Why We Flop In Love, Santosh Jha [inspirational novels .txt] 📗

into being’. That is, there are two stages of arriving at your consciousness. One is non-dualistic and another dualistic. Secondly, it says, it is a cyclic process. You arrive with something and after traversing a long journey reach back to the same stage. That is, starting from non-dualism, traversing various dimensions of dualism and then attaining the stage of higher non-dualism. However, the two forms of non-dualism, one at the start and another at the other end of journey are similar but not the same. The non-dualism after the cyclic journey is the pure and exalted one and the one at the start was not.

The prescription is; those who are blessed ones arrive at non-dualism of second stage before they arrive at the non-dualism of first stage. In philosophy, this dualism is expressed in the quote – “Child is the father of a man”. This however is an idealism. For common human being, the cyclic evolution is the only process available. The kid’s love has to evolve through the love of a young one and then reach at the love of a person who has it as pure, innocent and as sublime as the one he was born with but having completed the cyclic journey of dualism.

The process looks so simple and it seems this cyclic evolution of consciousness is an automatic one, available for all. The reality is far from it. This is just a prescribed route for all but only a few reach destinations following the route. The journey of dualism devours and dissipates a majority of humans. And, as modern cultural forces makes the journey of dualism far more intense, conflicting and over-empowering, it is now far more difficult for average humans to reach the ultimate positioning of the exalted non-dualism.

Love in contemporary culture, across the globe is the best and easiest parameter to understand the core and cardinal challenge for consciousness. In modern world, love everywhere is in the critical and conflicting domain of dualism. That is why; seldom, love exists and stays in its true form. The love one sees in the pop culture is dualistic. The man who proposes the love is not non-dualistic and that’s why he is offering love that is exposed to and mired with the conflict and dualism of nurture and confused nature. The woman who receives Love is far more in conflict and dualism.

The current century has witnessed men a bit improved from their archaic troubled positions. They remain true to their instincts yet, improved slightly in their nurtured consciousness, as times have changed. The women, especially in modern urban and liberal societal milieu are fast losing their natural and instinctive position, as defined traditionally and the contemporary nurture has landed them in a new situation they are still not in good terms with. Therefore, the dualism in women is far more chaotic, conflicting and instable compared to men. That is why; love is a casualty more in the hands of women today. Once again, it need be repeated – it is not a blame rather just a statement of possible realism!

It has to be understood with an objective consciousness, which is tough. A man usually approaches a woman with love as he always had. He finds the response to his love now largely at variance with what he earlier got. Because, the woman who receives his love, offers her far more conflict and dualism that she usually used to do. This has got to do with nurture changes that women have undergone in the last half a century. This is no blame game but just a statement of probabilistic factualism. Debates can be unending!

Somewhere, the old ‘poise’ of man-woman love has gone missing. Naturally, there emerges a tendency among men to look for this ‘missing’ thing in many ways. The balance has gone missing and the search for the missing from both ends, create such varied and experimental structures, which soon becomes a cultural rule or gets enhanced societal desirability and acceptability. The dualism of love becomes beyond redemption and non-dualism of love becomes an extinct possibility.

The love-debacle is just one aspect of human consciousness, which has gone beyond the possibility of a prescribed and ideal stage of non-dualism. In modern contemporary world, the dualism of human consciousness has been so much exacerbated and conflicted that now it seems almost impossible for someone to attain the idealism of the non-dualism.

The forces of culture and nurture are so powerful and so highly conflicting and chaotic that the dualism of consciousness is getting more intense and centripetal. The cherished energy powering the cyclic journey of first stage of non-dualism through the dualism to make it arrive at the exalted non-dualism of highest order has become so dissipated and disheveled that it is making human consciousness its favored prey.

**

Love Wisdom – 6

All brilliant, overwhelming and beautifully self-negating emotions and experiences of life are those ‘intangibles’, which are engendered ‘instinctively’ though the functioning of ‘tangibles’. Love portrays the joys of this rainbowish dualism best.

**

Delving Deep Into ‘Whys’ And ‘Hows’ of Love

Knowing, why and how about what is there to be known is a huge facility. Not all would admit that. It is definitely not easy, if not cumbersome to invest time and resources on this process and mechanism.

Moreover, for ages, our minds have been trained to see and accept only ‘whats’ and often we are told by mentors and guardians not to ‘waste time’ in endeavors to know ‘whys’ and ‘hows’! They were probably right as there was actually no reliable, measurable and provable answers about the ‘whys’ and ‘hows’!

