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Which You Will Have In Reading No Apology

Can Be Due From

 

 

Your Friend And Obedient Servant,

 

 

A. Burr.

Chapter XVIII Pg 410

In January, 1801, Colonel Burr'S Daughter Theodosia Was Married To

Joseph Alston, Esq., Of South Carolina. Mr. Alston Was In His

Twenty-Second, Miss Burr In Her Eighteenth Year. He Was A Gentleman Of

Talents And Fortune, And A Few Years After His Marriage Was Chosen

Governor. Some Opinion Of His Style Of Writing May Be Formed By His

Defence Of Early Marriages; While That Portion Of His Letter Which

Relates To His Native State Cannot Be Uninteresting To South

Carolinians.

Chapter XVIII Pg 411

Theodosia Burr To Joseph Alston.

 

 

New-York, January 13Th, 1801.

 

 

 

I Have Already Written To You By The Post To Tell You That I Shall Be

Happy To See You _Whenever You Choose;_ That I Suppose Is Equivalent

To _Very Soon;_ And That You May No Longer Feel Doubts Or Suspicions

On My Account, I Repeat The Invitation By A Packet As Less Dilatory

Than The Mail; But For All These Doubts And Suspicions I Will Take

Ample Revenge When We Meet.

 

 

I Yesterday Received Your Letter Of The 26Th Of December, And Am

Expecting Your Defence Of Early Marriages To-Day. My Father Laughs At

My Impatience To Hear From You, And Says I Am In Love; But I Do Not

Believe That To Be A Fair Deduction, For The Post Is Really Very

Irregular And Slow--Enough So To Provoke Anybody.

 

 

We Leave This For Albany On The 26Th Inst., And Shall Remain There

Till The 10Th February. My Movements Will After That Depend Upon My

Father And _You_. I Had Intended Not To Marry This Twelvemonth, And In

That Case Thought It Wrong To Divert You From Your Present Engagements

In Carolina; But To Your Solicitations I Yield My Judgment. Adieu. I

Wish You Many Returns Of The Century.

 

 

14Th January.

 

 

I Have Not Yet Received Your Promised Letter; But I Hope It May Be

Long In Proportion To The Time I Have Been Expecting It. The Packet

Has Been Delayed By Head-Winds, But Now That They Are Fair She Will

Have A Quick Passage; At Least Such I Wish It. Adieu, Encore.

 

 

Theodosia.

Chapter XVIII Pg 412

Joseph Alston To Theodosia Burr.

 

 

Charleston, S. C. December 28Th, 1800.

 

 

Aristotle Says "That A Man Should Not Marry Before He Is

Six-And-Thirty:" Pray, Mr. Alston, What Arguments Have You To Oppose

To Such Authority? Hear Me, Miss Burr.

 

 

It Has Always Been My Practice, Whether From A Natural Independence Of

Mind, From Pride, Or What Other Cause I Will Not Pretend To Say, Never

To Adopt The Opinion Of Any One, However Respectable His Authority,

Unless Thoroughly Convinced By His Arguments; The "Ipse Dixit," As

Logicians Term It, Even Of Cicero, Who Stands Higher In My Estimation

Than Any Other Author, Would Not Have The Least Weight With Me; You

Must Therefore, Till You Offer Better Reasons In Support Of His

Opinion Than The Grecian Sage Himself Has Done, Excuse My Differing

From Him.

 

 

Objections To Early Marriages Can Rationally Only Arise From Want Of

Discretion Or Want Of Fortune In The Parties; Now, As You Very Well

Observe, The Age Of Discretion Is Wholly Uncertain, Some Men Reaching

It At Twenty, Others At Thirty, Some Again Not Till Fifty, And Many

Not At All; Of Course, To Fix Such Or Such A Period As The Proper One

For Marrying, Is Ridiculous. Even The Want Of Fortune Is To Be

Considered Differently, According To The Country Where The Marriage Is

To Take Place; For Though In Some Places A Fortune Is Absolutely

Necessary To A Man Before He Marries, There Are Others, As In The

Eastern States For Example, Where He Marries Expressly For The Purpose

Of Making A Fortune.

