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go handle some business so I have to get off this phone.”
“Alright Papi.”

"You love me La?"

"You know I do Sysco."

"Well say it..."

"Yo te quiero Papi"

“Whew!! I love it when you say it in Spanish! I love you too beautiful, get some rest."

I woke up the next morning feeling sluggish even though I had slept till noon. Eventually after lounging around for a few hours I called Sysco and when he answered the phone I could tell something was wrong, “What’s wrong baby? Did something happen at court?”

“Not really but I just ran into that punk ass Doe and we had some words. But get this shit La, I come out to my car right and all my tires are slashed! I swear I’m going to kill that…”

He started rambling in Spanish so fast that I could barely make out the curse words.

“Sysco, calm down. Speak English, what exactly happened?”

“We both walking out the courthouse at the same time, right? So I go in the bathroom just so I don’t have to even see his face because you know I will lose it and the courthouse obviously ain’t the place. I walked out and he blocking the door, we just standing there man to man. To anyone looking on it probably looked like we were taking or something. He standing like two inches away from my face, so I step back into the bathroom and he followed me. So I said, what’s up Doe, what you want to do? I’ll go to jail but let’s just get it done. So he swung on me La, then I got one in… Then a cop walked in so we acting like ain’t shit going on and then he got in my face and said some shit like he own me or something. I spit in his face and then he said, I’ll let you get that one… but I’ll get the next and the last one, and walked out the bathroom. That was it. Now I come out here and all my goddamn tires are flat.”

“Oh no Sysco, you said yawl had some words not a fight? This is bad and all because of my damn mother?”

“Hell nah mommy, you know me and Doe ain’t never been on good terms and since my numbers are better than his, he wants to get at me. This really ain’t got shit to do with your mother, just about dollars. I don’t even want to talk about Doe anymore. Let me get this tire thing sorted out then I’m going to swoop you up so you can hear these beats. It’s going to be a few hours so be ready, let’s go to the show and out to eat or something. We not going to make it to the studio today, I just want to chill with you anyway. Is that cool?”
“Yeah that’s cool. I’ll be waiting for you. But what if Doe come back?”

“La La! You doubting me, you questioning whether I can handle mine? Fuck Doe!”
“Sysco, no, I’m just worried, I don’t want nothing to happen. I know you can take care of yourself.”

“Don’t you worry about that shit. I’m going to be alright, don’t ever worry about me. I have dealt with worse than Doe. I don’t ever want to hear you worry. You understand?”

“Yes, I understand. I’ll be ready when you get here. Bye Sysco.”

“La La!”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“Yo te quiero Papi.”

Even though Sysco had told me not to worry, I was worried and I began to feel angry at my mother again so I went over to her house to yell at her and tell her the trouble she caused but when I walked through her door I could see Daisha sleeping on the couch and Sunny sleeping on the floor with a cigarette burning next to her in an ash tray inches away from her hair. I went over to put it out and I began to stare at my mother sleeping. She looked so peaceful, and even though her face was scared and her hair was messy, she was still beautiful. I laid next to her for a while and just watched her sleep. As angry as she could make me and as disappointed as I was in her, watching her made me remember just how much I loved her. She looked helpless and hopeless as she laid there and most of all she looked harmless. As I rubbed her fine little baby hairs and gently tried to put her other fly away hairs in place, all I could think about was wanting to see her at her best and wanting to forgive her. Then over my mother I could see Daisha laying on the couch, and even in her sleep she was somehow guarding and protecting my mother, pretending that she didn’t need to be guarded and protected herself. There I was, awake and alert watching over the both of them, this little scene was the big picture of how we lived our lives.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a horn and my cell phone vibrating. It was Sysco letting me know he was outside. I slipped out the door and locked it behind me and secretly prayed and asked God to keep them safe until I returned.

Sysco and I had a great day, we went out to eat and to the movies and he must have spent five thousand dollars between the both of us at the mall, and we even snuck in a quickie in a department store dressing room. For the first time in a long time I wasn’t thinking about my mother or Daisha or looking over my shoulder and it felt so good to be carefree for a change with my man.

