Secret War: Warhammer 40,000, Ben Agar [list of ebook readers .txt] 📗

why, as she disappeared from the Sensorium.

I stood there gaping stupidly; hand still held out.

"What are you doing?" said Karmen, and my attention snapped to her, anger raging through me suddenly.

"What?" I growled.

Karmen stopped as she approached me, tears shining in her eyes, the bandages that covered her scared features crinkling with her grimacing, "go to her, you idiot," she squeaked. "She's only here because of you. Help her."

"How?" I gasped out.

"Tell her why, Attelus," she said. "Tell her the truth. Like you'd promised."

"But she'll hate me!" I cried.

Then she slapped me in the face, striking me; it stung horribly and sent me to my knees. I heard a crunch! Indicating she'd broken her hand, but she didn't let out a cry of pain or anything.

"It doesn't matter if she hates you!" Karmen roared down at me. "That's your damn fault! Don't be so frigging selfish! I can't believe you can be so selfish! Now get up and tell her everything! And deal with whatever consequence it brings because it is your own!"

I wiped the blood from my split lip with a forearm, fighting back more tears and climbed to my feet with shaking limbs.

"What about Verenth?" I said. "Surely he deserves to know too."

"I'll take care of him," said Karmen. "Don't you worry. Now go frig you!"

I nodded and turned, then left.

 

 

The two Stormtroopers led me to Adelana's quarters. They understood my haste, so it only took us a few minutes to find it.

I said my thanks to them and pressed the door alarm, then waited.

I waited for a good half a minute, trying to keep calm, tapping the tip of my shoe on the floor while smoking another Lho.

After that time, I hesitantly called again, thinking the worst, but this time, the door almost immediately slid open. I found myself almost face to face with the old woman.

"What do you want?" she said, looking at me darkly.

"I'm glad you're here," I said. "I'm here to fulfil my promise to Adelana; I believe you too deserve to know the truth."

"Of course I bloody do," she stated. "Omnartus may not have been my native world, but I have lived there for the past six years."

I nodded. "May I come in?"

The woman's eyes narrowed, glancing me up and down, before eventually nodding and stepping aside to allow me in.

"Thank you," I said and slipped inside.

The quarters was identical to mine, but the illumination globes were off, endowing the place in darkness. The light from the corridor outside allowed me to see Adelana, who was curled up in a foetal ball on the bed.

The quarters was in almost complete darkness as the door slid shut, and the woman walked past me, sitting on the bed next to Adelana.

My eyes quickly adjusted, and in gaping silence, I slowly approached, unsure how to begin or even where.

"It's alright," said the old woman, and I could see she was smiling at me. "Take your time."

I sighed and nodded, and I could hear poor Adelana crying softly into her hands.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry," I said. "I didn't mean...I didn't mean for this to happen. Please don't hate me, please."

"I'm sure you didn't," said the old woman. "How could you? But it seems like you think you are somewhat responsible for this travesty."

I shrugged, unable to say anything more; my courage was fast failing me.

"I've made...I've made mistakes, stupid, stupid mistakes."

"And who hasn't?" said the old woman. "Look what you did to Vex?"

I flinched at the mention of that. "I shouldn't have done that, but I've done worse...I don't know where to start."

The woman shook her head as she stroked Adelana's hair. "Where else can you start? But at the beginning?"

I sighed, her words reminded me of Garrakson, and then I knew exactly where to start.

"I was born in a country called Velrosia, in its capital, Varander on the agri world of Elbyra..."

I told them almost everything, leaving out most of my very rocky relationship with my mother, especially what she'd done to me when I was really young. Then I spoke of my father's teachings and who and what he was. Next, I told of the invasion of Elbrya, how I'd survived in the ruins of Varander but left out my desperate cannibalism. Then my subsequent meeting with Estella Erith and our battles and subsequent escape south.

It didn't take long for Adelana to sit up and watched at me with a wide, watery-eyed, almost awed gaze.

I told of how Estella had attempted to change my memories. I spoke of my decision to become an assassin and my escape from Elbyra on a refugee ship. My first paid killing and of how Glaitis saved me from execution then took me under her wing.

For most of my six-year employment under Glaitis, I skipped. That time wasn't important to the overall story. It felt like years wasted; I was mostly a low-level enforcer, almost all of what I'd learned during that time was from Glaitis telling me rather than showing.

I told of my arrival on Omnartus, of Karmen placing the mind lock on my mind. I summarised the six months, fighting the local Hammers with Garrakson, Torris and Elandria and the search for Brutis Bones.

Then the Twilight bar incident, I left out how utterly injured I was by the Arco Flagellant and Faleaseen fixing and enhancing me just that I was in a coma for a month.

All of it, pretty much all of it, from my fight with Elandria, all the way to just before we met them at Vex's office. Never once did they interrupt me; I just sat utterly taken in with every one of my words.

Once I'd finally finished, the old woman and Adelana sat in stunned silence for a good ten minutes.

"I...I," squeaked Adelana, breaking the silence.

My attention snapped to her, my breath baited, hoping to all hell she'd believed me that she wouldn't hate me.

"You've led one interesting life, Attelus," said the old woman. "I don't know what to say."

"You believe me?" I said.

"I do," she answered. "It's a lot to digest, but I believe you."

I nodded, finding I liked this woman; I just wished I could remember her damn name.

