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No one reaches for the serving spoon, already lodged into the bowl.

“Okay, I will go first then!”

Poor Holly is so excited about their pasta dinner.

She reaches for the spoon and pulls out the whole bowl of pasta with her! Literally, the whole thing! Everyone is silent for about 30 seconds and then Holly bursts out laughing! She has this high pitched but humerous laugh that gets my father laughing. He has more of a deep chuckle the makes me giggle a little and even Jake gives off a grin that I think is the closest that the he comes to laughing at any time. Next, its my turn. I completely lose it and cant help myself from laughing.

We all sit there and just giggle at this for at least ten minutes! It really lightened to mood.

“So who wants to go to dinner?” my father asks “My treat!”

For some unbeknownst reason, to me anyway, this starts a whole new round of laughing.

Well, by the time we stop, we pile into the SUV and are on our way.

Eventually, we come across some little Italian restaurant and decide its about time we stop for a bite.

Inside is a bit crowded, but we are seated almost immediately.

The waitress comes by, says her name is Mary, and takes our drink orders. I notice that my father only gets a Coke. Just before he left us I had noticed he was drinking a whole lot more beers than before. My mother at her best again I'm sure.

We decide to just order this huge bowl of Chicken Riggies (I have never before been to a restaurant where you can order a platter of pasta and they bring you plates for everyone to eat from the platter. Its pretty cool I must say.)

I start to realize that my Dad has it pretty good now. And I'm starting to think that I could get used to this life with the laughter and the crazy dogs and thing that I find that I missed the most… a family.

***

Well, its been about a week now and my mother still has not called. I'm not going to lie…I really don’t want her to. I mean, I realize that my mother was never really a very attentive person, but think about it. What other parent do you know that could go a week without realizing that her only child is not living there anymore?! Yeah, that’s what I thought, I don’t know any others either.

But besides that, this week has been wonderful! Really! My father has been a real Dad and while hes still a little rusty at having a daughter, hes trying his hardest and getting quite good at it.

He does simple things that my mother never did. Like ask if I want to run to the store with him or suddenly he will shout out “Anyone up for some ice cream?” and everyone (including Buddy) will walk down to the ice cream parlor on the corner.

Then on the Wednesday about two weeks after my abrupt departure from my mothers life, the phone rings.

The funny thing is that this is not usually a big deal here. The phone rings all the time. People seem to like this family, which is a strange thing for me. I'm not used to being part of a family that actually is liked by the general public.

But anyway, it rings and my father picks up.

“Hello?”
“Oh, hi Sandra. What? Oh yes she is here. No I didn’t- What do you want me to- Okay I think-“

Yeah that about all he got out. The occasional “yeah but-“ or “I understand but you need to-.” My poor father.

So by the time he hangs up the phone I think I'm in for a good “talking to” as my mother would call it.

Instead he just looks at me and shrugs as if to say ‘yeah I know, I was married to her.’ And walks out of the room.

That was the first almost contact with my mother and know what I realized more than anything else? I really am not quite ready to go home yet.

***

The days since my mothers call have been great. I spend as much time with my father and his family as I can. I even find that I don’t long for my long walks alone anymore.

I think I have seen my Dad more in the last three weeks than I have seen my mother in the last three years. No joke.

Oh and something else? I really have come to like Holly. She is very nice and I really enjoy just hanging out with her. We go shopping sometimes which is totally cool because I haven’t really had the chance to go shopping with anyone else since… well probably since my mother forgot she had a daughter. And we even have learned to cook together!

Alright I will admit, we don’t so much as “cook” as “experiment” with some ingredients and hope they don’t explode before we put them on the table for dinner. The food we make is so much better than any of the gourmet food that my mother brings home as leftovers from her business ventures.

I know that I will have to call my mother soon, especially because I need to know what to do about school. But my father talked to me about something. He offered to enroll me in school here, finish out the year and see what happens after that.

I had so much trouble deciding to even call him that first day and now I think its so funny that I didn’t want to talk to him because now I cant see how I could ever want to go back home. Not yet anyway. I will give it a few more days of thought and then give my mother a call.

Maybe this is the change that my life was looking for.

***

Alright, so here's the deal…I have a problem.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm sure you’re sitting there saying ‘what else is new’ and under a different circumstance, I may (okay definitely would) agree with you.

But this is different. This is a BIG problem.

Alright, best to just get it out there.

My mother has called three times in the last week and I have avoided all the calls because guess what? I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE!

There, its out there happy? Cue laughing.

God, I cant imagine how redundant I must sound by now!

First, ignore my dad. Then live with my Dad. Then ignore my mom.

But I will give you one guess as to the difference between these two situations?

Okay, times up. If you didn’t get it by now you don’t pass GO and don’t collect $200.

I am not. I repeat, am NOT going to live with my mother again.

Everything just feels so right here, why would I want to leave? The step-mommy and brother and Dad…everything just is so right. I have even got used to “the beast.” Yeah, that’s what I decided will be my name for him.

But anyway, can’t get off track this time.

So what does one do in such a situation? Do I tell my mom? Or do I continue to ignore her calls and just go straight to my dad with my dilemma?

Dad. Deffinatelly my Dad.

But…..

Okay, so try to keep up with me on this one.

What if I told my Dad, but my Dad didn’t want me to stay? Or what if I told him and he ordered me to call my Mother immediately? Or what if he told me that I have completely lost my marbles and that ‘no insane individual is going to live under my roof’ and he kicks me out? Or what if he goes completely insane and just combusts? Ohmygod!!!!

Wow, I need to eat less cheese before I go to bed.

My Dad. Deffinatelly my Dad.

***

So heres the latest, I called my mom! I know, I'm incredible!

Okay, and here really is the latest…that was a lie. I know I know I'm terrible! But the thing is, I just cant seem to get up the courage to call her.

I have spent so much of my life with her avoiding me that I don’t really know how to talk to her.

But I realize that it must be done, so here goes nothing.

One ring. God what am I doing? Two rings. Where the hell does she think she is? Her daughter is calling after all! Three rings. Okay once more and I'm hanging up. Three rings. Alright this time I really mean it. Last time. Fourth ring. Alright, hanging up. Answer.

“Hello? Annabella?"

Damn. Why me?

“Hello? Annabella are you there?"

I guess I have to answer considering I did call her and all.

“Yea mother, I'm here.”
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