SUNSHINE, Hestrin Zantya [ereader with dictionary TXT] 📗

my doubt in him grows frequently. I don't know what to do because my feelings are gone. But that's because I found a man who could make me feel like I am home. He's someone that all the kids want to be their father, someone that all the kids want to be their uncle, someone that all the kids want to be their friends, but most of all he's someone that I really want to be my husband.

 January 31st 2013 that's when the first time I knew him. He was there on an online chatting room and said "hi" to me. I did not really expect for a boring conversation honestly so I asked him about his sexual, it was something like an ordinary chatting stuff, we talked about so many things but we both have the same interest that is guitar. I am not a great guitar player but at least I can play it and write a song with my guitar. It's surprised me that he said he wrote songs to, I thought he's just an unimportant stranger from a chatting room but I was mistaken, because he is the greatest man I have ever met online.

We talked for hours everyday, I never get bored with all his words, he is a smart guy, and friendly. I knew that from the first time he asked me about everything. He talked about politic, music, foods, tv shows, greatest rock band, his life, his career, his songs there are so many cool things that we have talked about together. He has a cute face too, I never thought that I could like him, honestly I was thinking that he could probably act like a guy in his age but I did not see that from him. He is eighteen years older than me but I never feel like we have a gap or something like discrepancy specially when we're talking about music. My life has changed since I met him, it's a bit worrying me but I know that I could not stop it. I do need him in my life.

I know that I could hurt my boyfriend too, but I could not hurt both of them. I don't want to hurt myself either, I know that I am a selfish woman but that's the only option left for me. I can't marry two men anyways so I just have to make a damn hard decision for my happiness. I remember when my Grandpa said if I do believe in God then I could make my dreams come true and I am sure it's one of them. I know that hard for him to be with me because honestly we have a big issue too so I just hope that someday God shows him the truth of everything and we can be together for forever. And I hope someday I could tell my boyfriend that love can't be forced by anything, I know that now I feel pity for things that he's done for me, I know that he tried so hard to show me his love through those things he did but I can't lie to my heart either because nowadays my heart says different name and weather it's right or wrong I just want to be happy.

Future

The sun is coming out, I can see myself smiling at him. He is standing next to me, it's been years since we finally can live together happily ever after. I am grateful for what I have now, two lovely childrens of ours are playing at the garden, now I have a beautiful garden so I think my grandpa was right that if I believe in God then I can make all my dreams come true even the things that I was not really into, such the garden. But it's so full of happiness, we are watching our son Rebel and our daughter Rosie play together happily. I look at him, he looks so happy and health, I am so grateful to God that I still have him in my life.

I lay my head on his shoulder when we are sitting on the bench, I love laying my head on his shoulder and I know he will kiss my head whenever I do that. It's amazing that I could have a husband like him, he is a great man, a great friend, a great partner, and a great father. We have been together for years but we still feel as if we just met yesterday, all the things that we've been troughed, all the diversities that we had, all the adversities that we faced together are now turning into an amazing time. I love when we're going out with our kids somehwere, for foods, picnics, musics, and another cool things that we have had before. He is still playing his guitar, he still writes lots of cool songs and I am so proud of him. We also have a small business now, I've opened my boutique last week and it got a good welcome. Everyday he gives me a good company when I am at work, when I am cooking, when I am sleeping and even when I am sick. We always have fun in every single things that we do. He shows his big love to me, he teachs our kids good things too, I know that my kids are so proud of their dady because their dady is a great man. And one thing that I love the most is when I can kiss his cotton candy hair over and over agin, and I know that he'll just say "Oh H..you're my little sunshine!" and then he will kiss me tenderly.

 

 

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Publication Date: 07-02-2013

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Dedication:
my cotton candy man