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at the seagull.

FIFI
Poor bird, are you cold?
SEAGULL

The night is a bit fresh. Do you happen to have a sinogan?

FIFI
What is it?

SEAGULL
It’s a sleeping tablet.

FIFI
I don’t sleep with tablets. I usually sleep with my husband but sometimes I use a
Friend in order to have some fun.

A middle-aged man appears, wearing a captain’s uniform with a white shirt, trousers and shoes. She turns to look at the newcomer.
FIFI
Homer, my darling.
She kisses him.
HOMER
What is my blond angel doing here alone?
FIFI
I asked this little bird who was the greatest sailor in the world, my captain.
HOMER
I’d like to be the greatest pirate of them all, just for you. You’re my treasure but I
can’t hide you in the most remote part of the Caribbean.

FIFI
We must hide ourselves from my husband, the general.
HOMER
Generals are nice.
FIFI
My captain won’t remember me tomorrow.
SEAGULL
I’ll have a nice time.
HOMER
My love will follow you everywhere, just like a good dog.
FIFI
I do believe you’re a dog.
HOMER
I feel like a schoolboy in love.
SEAGULL
I also see that soap opera.
FIFI
This is our last night. We’ll be far away from each other by tomorrow.
HOMER
We should be on our own if the general doesn’t disturb us.
FIFI
The general sleeps as deeply as a first line trench. Nothing wakes him up.
HOMER
He’s an antitank ditch.

SEAGULL
He must have made the Maginot line.
Cardinal Anastasio appears, wearing a red skirt with golden buttons, a triple crown with a diamond cross and socks and shoes similar to the skirt, while moving like a tanker getting ready for a fight. Measurements: 94-344-480
He coughs, his deep and authoritative voice coming out of his rounded stomach.
CARDINAL
I’m sorry for the interruption. I was talking to my God as usual.
Fifi and Homer kneel down on the floor.
FIFI AND HOMER (In unison)
Your highness..
The cardinal blesses them, reciting a few things in Latin.
CARDINAL
Stand up now my children. God will be with you forever.
They straighten their clothes while rising from the floor.
HOMER
Your highness, I want to thank you for visiting my ship.
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