Whiskey Witches, F.J. Blooding [ap literature book list .TXT] 📗

Dexx grinned as he re-set the driver’s seat. He pushed it a tad further back than he was used to. He made sure he could still reach the pedals, then started the long trek back to the inn.

Paige kept to herself, but she was far from the wreck he’d witnessed minutes before. Cool, calm and collected.

“You realize you smell like an ashtray, right?” He kept her in his peripheral as he eased away from the last stop sign in town.

“Yeah. My mouth feels like an ashtray.” She rubbed her tongue along her teeth with a yuck-face. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“I do.”

Jackie rolled out of the little town and onto the two-lane highway. Towering trees festooned with choking ivy lined the road for as far as the eye could see. Forty-one miles could feel like a lifetime unless they figured out something to talk about.

He looked in his rearview mirror and got an eye-full of Lucius. “So, Luce.”

His black, beady eyes bored into Dexx’s.

Dexx smiled, enjoying the obvious distaste the man-demon had for the nickname. After what he’d put Paige through, it was the least Dexx could do. “Luce, what more can you tell us about this fabulous gate, the key, and how to keep everything closed?”

Lucius shifted his attention to the window next to him.

“He’s a bit shy,” Balnore said cheerfully, wedged between Lucius and Alma. “Has been ever since he was a small boy. He’s got a lot to learn about how to communicate properly.” He emphasized those last two words directly into Lucius’ ear.

“I communicate fine, thank you.”

Balnore raised his eyebrows and snuggled in. “That’s apparent. If you’d communicated clearer, perhaps these guys wouldn’t’ve been so keen to kick you back to Hell.”

“I challenge you to do better. That place was a bloody trap. No way in. No way out. No one to talk to. No way to get a message off.”

Dexx made sure to pay most of his attention on the road. “So how’d Mike and Malika find you?”

“Mike and?” A confused frowned furrowed Lucius’ face. “Right. The witch and her boyfriend. I don’t know. Possibly through Sven.”

Paige’s wandering fingers stilled.

“Wait,” Dexx said. “Wasn’t that who you thought this was before we found out it was Lucius?”

She nodded.

“Who and what is Sven?” Alma asked.

“Sven Seven Tails.” Paige pressed her knuckled into her lips.

“He’s a trickster,” Balnore added. “An evil trickster. His main goal is to create mayhem.”

“So he’s not a cuddly demon,” Dexx said.

“Cuddly?” Balnore met Dexx’s gaze in the rearview mirror. “Demons aren’t cuddly.”

“I thought you were all about healing and shit.”

“No. We’re about getting you morons to accept responsibility for your own damned actions.”

“Oh. I think I hit a nerve.”

“Dexx.” Paige took in a deep breath and let it out. “How many assholes can we fit in one car?”

Dexx sucked air between his lips and his teeth, his eyes to the roof, pretending to count. “Many?”

Balnore didn’t add anything.

“Seven Tails,” Lucius said with his British lilt, “has always been about bringing destruction. He thinks of you humans as play things.”

“You humans.” Dexx snorted. “You’re a human.”

“Who’s lived a hundred and fifty years? I think I’m a bit more than a mere mortal, don’t you?”

“Rub it in.”

“Dexx,” Paige said.

“Yes, nag. So do we have a better idea what we’re walking into now?”

“Oh, definitely.” Lucius thumped in the seat, glaring at Balnore. “Do we have to ride in this infernal contraption?”

“Can you teleport without command?” Balnore asked, his eyes closed.

“Ms. Whiskey,” Lucius said, “would do us the very great honor of commanding me out of this ghastly car?”

“No.”

“Ghastly?” Dexx mouthed.

Paige shook her head, her expression dry. “What should we be searching for? Right now, we know about Jones and Malika.”

“This is getting confusing,” Alma said. She sat in the corner Dexx couldn’t see. “Why can’t you just call him Mike like everyone else? And don’t say the word ‘civilian.’ I’m sick and tired of hearing you throw that word around.”

