Twisted Image, Jacob Long [best classic romance novels txt] 📗

giving him a list of random words, paired with equally random responses, he responded correctly to each prompt without fail. It must have been, and still is, horrible to carry around all of those memories with him. No doubt the weight of them contributed to his finally cracking under all of the pressure. I wonder if Desmond has the same ability. I don’t see why not but I also don’t really see why. This has never really been studied before. If I really do cure Desmond, it will be the loss of a unique and fascinating subject; and one that epitomizes a lot of uncovered ground that’s never even been considered before.
There’s a big part of me that doesn’t have the courage to test Desmond too, so I won’t. It is immaterial anyway.
Geez, a retentive memory in the hands of someone like Desmond would mean that when someone wrongs him he would never forget…and never forgive.


March 7, 2011

I found out today that Desmond doesn’t think much of me. He feels that I am under-qualified to work with the handicapped, deficient, depraved, and insane. According to him, a person teaching mental health should have better mental health themselves. I always thought I was fine but he says that’s what every crazy person thinks. If that’s what every crazy person thinks, then where is the real line between sanity and insanity? Having never been told, someone could just live their lives out like that, never hurting anyone and…I’m letting him get to me. Mr. Sprink warned me he could be tricky. It seems the only logical conclusion to that line of thought is that crazy people could be left alone and wouldn’t “need” treatment if people were only a little more tolerant. In that case I’d be out of a job and Desmond would be really satisfied with himself, I’m sure.
Anyway, he went on to say that I’m not honest with myself emotionally, socially, spiritually, or sexually. Maybe I’m not, but I don’t think anyone is completely honest with themselves about those things. I think I was the one being shrunk today.
At least I’ve considered the idea. Desmond, on the other hand, needs to get a grip. I shouldn’t be thinking this way about my patient. I’m going to get some sleep. I feel kind of funny tonight.


March 8, 2011


Dr. Benes dropped by today. I suppose he just wanted to see how I was doing. It seemed more to me though that he wanted a chance to dissect Lance for himself. He soon found out he was actually talking to Desmond. I let it happen. I wanted to know how Desmond would handle it.
At first it was less fantastic than I thought it would be. Dr. Benes asked him a bunch of mundane questions that I had already asked, but then things got really interesting. Desmond started asking a lot of questions about Dr. Benes’ family. He asked Dr. Benes if he ever hit his wife. To my surprise, he answered “Yes.” When asked if he ever seriously fantasized about leaving his wife and children he answered, “Yes.” I became appalled when he said that more often then not he quote, “Hated those little snot faucets” and wished he’d worn a condom.
Soon Desmond was successfully convincing him that he was the problem and not them. I could have told him that; still, I’m amazed at Desmond’s intelligence and power over people. He was making Dr. Benes dance like a marionette. I probably should have stopped it, but my morbid fascination got the best of me.
Desmond went on to say that Dr. Benes’ family needed a reprieve; that he needed to apologize for everything. After their talk Dr. Benes left without another word. It was all so bizarre. I have new respect for Desmond’s intelligence and creativity. Well, fear and respect.


March 9, 2011

I got some horrible news this morning. Paul informed me that Dr. Benes killed himself in his home last night. He put a hunting rifle in his mouth and pulled the trigger. I didn’t like the man, but now I wonder what’s going to happen to my project. He was the board’s liaison and without him…
I’ve decided not to tell Lance about this. I don’t know how it would affect him and he doesn’t need any distractions right now.


March 10, 2011

I think Lance is starting to open up more. He can actually be funny and quite charming. I wonder if he was always like that or if he picked it up from Desmond. Not that Desmond is charming. Of course it’s all Lance.
On top of all the bad moments, Lance can remember happy moments too, still. Some of his stories are very interesting and amusing. I like his smile. He’s adorable when he smiles. I made sure he knew that before we quit today.