"So," said Adelana. "The whole reason you were born was so you could take that pict, so this...Etuarq can use it to destroy Omnartus?"

"Yeah," I said. "I told you it's complicated."

"That's horrible," she said. "I don't understand..."

She wandered off in her sentence, and her attention fell to the floor.

"Don't understand what, honey?" asked the old woman.

"How, how can you be okay after learning that?" she said. "After everything you have been through, how can you be so..."

She grimaced and sighed, looking like she was struggling to find the right word.

"So sane," she said before I could make a suggestion.

I sniggered slightly and shook my head. "I am far from sane, Adelana."

She opened her mouth and inhaled, looking like she would say something but seemed unable to.

"I'm sorry, but I have to say, Omnartus died because of a pict? A single pict?" said the woman.

"Yes, a pict I took," I said.

"The guilt you must feel," she said.

"Is overwhelming," I said.

"But it's not your fault," said Adelana. "No, really, how were you supposed to know it would lead to that."

"I should've..." I said, tears welling in my eyes and my hands balled into fists. "I should've known; I should've done something. But I was so caught up in selfishly saving my own arse."

"Wanting to live isn't selfish, Attelus!" Adelana cried. "I think many others would've done the same. Although maybe you wouldn't have succeeded, you mustn't let your guilt overtake you! You still have to stop that Etuarq monster!"

I looked down at her, shocked.

She sighed. "Thank you for telling us, Attelus. It must've been taken a lot of courage to have done it."

"Yeah," breathed the woman. "Hell yeah."

"I thought you'd hate me," I said.

Adelana shrugged. "After what you said in the ship before, I did some soul searching. You were right; hate is one of the things wrong with the galaxy. So I won't hate you, I can't. You were just a pawn in this; I see it now."

She frowned. "But I'm not sure I'm grateful that you saved me. You did it for selfish reasons and..."

"And?"

"Just give me some time, please," she said. "Just let me have some time, too...I've gotta think moreover."

I nodded. "Yeah, more than fair enough, I will hopefully see you sooner rather than later," I said, getting the hint and slipping my hands into their pockets, then turned and left.

 

 

Still escorted, I walked back to my quarters; it was only a few doors down from Adelana's.

When the door slid shut behind me, I stepped inside and let out the most protracted sigh yet. The exhaustion hit me again, along with the many aches and pains of my injuries.

I stumbled in and threw myself onto my bed; I laid there, staring up at the gunmetal grey ceiling.

An entire world dead, it was hard to believe. Hard to comprehend that humanity had such insane power at its hands.

How many billions of years did it take for Omnartus to evolve and change into what it was? Only to be reduced to fire and ash in a mere hour.

Again, I tried to sleep, but my mind was awash with thoughts. I still couldn't believe Adelana didn't hate me even after finding out the rather central role I'd played in the destruction of her homeworld.

She seemed almost to feel sorry for me. I didn't need her frigging pity.

But on second thought, the way she looked at me, it wasn't pitying, not really. On the contrary, it seemed almost to be admiration. Now she knew what I'd been through, the horrors I've had to endure.

The visitation alarm shrilled suddenly, making me flinch in fright, and I let out a pained groan.

"Whaaat?" I growled as the door swished open, and Darrance stepped in.

"Apprentice," he said with a formal nod.

I didn't reply, just glared at him balefully.

"I hope I'm not interrupting your brooding," he said.

"What do you want?"

Darrance sighed. "Alright, alright, I can't really blame you for being upset right now."

"Oh, good to hear!" I said sarcastically. "Good to know you understand."

"I've been working on things; with Glaitis dead and Hayden in a coma, I am now the senior-most assassin in our organisation," said Darrance. "I thought you should be updated."

I sat up on my bed. "Life goes on, I guess," I sighed.

"I visited Hayden just before," he said. "The medicaes say he will live but will need an augmetic to replace his shoulder."

I frowned and looked to the floor guiltily; I'd forgotten about poor Hayden entirely in everything.

"And what about Jelket?" I asked.

"He will live, too," said Darrance. "Don't know how he made it; it's almost miraculous."

I nodded. "Good, that's good."

"I have also written up an astropathic communique I will send to Glaitis' cult," he said. "It's too dangerous to send it now; the Space Marine fleets are searching the solar system for us as we speak."

My expression darkened. "And what does it say, exactly?"

"Pretty much everything," said Darrance with a shrug. "Excluding your psychic enhancement, of course, and your apparent manipulation of Jeurat Garrakson."

"You're sure that's wise?" I said.

"Yes," he said without hesitation. "If we are to one day stop Etuarq, we'll need all the allies we can get."

I grimaced. "What if they're secretly allied with him?"

"What if they're not," he countered. "Besides, if they are, he had probably informed them of everything anyway; now they think we trust them."

"That sounds awfully like backwards logic to me," I said.

"Does it?" he said with a smug smile. "You seemed awfully quick to trust this Inquisitor; how do you know she isn't secretly allied with Etuarq? It's one of your many weaknesses rearing its ugly head yet again, can't say no to a pretty face, can we, Attelus?"

I sighed. "Under the circumstances, we don't have much of a choice to trust her, Darrance. But yes, perhaps you're right."

"Trust nothing, suspect everything," intoned Darrance.

My frown deepened, and I