I felt myself becoming sad as we approached the neighborhood. I didn’t want to go back, at least not so soon but it was late and I had school in the morning. As we pulled into my driveway and I saw that Niecee’s car wasn’t there, I was pleasantly reminded that she wouldn’t be home until the following evening so I begged Sysco to put aside his business for the night and stay with me. For some reason that night I didn’t have to beg much at all. It was weird because Sysco never put his business aside and even more so he never turned off his phone but this night he did.
When we made love, it seemed to be more passionate than ever, maybe because everything in our lives seemed to be more intense, from him finishing his demo and it being on the table of some record exec to his altercation with Doe. When things were rough he was who I turned to and vice verse, we were in a way all we had.

Before we fell asleep that night we talked about the big house we would have in some city where it’s warm all the time. Also, how no matter what we were doing or where we were performing, we promised each other that we would always drop everything to be there when the other needed it. We talked about all the things we would do with our money. Most of all we talked about how it would feel to be on stage and to be able to do what we loved most. We fell asleep in the middle of our dreams, and in each other’s arms under the promise that no matter what, we would always be together.

The next morning I woke up before my alarm clock went off and Sysco had already left. It took everything I had in me to get out of bed because nothing in me wanted to start this day. However, I managed to pull myself together and go to school.

I had two more classes to go and I was counting down the minutes until I could go home. I stopped to put some things in my locker when Daisha snuck up behind me and scared the mess out of me, “Damn girl, are you having evil thoughts you nearly jumped out of your shoes.”

“Daisha you are as quiet as a ghost, you’d scare anyone.”

“Your outfit is cute, is that new?”

“Yeah Sysco bought if for me yesterday.”

“Yeah and you sure have a way of thanking him. I heard you thanking him for about three hours straight last night!”

“Ah shut up! I thought you were going to stay at Sunny’s house all night,” I said blushing.

As Daisha and I were walking down the hall talking, I noticed this Puerto Rican chick named Osha staring at me along with about five other girls. I had seen her around but we never spoke, I didn’t know her to have a problem with her so I didn’t understand why I was getting dog stares from her and her girls all of a sudden. Apparently, this day I was on her radar for some reason and she had that look in her eyes like she was coming for me. I could feel trouble brewing but I just tried to walk past her and not acknowledge her or any of her girls. However, she stopped me by grabbing my arm and said, “Did I hear you say Sysco bought you that outfit?”

“Business?” I said snatching away from her and continued down the hall.

She laughed and spoke loud enough so that I could hear her, “That’s Sysco’s main bitch but I wonder does she know about how he loves climbing into my bed. She think what she got is special but you not special bitch you just the first bitch, bitch!”

Her words were awakening the beast in me and her voice seemed to be in stereo in my ear. It took everything in me to not turn around and mop the floor with her because she was calling me out for no reason but I also felt a little proud of myself because I managed to keep walking. Then she ran up behind me and asked, “Did you hear what I said, you think you special? You weren’t special last night while I was pushing his face all up in my chocha.”

“Whatever, yeah I guess I wasn’t special.”

I tried to walk away again but she stepped in front of me and said, “What did you say?”
“You heard me, he wasn’t with you because he was with me all day and night. So whosever face you were pushing all up in your chocha, wasn’t Sysco’s. You sound dumb, dumb ass.”
With that she threw her red pop on me and on queue Daisha started crying and I lost it. Osha and I must have fought for 2 seconds before security grabbed us.

We were allowed to finish our last two classes and for the rest of day I walked around with a big red stain on my new clothes and every time I looked down at it I got mad but I just wanted to go home or better yet to the studio where I could sing out all of the tension and drama of that day. However, the funny thing was under normal circumstances I would have hit that bitch for just looking at me wrong but I really wanted to change. I was thinking about my future CD cover and I didn’t want to have to be drowned in
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