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him. “Let her finish.” I say and Sarah smiles a wicked smile. “Everyone thinks she’s an angel, but we have to protect her from everything. She can’t even make a decision on who to pick between the two.” She couldn’t have known that. My eyes flicker to Sam, but he wouldn’t look at me. Rage, pure and hard takes over my body. I’m tired of running, I tired of crying. I wanted blood, I wanted to hear her beg me for mercy.  I was on her in seconds. I crashed my fist into her face. Once, twice. She falls to the ground like dead weight and I jump on top of her clawing at her skin. I felt her flesh rip beneath my nails. Blood pounded in my eyes and adrenaline pumps through my veins. I see nothing, but red. Someone grabs me from behind, but I push them and hear a crash on the other side of the room. I rap my hands around Sarah’s throat. I squeeze and I squeeze until I hear a satisfying cry escape her lips. I want her to beg. Beg me for her life. Beg me for mercy. Wham. I’m pushed into a wall. Nick is in front of me. The fog in my head lifts and I become aware of everything. Aware of the room tore apart. Aware of the blood that covered me. Aware of the pain from my hands squeezing Sarah’s neck. Aware of how my lungs burn from the screaming I had done. Nick locks eyes with me. “You don’t want to do it. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life, it will haunt you” he whispers to me. His gaze is so intense, his eyes filled with so much sadness. He releases the pressure on my shoulders, turning me loose. I see Dakota kneeling beside Sarah. His clothes were ripped in the back, he was the one I knocked into the wall. Shame swept over me, I glance at Sarah . Her nose was broken. Both of her eyes were already blackening. There were long claw marks down the side of her face. I turn away, disgusted with myself and run up the steps. I make it to my room right as the tears fall. I go and open my sketch book. I think of when I was five. How I punched a boy and he went sailing across the room. My mother told me I could never lose my temper. Sorry mom. I thought to myself . I open the sketch book to my very fist drawing. It was him as a wolf. Dark, mysterious, compassionate. I flip to a new page. I draw Nicholi when he’s teleporting. I draw him where he’s halfway here and halfway somewhere else. Half way to freedom half stuck in the present. I draw that because that’s how I feel. Not here, nor there. I draw on into the night. Dakota doesn’t come. Have I made him mad? Eventually, my curiosity takes over and I walk to his room. I knock and he opens in a white t-shirt and flannel pajama pants. He stares at me a moment. “I couldn’t sleep” I whisper, eyes lingering over his body. He moves aside so I can come in. I’ve never been in his room. I think nervously to myself. He has velvet carpet and grey walls. The covers on his bed is rumpled and unmade. His room is covered in books. Some old and worn, some not. I sit on his bed. I’m suddenly surrounded in his scent. I love it. I wanted to tell him now that I loved him. Dakota looks out of the window onto his balcony. He looks like he’s completely somewhere else. I wish I knew what he was thinking. “Dakota, I need to tell you something” I say. He turns and looks at me, he looked sad. I beam brightly. “I do to, Riley” He says. I smile “I love you” I whisper. Chapter 19: Can you die of heart break?

 