March 11, 2011

I made a startling revelation today. But this can’t be true. Gosh, but there’s no other explanation for it though! Three days ago, when Dr Benes came in, Desmond was talking to him. I let it go. My curiosity got the best of me and I wondered how Desmond would react to an outsider like Dr. Benes dissecting him. It seemed to me that they were only talking about Desmond’s life at first. After that the conversation turned to Dr. Benes’ life. For some reason Desmond was really curious about his family. They started talking about Dr. Benes’ relationship with his wife and children. Desmond was asking him some very personal questions and I’m surprised that Dr. Benes even responded at all. What surprised me more though, were his answers. Apparently Dr. Benes was very short with his family and would often assault them verbally and sometimes even physically. He thought very unfatherly things of them. It’s natural for family members to hate each other sometimes; but it sounded like Dr. Benes hated them all the time. He was even disgusted by them.
Anyway, it’s a moot point. At the end Desmond seemed to be making Dr. Benes feel repentant for his thoughts and actions. I’ve never written about this before, because I didn’t think it pertinent, but right before Dr. Benes left, Desmond said something to him. He said “You know what you have to do.” That night Dr. Benes committed suicide. Paul informed me that Dr. Benes had taken his own life the next morning.
I decided to keep this from Lance and Desmond. Nevertheless, today Desmond was musing at the thought of convincing me to take my clothes off. It came up when we were talking about his past incidents; having convinced nurses and guards alike to give him concessions and even to release him from the wards he’s been confined to. It all sounded silly to me and I told him so. However, when I did he said to me, “Why not? I convinced that bitch-ass doctor to commit suicide, didn’t I?”
Could Desmond’s intelligence have engineered even this? Somehow I don’t find it hard to believe. I must find a scientific way to test this theory. Can Desmond toy with people’s minds and convince them to do whatever he wants? I will find out for sure tomorrow.


March 12, 2011

This is more frightening than I ever thought possible. It sounds insane but whoever is reading this, you must believe me. Desmond is not just clever; he has power over people’s minds!
Today I came up with a plan to test his influence over people. Since yesterday he was talking about convincing me to undress, I told Paul to take a break and challenged him to do it. He told me to close my eyes and go into a meditative state. Desmond and I had been doing meditation for a while and I’d begun to believe I’d become quite good at it. After a few seconds he told me to open my eyes. I had to check if my clothes were already off. They weren’t. An hour passed and Paul came back. My clothes still weren’t off, so I dismissed Desmond’s claims of having basically murdered Dr. Benes.
Then things got strange. Paul came in and told me I had a man waiting for me outside. I went outside the warehouse to talk to him. Apparently he was from an “adult entertainment” magazine of some kind. I can’t remember exactly which one. My details are kind of sketchy. Anyway, he told me he wanted to shoot me for a pictorial in his magazine. I don’t think I’ve ever even considered the idea before now, but it’s sort of every woman’s dream to be the subject of man’s fantasies. Do I think really think that? I just don’t know anymore.
Long story short, I agreed. Before I knew it, I was in his studio posing for him. I was enjoying myself; laughing and smiling. But the next thing I knew Paul was shaking me awake. To my extreme embarrassment, I was back in the therapy room, lying on top of the table, completely naked. Apparently I’d been undressed and posing in risqué positions for Desmond for quite some time. That was when I knew Desmond was more than just a man. He has some sort of strange power over the mind.
Paul was furious at Desmond but I told him to return to the surveillance room. He obeyed without seriously hurting him. Desmond of course thought the whole scene was hilarious. I got dressed again as fast as I could and gave him a sound scolding. He’s right though. I did ask for it.
This explains a few things; like how I’ve been able to have trance-like visions during my meditations when I’ve never been able to before. How Lance and Desmond constantly catch me in lies and how they seem to always know what the truth really is. I can’t decide if Desmond’s ease at finding two suitors to join him in his sexual escapades the day he revealed himself to the world is more or less impressive. This also translates to my dreams and the strange emotions I have at strange times. Perhaps it also explains how sometimes Desmond seems to speak with two voices at once. Maybe that’s a clue. Maybe that’s how I can tell when he’s doing it.
Mr. Sprik was right too. It is my open mind that makes me vulnerable to Desmond. Whatever. No longer. I won’t let him victimize me again.


March 13, 2011

Today Desmond told me he is tired of my “treatment.” He said I have no idea what it’s like to be insane; to feel hopeless. He says I can’t possibly begin to sympathize with the insane and I have no place meddling in their affairs.
I, of course, told him he probably just doesn’t remember what it’s like to be sane. He took this as a challenge. Tomorrow we’re going to start a new kind of head game I guess. I’m going to try to cure Lance of his split personality and Desmond is apparently going to try to…drive me insane.
I’m a bit frightened though. Desmond felt that we didn’t have to continue with a referee. He proceeded to convince Paul that he should leave the warehouse and forget all about the place. It happened so fast. Desmond didn’t even seem to break a (mental) sweat in doing so. He said it was because Paul was “all brawn and no brains.”
I hope I can withstand Desmond’s manipulation. If mental prowess is a measure of defense, then I like to think I have a chance. Let the games begin.


March 14, 2011

Strange dreams last night. I wonder if this is Desmond already working his magic.
No matter. I have a plan of my own. I