 

 

But, Allowing Both These Objections Their Full Force, May There Not Be

A Single Case That They Do Not Reach? Suppose (_For Instance, Merely_)

A Young Man Nearly Two-And-Twenty, Already Of The _Greatest_

Discretion, With An Ample Fortune, Were To Be Passionately In Love

With A Young Lady Almost Eighteen, Equally Discreet With Himself, And

Who Had A "Sincere Friendship" For Him, Do You Think It Would Be

Necessary To Make Him Wait Till Thirty? Particularly Where The Friends

On Both Sides Were Pleased With The Match.

 

 

Were I To Consider The Question Personally, Since You Allow That

"Individual Character" Ought To Be Consulted, No Objection Clearly

Could Be Made To My Marrying Early.

 

 

From My Father'S Plan Of Education For Me, I May Properly Be Called A

Hot-Bed Plant. Introduced From My Infancy Into The Society Of Men,

While Yet A Boy I Was Accustomed To Think And Act Like A Man. On Every

Occasion, However Important, I Was Left To Decide For Myself; I Do Not

Recollect A Single Instance Where I Was Controlled Even By Advice; For

It Was My Father'S Invariable Maxim, That The Best Way Of

Strengthening The Judgment Was To Suffer It To Be Constantly

Exercised. Before Seventeen I Finished My College Education; Before

Twenty I Was Admitted To The Bar. Since That Time I Have Been

Constantly Travelling Through Different Parts Of The United States; To

What Purpose I Leave You To Determine.

 

 

From This Short Account Of Myself You May Judge Whether My Manners And

Sentiments Are Not, By This Time, In Some Degree Formed.

 

 

But Let Us Treat The Subject Abstractedly; And, As We Have Shown That

Under Particular Circumstances No Disadvantages Result From Early

Marriages, Let Us See If Any Positive Advantages Attend Them.

 

 

Happiness In The Marriage State, You Will Agree With Me, Can Only Be

Obtained From The Most Complete Congeniality Of Mind And Disposition,

And The Most Exact Similarity Of Habits And Pursuits; Now, Though

Their Natures May Generally Resemble, No Two Persons Can Be Entirely

Of The Same Mind And Disposition, The Same Habits And Pursuits, Unless

After The Most Intimate And Early Association; I Say Early, For It Is

In Youth Only The Mind And Disposition Receive The Complexion We Would

Give Them; It Is Then Only That Our Habits Are Moulded Or Our Pursuits

Directed As We Please; As We Advance In Life They Become Fixed And

Unchangeable, And Instead Of Our Governing Them, Govern Us. Is It Not

_Therefore_ Better, Upon Every Principle Of Happiness, That Persons

Should Marry Young, When, Directed By Mutual Friendship, Each Might

Assimilate To The Other, Than Wait Till A Period When Their Passions,

Their Prejudices, Their Habits, &C. Become So Rooted That There

Neither Exists An Inclination Nor Power To Correct Them? Dr. Franklin,

A Very Strong Advocate For My System, And, I Think, At Least As Good

Authority As Aristotle, Very Aptly Compares Those Who Marry Early To

Two Young Trees Joined Together By The Hand Of The Gardener;

  "Trunk Knit With Trunk, And Branch With Branch Intwined,

  Advancing Still, More Closely They Are Join'D;

  At Length, Full Grown, No Difference We See,

  But, 'Stead Of Two, Behold A Single Tree!" [1]

 

 

Those, On The Other Hand, Who Do Not Marry Till Late, Say "Thirty,"

For Example, He Likens To Two Ancient Oaks;

 

 