He stiffens then he looks like he’s in pain. “Are you ok?” I ask jumping up and feeling his head for a fever. He flinches at my touch, like he’s burned. He stands too. “Riley, I don’t think we should see each other anymore”. He blurts out. My world crashes and burns. I stare at him confused, but he doesn’t meet my gaze. There’s silence. “Is this because of Sarah?” I ask. He shakes his head no. I roll images through my mind over and over, trying to understand what I did wrong. “Am I not…good enough? I know I’m not pretty like Sarah or Rebecca-“ I start off. “NO! Your perfect, it’s me!” He yells I laugh just to keep from crying. “Oh the old ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ thing huh?”  I say sarcastically. He shakes his head. I kiss him, right on the mouth. He kisses me back, then pushes me…hard. “STOP” he yells. I make a choke/sob noise. “Tell me you don’t love me then! Tell me you don’t feel this” I put my hand on his chest and our souls snap together, instantly. He flinches, but doesn’t push me away. Then he looks at me with a look of pure agony and says “I don’t love you, it all was a lie” I choke, I can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t live because Dakota doesn’t love me. I slap him hard across the face I hear the crack which causes the tears to flow more. He stumbles into the wall and I run from his room, run from the institute, run from my life, because no one loves me. No one cares If I live or die. I have no one to catch me if I fall. And I just fell hard, right into the ground. I run and run ignoring the pain in my legs and the hammering of my heart.  I feel shattered, broken. I run so I can feel something, anything at all. I feel the rocks dig into my bare feet. I feel the branches cut my face as I run. I stumble over a rock and fall on my face. Pinecones and rocks dig deep into my skin and I cry harder. How could it all be a lie? How could he not feel what I felt? How could I’ve miss read everything? I crawl into the fetal position and weep silently. I hear the rustling of leaves all around me. I was deep inside to woods. I glance up, wolves surround me. They were all different colors. Grey, black, red, white. They watched me with, curiosity and pity. I just lay my head back down on the cold floor. They stand around me, watching. If they kill me I hope they make it quick. Snow begins to fall. Tiny snowflakes fall softly all around me. I begin to shiver. The wolves settle around me laying there warm bodies against mine. The black one, there leader lies in front of me. I bury my face in his fur and cry some more because he reminds me so much of Dakota. I lay on my back and stare at the stars. So small, so taken for granite, so…forgotten. I wish I could just float away. The hair on my neck stands on end. Goosebumps appear all along my body. I know he’s here. I feel his presence like I feel any other demons. I just lay there gazing blankly into the black forest. He moves silently, closer. The wolves tense. I hear the slight rustles of leaves. “What do you want, Nicholi?” I whisper.   

                                                                                                               

 

Chapter 20: The talk

 

“Were friends, I just want to talk” he says. I just lay there, to in shock to moves. In shock of how Dakota could do this to me. He was supposed to protect me, but in reality he was the only thing that could destroy me. I lay there vulnerable, broke, shattered. I don’t answer him. I stay quiet. “Are you ok?” He asks, with real concern. I close my eyes wishing the world would just stop turning. “Perfect” I spit at him like pure venom. He flinches at the sound of my voice, then a smile breaks across his face. “That’s my girl” he says. I just lay there. The wolves watch Nicholi and the leader softly growls at him. “You know, Riley, that the first time I saw you I knew you were special.” He says with a faraway look in his eyes. “You were fierce, I was going to let that demon kill you. But, I looked into your eyes and I didn’t see fear. It was everything, but that.” He says. “Something inside me said, she deserves to live, she’s something special. Then when I saved you, you didn’t try to kill me. You weren’t scared of me or defensive, even though everything inside you was screaming to kill me” he whispers. I was shocked how did he know that’s how it was? “How” I ask. “Because that’s how I feel when I’m around you” he answers true fully. Were quiet then I let out a pitiful laugh. “We have a screwed up friendship” I say and he smiles. “Yeah, I guess we do” he says. I still laid there. “He didn’t mean what he said, you know” Nicholi whispered. The tears fall again. I stay silent. “Just leave” I say. He’s quiet a  moment longer, than I hear him leave. I breathe a sigh of relief. I was alone once more. I think about Dakota again. This time its anger that feels me. He did feel it. He had to. I think of his warm, protective arms. His kiss that made me forget I’m on earth. Made me forget anything else existed except Dakota. Then his words whisper in my mind. “I don’t love you, it all was a lie” it couldn’t be. I kiss the top of the leaders head. I get up, my legs numb and wobbly. My cuts and bruises scream at me to stop. The wolves look at me with concern. Their leader stands by me. The rest stay put. I stumble my way back to the institute. The cold nips at my body. It seeps into my bones, but all I feel is hollowness. All I feel is brokenness. I feel dead inside. I only feel one emotion. I only want one thing. I wanted revenge. I wanted Dakota to hurt, like

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