Now, after centuries of hugely sacrificing and compassionate efforts by many great minds, we have good measure of satisfactory and provable knowledge of the mechanisms and the processes. It is really interesting as well as profitable to know about them and use the ‘new thinking’ and ‘new wisdom’ to know in detail about almost everything, which we have been used to accepting without really bothering to ask, ‘why and how’!

Almost all men would ask, ‘why the women are like that’, irrespective of them being in love with a woman or not. The wisest and best of the counsel they all would get from mentors and peers is, ‘only God knows the answer, so better accept what is there!’ This weird advocacy would come, as people did not know the mechanism and processes that go on to create a consciousness called woman!

Scientific evidences suggest, the reason should be looked into the thousands of years of evolution which engendered brain and sensory mechanisms in woman in a particular way and as these mechanisms are part of the wiring, or what they call genetic programming, most women would behave true to their instincts and wired consciousness!

Sample this. Most men would complain that women are so prone to seeing a simple thing as a complex issue and would unnecessarily or even naggingly, go into the trivial and finicky aspects of a particular issue or problem.

It is a saying, ‘men see straight and simple, women see curved and particular’. This is a huge trouble-tweet between the two genders that have been designed and evolved to live in peaceful and compatible co-existence. But they don’t!

Delve deeper into the aspects of ‘why and how’. The mechanism makes both of them stand in better stead! It needs to be understood. Evolution has shown us that most morphological as well as behavioral traits we humans developed since thousands of years come from what is now known as ‘sexual selection’. Evolution has been a function of natural selection as well as sexual selection but the later was most dominant force in later years of evolution as humans conquered many aspects of nature’s troubles.

The sexual selection is mostly a tool at the hands of females of a species. What we see as culture in human societies are mostly a process and mechanism of sexual selection as preferred and professed by women. The women, thousands of years back developed this social trait of nag, fussiness and adherence to trivial details. All this is a beautiful and very fruitful energy for both men and women. This energized many a suitable survival changes for humanity at large.

Scientific evidences suggest; very early in human evolution, women needed men as fathers of their child who were more considerate, compassionate and loyal. They still want the same. They devised a way and this became the tool for sexual selection of partners for women. Women found that those men, who were genetically inclined to pay attention to trivial details and were less agitated about unnecessary burdens on them, proved compassionate and loyal partners.

For this simple reason, women chose those men who had far more facial and body hair as this was a clear signal that such men were genetically suitable for mating. Even recent surveys showed, it is still true with most women. The simple genetic logic was, ‘if the man has so much extra energy and tolerance for something as silly and useless as body hair, he shall also be considerate and compassionate towards so many other uninteresting and cumbersome things which he shall have to as a father and good husband.’

Still, women would prefer a man who is less rich but given to a habit of feeding grains every morning to birds and squirrels than the one who is richer but screams at birds and squirrels for landing their shits on his precious car. You bet!

The simple goodness is in accepting this intangible mechanism and the beneath the skin ‘genetic logic’ and then move on to an inculcated or cultural trait that works fine for you. The men must understand the mechanism and suitably alter their behavior and action towards women.

Pick up flowers randomly and make it a bunch for your woman telling her that you wandered miles in the wood to pick them up for her and she shall be the happiest. No, please do not do that ever! Be genuine. Knowing the mechanism does not anyway license you to become fox-smart and indulge in ingenuity. This ingenuity of men has been responsible for the massacre of innocence in women. Now men rue the loss!

Always be genuinely simple and innocent before your woman. Be warned, women are genetically empowered to sniff out any fake or tricky ingenuity. If you love your woman, even if you do not, be genuine and always be true in your concern for her instinctive and innate urges and traits. Just do simple things, help her when she puts up a silly bargain in a shop and if not then at least do not get pissed. Just look concerned and interested. Appreciate when she overstresses herself over some trivial issue and make a case for simple thinking much later, when you have landed enough kisses on her lips and put her in a level mind, closing her as tight as possible in your embrace!

Women on their part should do their bit. They also need to accept and understand their instinctive and genetic consciousness. We live in a different world now. Women now have better tools for sexual selection and they are definitely more empowered. A hairy man may not be the right idea now as he might have hygiene issues! Therefore, a shaved and clean face and armpit man may be a better choice. You decide! Definitely, when things change in time and space scales, human culture also changes and a suitable change in instinctive action and behavior would surely help!

Scientists have been cautioning that an average human mind is still carrying loads of such instinctive choices and preferences, which were required thousands of years back and are now not only obsolete rather a huge burden for personal as well as societal growth and wellness. Both men and women need to prune the obsolete instincts and replace them with behavioral choices suitable for modern life and living to enhance wellness.

The non-dualistic love however shall always remain something both men and women should look