Chameleon, Otto Gramm [hardest books to read .TXT] 📗

glance at the light gray volume that he had put aside and read the title.

“Life description of Alexander Koldoum.”

– What the hell! – His voice pealed like a thunder throughout the hall and echoed for a few seconds among the walls and shelves.

Alex nervously looked around, licked his dry lips and timidly opened the book in the middle. The font was rather small. “After another injection, he had a strong migraine, but this was nothing compared to the pains of yesterday’s experiment. He could easily find a new seam on the back of his shaven head. Sitting in the corner of his room, he watered the cold floor with his tears, losing all hope of salvation... even of a long-awaited death.”

– Gods! – Alex groaned, not believing his eyes. He flipped further.

“He knew by heart all the way from his room to the main laboratory: every turn, every door, every single screw on the ventilation hatchways. He already had a perfectly honed escape plan. All he had to do was wait. According to his calculations, the moment was perfect before the next operation under anesthesia. For some weird reason, he has lately developed a strange immunity to the drug: instead of immersing him in a dream, it only blocked his pain. He had to wait until the doctors lose their vigilance and don’t fasten him to the bed.”

– What are you? – Alex wheezed, dumbfounded on the verge of hysterics. – The diaries of my guardian angel?

Burned with impatience, he riffled the book to the very end. In the last lines, there was a small print: “He could neither realize it, nor understand everything that was happening. He did not know if it was a dream, or an incomprehensible delusion. Totally confused, he eagerly leafed through the book with his life-story in the middle of a huge library, suspecting deep in his mind that it was not at the end he should look for the answers.”

Then something popped in his head. Alex began flipping the book back. “Laboratory, experiments... – He muttered. – ...more experiences... escape. Not that. A-ha! Vietnam! That’s about the ambush. Okay... One by one his comrades fell, struck by a hail of bullets... Further! The next day the weather overcast and his worries only worsened... Further... After three weeks in the he finally recovered... I remember that too... Gasping, he woke up in a pit with lump of dirt stuck in his pharynx. He cleared his throat and looked around, frightened, not understanding what had happened to him and how he had ended up here. As if waking from a long sleep, he tried to remember something, but his memory was void. He did not even remember his name. He had only an iron tag in his hand with Alexander Koldoum engraved on it.”

Finally, he reached the countdown of his life. And now his most painful question was only one page away.

He breathed full lungs with the air and hocked the page with his finger. However, the paper didn’t budge.

– What the? – Alex muttered in surprise. As he unfolded the book completely, he saw that all the other sheets were densely glued together.

“I need something sharp.” There was nothing suitable on his table so he headed for the next one. Among the reigning disorder there, Alex found an antique box of brass with a pair of quill pens and an elegant silver paper knife inside. After

Alex cleared with his the elbow some space and dropped almost all the contents of the table onto the floor, he opened his biography and tried to pick one of the glued pages with the sharp tip.

– Young man, don’t spoil the book!

Alex froze like a statue. A female voice sounded from behind, was high and clangorous. A barking, not a voice.

– I’m asking you! What are you doing here?

He realized he had nowhere to go and slowly turned around. At the other end of the reading hall stood a short woman. The curtain of light concealed her stern face, but still Alex could some details. She was wearing a beige blouse with ties under the collar, a brown jacket of rough cut, a pencil skirt of the same color that hid her knees, and shoes on a massive heel that looked strictly and a bit ridiculous on a lean body. Blonde hair with light streaks of gray were combed in a high bun on the top of her head and on the nose of the stranger there were small glasses in a square frame.

“Aw, no! That’s too much!” he thought, stupefied.

– Cat got your tongue? – But the woman seemed not surprised at all by his presence. Holding several folders in her hands, she confidently walked in his direction. – What are you doing here? If you like so much to cut and shred things, then you’re on the wrong floor. This is not a working shop.

– I... I... lost. – He hardly squeezed out when the librarian came to the table and, putting the folders aside, began to restore order.

– What a mess! These ruffians enjoy dropping everything, making a complete mess, spoiling books, and then I must fix, sew, put in place! – She grumbled exasperatedly, while picking up everything that Alex had thrown on the floor.

– I’m s...sorry. – He mumbled, completely confused. Crouched, he began to help. When everything was folded, the woman put the knife back into the box and, taking it with the folders, turned abruptly and headed away.

– Bu I... I need that! – Alex dashed after her.

– What for? – She lowered her glasses and gave him a strict glare over her shoulder. – To cut the book? Oh yes, give that back to me too.

– No! – He stepped back.

– This edition does not belong in the reading room. If you want to read it, apply to the archive. However, in advance you will need to fill out the form and refer it to the archivist...