“Well, it’s true. I’ll try to remember to refer to him by his first name. He’s a disgrace to the Force anyway.”

“That he is.” Dexx didn’t usually have anything good to say about cops, but he respected them. They went out there, risked their lives every day. As long as they weren’t working occult cases, they were heroes. Plain and simple. “Con-de-sending.”

Paige took a second to replay what he said. Once she got it, she snorted. “That was bad.”

Lucius frowned at them.

“Look, Luce, if I have to explain every joke and one-liner to you, you’re going to bring down the fun factor.”

Extreme dead pan filled the rearview mirror.

“I didn’t get that one,” Alma grumbled.

Dexx let his head fall against the seat. “Right. So, Luce, what can you tell us that we don’t already know?”

“The key is in three parts.”

“Three parts as in broken or three parts as in made that way?”

“Broken. A long time ago, things went all to cock.”

“All to what?”

“Seriously, if I have to explain everything I say, hunter, you’re going to bring the fun factor down.”

“Oof.” Okay. Score one for the demon.

“Someone took the key and released Hell on Earth. The demons rose and for years, the two forces battled each other for dominance. Let us say, things went balls up in a big way.”

“Right.” British slang in the backseat. Who needed Graham Norton? “Only none of that’s in the history books.”

“You don’t think so? Are you really such a cabbage? Demons and angels are embedded in your history. Every war. Every miracle. We’re there.”

Did he seriously call Dexx a cabbage? “All right. So someone opened the gate and big bad came out. So what?”

“My brethren and I fought to seal the gate, and in so doing, the key shattered.”

“They can’t use it then. This whole key thing is a waste.”

“I had thought so.” Lucius paused.

Concentrating on the road, something quippy failed to rise to Dexx’s tongue.

“Gabriel bound me between realms for a reason. The witch discovered a way to at least partially open the gate for short periods of time.”

“The ghost,” Dexx said.

“All those demons,” Alma said.

“The demons could have been gathering over the past several years,” Paige said, her voice harsh. “After all, they knew how to get up here before someone started messing around with the key, and I wasn’t around to send them all back when their jobs were done.”

“How does that work?” Dexx asked, stretching his one good shoulder. The other one throbbed, giving him a headache. He’d probably overdone it. The doc had said to rest it. Granted, he wasn’t working as hard as he normally did, but he didn’t think the doctor would have called this resting either. “I mean, how do you guys come up here without the use of the gate?”

“Man’s soul is their doorway,” Paige said.

“And why can’t angels use this doorway?” Dexx asked.

“Who says they don’t?” Balnore grunted. “It helps our guardians were missing in action. One of their primary duties is to keep track of the demons’ walkings.”

“’Walkings,’” Dexx mouthed, his eyebrows raised. “So why’d you bind Paige?”

“I was talking about Lucius. Paige is a summoner.”

“But she said that’s what she was doing.”

“Only because we couldn’t find the real guardians.”

“There are thirteen of us,” Lucius said. “Having one disappear should not have been a prob—”

“There were thirteen of you,” Balnore corrected. “You’re the only one we’ve found.”

Alarm fluttered across Lucius’ face. “The last?”

“Hard to say if you’re the last. You all disappeared at about the same time. After you were gone, Lucifer shut himself off from everyone.”

“So what you’re saying is Hell has gone to the dogs.” Dexx chuckled. “That’s funny. I mean, really.”

“This could be bad,” Paige said.

“Yes,” Balnore acknowledged.

“Bad how?” Alma asked.

“The last demon I talked to mentioned something stirring in Hell.” Paige put her fingertips to the rain dotted window. “However, with Lucifer in control, I knew it couldn’t get too bad. He maintains order. Without it, the demons are…” She trailed off with a shrug.

“Ambling around without a leader,” Dexx finished.

Paige pursed her lips and nodded. “But that also means someone is vying for power. Someone has probably already started working to gain enough prestige to take the throne right out of Lucifer’s control.”

“That can’t be good.”

“No.” Paige stretched her legs as much as she could. “And with the guardians gone?”