied in
anguish.
From somewhere a voice spoke to her, an outer voice, increasing in
clearness; she heard it through the night. “Child,” Lord Arglay was
saying with a restrained anxiety, and then, still carefully, “Chloe!
Chloe, child!” She made a small effort
towards him, and suddenly the pain passed from her and the outer world
began to appear. But in the less than second in which that change took
place she saw, away beyond her, glowing between the darkness and the
returning day, the mild radiance of the Stone. Away where the
apparition of Lord Arglay had seemed to be, it shone, white
interspersed with gold, dilating and lucid from within. Only in the
general alteration of her knowledge she was aware of that perfection,
and catching up her breath at the vision she loosed it again in the
study and found the Chief Justice watching her.
Lord Arglay’s own experience had been much more definable. He shaped in
his mind the image of the room in which he had seen the three men,
formulated as clearly as he could his desire to offer Pondon a way of
return, and made an effort towards submitting the whole thing to
whatever Power reposed in the Stone. He took all possible care to avoid
any desire towards an active imposition of his will, since it appeared
to him that such a desire involved not only danger to himself, but
probable failure in his attempt. Less moved, in spite of his
protestations, by the mere romanticism of the thing than Chloe,
unaffected by titles and traditions and half-ceremonial fables, he yet
arrived at something of the same attitude by a process of rationalism.
He did not know how far the Stone was capable of action—perhaps not at
all; but until he did know a great deal more about its potentialities
than he did at the moment, he refused to do more than make an attempt
to provide Pondon with a way of return. How far, and in what manner,
such a return would present itself to the consciousness of Sir Giles’s
victim, he could not tell; the endeavour was bound to be experimental
only. But he did not primarily wish to move himself to the building at
Birmingham; he wanted to bring that complex of minds and place and time
again into the presence of the Stone. He resolved his thoughts into
lucidity and sat waiting.
For what seemed a long while nothing happened. Concentrated on his
thought he remained unconscious of the look of strain that gradually
occupied Chloe’s face; at first he was vaguely conscious of her, then
he lost her altogether, For though there was at first no change either
in his surroundings or in his thought yet change there was. Something
was pressing against his eyes from within; he felt unnaturally
detached, floating, as it were, in his chair. A slight nausea attacked
him and passed; his brain was swimming in a sudden faintness. The room
about him was the same and yet not the same. The table at his right
hand seemed to be multiplied; a number of identical tables appeared
beyond it in a long line stretching out to a vague infinity, and all
around him the furniture multiplied itself so. Walls that were and yet
were not transparent sometimes obscured it and sometimes dissolved and
vanished. He saw himself in different positions, now here, now there,
and seemed to recognize them. Whenever his mind paused on any one of
these eidola of himself it seemed to be fixed, and all the rest to
fade, and then his mind would relax and again the phantastmagoria would
close in, shifting, vanishing, reappearing. He became astonishingly
aware of himself sitting there, much more acutely so than in any normal
action; a hand was still on his, but it was not Chloe’s or was it
Chloe’s? No, it was another s hand, masculine, more aged; it was…
it was the Hajji’s. Lord Arglay began to think: “But this is Friday
then,”-with an effort abolished the thought, and went on keeping the
problem in his mind clear. The myriad images of himself that
vacillated about him were vastly disconcerting—and there
were other people too, his servant, the Hajji, Chloe. He was
doing or saying something with each of them. It was like a
dream, yet it was not like a dream for distinct memory hovered
round him and he found that only by a strong inhibition could
he prevent himself submitting to it and being conscious only of some
precise moment. The apprehensions began to deepen downwards and
outwards but not by the mere inclusion of neighbouring space. An
entirely new plane of things thrust itself in and across various of the
appearances; in an acute angle almost like a wedge a different room
thrust itself down over a picture of himself talking to the Hajji, but
within this wedge itself were infinite appearances, swelling like a
huge balloon with a painted cover and loosing fresh balloons and new
thrusting wedges in all directions. In one group of superimposed layers
he was aware of Giles doing a thousand things, and then suddenly, as if
in a streak of white light driving right across the whole mirage he was
aware of Giles watching. In a new resolution he turned from Giles to
Pondon, but he couldn’t see Pondon, or not at all clearly; it seemed to
him certainly that Pondon now and again was walking about, was walking
towards him, down a floor that ran level with his eyes, straight
towards the bridge of his nose. The physical discomfort of the
sensation was almost unbearable, but Lord Arglay held on. Pondon now
like a tiny speck was right up against him, and then the discomfort
vanished. A hand—not Chloe’s, not the Hajji’s, was closing round the
Stone in his own hand. Lord Arglay made another act of submission to
the Stone; all times were here and equal—if the captive of the past
could understand. The Stone seemed to melt, and almost before he had
realized it to reharden; the intruding hand was gone. There was a faint
crash somewhere, a sensation of rushing violence. Lord Arglay found
himself on his feet and gasping for breath while before him Chloe lay
pallid and silent and with shut eyes in her chair.
He stood still for a few seconds till he was breathing more normally
and had become more conscious of his surroundings; then, feeling
slightly uncertain of his balance, he sat down again. He became aware
that his hand and Chloe’s were now closely interlocked; in the hollow
between the two he felt the Stone. He looked more carefully at his
secretary; he put out his other hand and felt the table near him; then
he sighed a little. “And I wonder,” he said to himself, “if anything
has happened. Heavens, how tired I am! And what on earth is happening
to this child? She looks as if she were going through it too. Dare one
do anything?… I wonder why Giles shot across like that. He didn’t
seem to do anything. I wonder—I wonder about it all. Where is Pondon?
Where is
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