  "Use All Your Force, They Yield Not To Your Hand,

  But Firmly In Their Usual Stations Stand;

  While Each, Regardless Of The Other'S Views,

  Stubborn And Fix'D, It'S Natural Bent Pursues!" [2]

 

 

But This Is Not All; It Is In Youth That We Are Best Fitted To Enjoy

That Exquisite Happiness Which The Marriage State Is Capable Of

Affording, And The Remembrance Of Which Forms So Pleasing A Link In

That Chain Of Friendship That Binds To Each Other Two Persons Who Have

Lived Together Any Number Of Years. Our Ideas Are Then More Refined;

Every Generous And Disinterested Sentiment Beats Higher; And Our

Sensibility Is Far More Alive To Every Emotion Our Associate May Feel.

Depend Upon It, The Man Who Does Not Love Till "Thirty" Will Never,

Never Love; Long Before That Period, He Will Become Too Much Enamoured

Of His Own Dear Self To Think Of Transferring His Affections To Any

Other Object. He May Marry, But Interest Alone Will Direct Him In The

Choice Of His Wife; Far From Regarding Her As The Sweetest Friend And

Companion Of His Life, He Will Consider Her But As An Unavoidable

Encumbrance Upon The Estate She Brings Him. And Can You Really Hope,

My Theodosia, With All Your Ingenuity, To Convince Me That Such A

Being Will Enjoy Equal Happiness In Marriage With Me? With Me, About

To Enter Into It With Such Rapture; Who Anticipate So Perfect A

_Heaven_ From Our Uniting In Every Study, Improving Our Minds

Together, And Informing Each Other By Our Mutual Assistance And

Observations? No--I Give You Full Credit For Your Talents, But There

Are Some Causes So Bad That Even You Cannot Support Them.

 

 

Enough, However, Of This Topic Till We Meet; I Have Already Given You

A Volume Of Nonsense Upon It.

 

 

Now For The Fable, I Cannot Call It Description, Your "Dear Friends"

Have Given You Of This State. "The Country," They Say, Because Of The

Marshy Grounds, "Is Rendered Continually Unhealthy With Fever And

Agues." One Would Really Conclude From This That We Were A Good

Representation Of A Meeting Of _Shaking Quakers_. Alas! Beautiful And

Romantic Hills Of Carolina, Which The Delighted Traveller So Often

Stops To Admire; Fair And Fertile Plains Interspersed With Groves Of

The Orange, The Lemon, And The Myrtle, Which Fling Such Healthful

Fragrance To The Air, Where Are Ye Fled? Has Some Earthquake, Some

Sudden And Dreadful Concussion Of Nature, Ingulfed You? No! You Still

Remain For The Delight And Ornament Of Our Country; You Have Lost

Existence Only In The Imagination Of Some Beau Or Belle Of New-York;

Who, Ignorant Of The Geography And Appearance Of The Most Celebrated

States, Believes Every Other Place Except The Park And The Battery A

Desert Or A Marsh. But Let Us Proceed:--"As To Charleston, An Annual

Epidemic, Joined To The Yells Of Whipped Negroes, Which Assail Your

Ears From Every House, And The Extreme Heat, Make It A Perfect

Purgatory!" What! Is Charleston, The Most Delightfully Situated City

In America, Which, Entirely Open To The Ocean, Twice In Every

Twenty-Four Hours Is Cooled By The Refreshing Seabreeze, The

Montpelier Of The South, Which Annually Affords An Asylum To The

Planter And The West-Indian From Every Disease, Accused Of Heat And

Unhealthiness?--Island Of Calypso, Where Reigned Perpetual Spring! May

We Not, After This, Expect Thy Flower-Enamelled Fields To Be

Metamorphosed Into Dreary Wastes Of Snow, And The Sweet Concerts Of

The Feathered Choir, Which Elysionized Thy Woods, Converted Into The

Howling Of The Tiger, Or The Horrid Bark Of

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