– That’s goddamn nonsense! – He burst into yelling. – What the bloody form? Don’t you understand? My entire story is in this book, my all fucking life! But I can’t read the part I don’t remember because it’s glued together! Glued to hell! – Alex backed away until he buried his back on the bookshelf. – My life is screwed with some fucking office glue! How disgusting! You just smear a few pages and make a man forget! What kind of freak would do that to living books? – His voice trembled and a tear ran down his cheek.

Alex dropped his head, slowly slid down the wall and, still holding a battered gray book broke down and wept. Having forced all barriers, his grief finally escaped, as if a poison pulled out from the wound. Soon his body was seized by the new pain that brought healing.

– Dear-dear, do not get so upset! This is just a book. – The stranger said gently. Sharp notes in her voice disappeared and now her speech was flowing with a velvet stream that warmed and chilled at the same time. Alex raised his head, surprised, and his eyes immediately dried out: instead of a strict elderly librarian, a virgin bent down before him, the most beautiful he had ever seen. Hair of light-gold color, falling on her shoulders and chest, framed a gentle face, lacking in a single rough line. And her eyes... Alex almost forgot about breathing, as he looked at them. In wide pupils, surrounded by a thin ring of violet color, he seemed to be able to see the very infinity. Against the background of her pure fair skin, even the rays of light looked like faded strips.

– That’s more like it. – She smiled tenderly.

Alex froze in complete perplexity. The maiden, still smiling, slowly got up and walked away a few steps.

Instead of a coarse wool suit, she now wore a light white dress with open shoulders, dropping to her very heels. The neck was decorated with a massive gold gem, similar to a Persian necklace.

When, finally, Alex could take his eyes off her, he saw that the metamorphosis did not end there: tables, bookshelves, library, everything disappeared! Now he was surrounded by a cozy small hall, with light pouring from the window. A gentle breeze filled the room with fresh cold, fondled the weightless strips of white silk hanging from the ceiling, twisting them in traceries, making them play and shimmer with rainbow colors.

After looking around, Alex at last made sure that everything that had happened to him was inspired by illusion. A very strong illusion. Only now, he no longer knew whether to take the new reality for real. But in one thing he was definitely sure.

– Are you Danae? – He asked, getting up.

In response, the stranger softly laughed.

– Yes. And do not worry. There will be no more fears.

– Not all delusions were so bad. Although, I confess, your visions are more spectacular than Kyle’s.

– But you almost recognized them. Forgive me for what had happened in the corridor.

– Why did you do this? – He continued questioning when Danae went deeper into the room and her image hid behind a billowing silk.

– At your request. – Was a soft reply. – You wanted to ask me, didn’t you?

– About what?

He dove after her into the silks, wishing to see her silhouette again.

– About your past. – Her voice didn’t sound where she had disappeared.

– But I never got an answer! – He turned around.

– What did you want to hear?

– Well, at least something!

Alex began to spin around, trying to figure out where her voice was coming from. However, with every step he felt that he was even more confused. Silk was everywhere, hiding the room.

– Usually, when they demand anything, they beg for everything and even more.

– But I do want anything! – Alex replied upset. – It’s hard to trust yourself if you don’t know about your past sins and feats.

– Or maybe easier? No bindings. No stereotypes.

– I have enough of that! However, life behind bars and in a constant agony makes you not so optimistic.

– It teaches to save the brightest moments and good relationships, though.

– Or it makes you a sociopath and slowly drives you crazy!

– Alex, I would not harm you by saying more than I can. I know how hard you feel. – Danae’s voice gently whispered him in the ear. – But you are not ready.

– How come you know that? – Alex asked in a choking voice, standing still.

He realized that he was again confused in realities, but he did not want to dispel this illusion. Meanwhile, the silk stripes parted, again revealing to him a beautiful maiden standing at the other end of the room.

– In fact I have already shown you all your past. – She slowly approached and walked around him. – On the walls of the old corridor.

Koldoum opened his mouth, but the words froze in his throat.

– You suspected that was an illusion. You can see it now. – She said, as she stopped in front of him. – But did you pay attention to the images... there?

– No. – He uttered quietly.

– Why?

– I was running...

– From your past. – Danae smiled. – And now you want to know what preceded it.

Alex could not find what to say.

– Do not force the events, for whatever your life was once you learn it, you cannot change anything.

Alex bowed his head contritely and rubbed his neck.

– Easy ways are not for me.

– Fate does not show favor to its chosen ones. However, it will refund to those who lose a lot. Be patient and eventually everything will fall into place in your world.

– I do not want to hope for anything. Hope dazzles and leads away from reality.

– Then live every day and solve the pressing problems, as you always did. This is also the path to truth. Perhaps the rightest one.

– I’ll try. –