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author - "Barry Rachin"

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Sylvia Mandelstam will tell you what a wonderful time she had at the Russian literary symposium in Moscow. The trip was an unmitigated fiasco not unlike her personal life. Sylvia can lie shamelessly - even to Danny O'Rourke, the unassuming mason who arrives to repair her damaged brick wall. But not indefinitely.

Phillip’s infuriatingly cute Cousin Katy treats him like a cross between a cuddly lapdog and a younger sibling.

Mr. Chen’s shiatsu has a level-three heart murmur. Living on a fixed income, the widower can't afford the added expense of a sick dog. The agoraphobic Ada Goldfarb, whose son, Robert, is a veterinarian, needs an escort to her grandson's bar mitzvah. Maybe they can work things out.

Calvin's Shih Tzu, Teddy, has a weak bladder and suffers from irritable bowel syndrome. The foul tempered pooch is also food aggressive. This weekend, Calvin is dragging the dysfunctional beast to a barbecue at his future in-laws.

Marcie Callahan’s parents run around the house in their underwear; they belch and fart and do all sorts of gross and disgusting things. They don't have a stitch of class or culture or brains or social graces. Which is why Marcie is ready for a change.

Among the Old Orchard Beach cognoscenti, Cassie Moffat was considered town slut. Whether her lurid reputation was justified or not wasn't really open for debate.

"Mr. Jacobson sniffs little girls' bicycle seats," eight year old Benjamin Carter announced cavalierly as though the topic made for polite dinner conversation.

A year out of high school, Clarissa, who couldn't even score a date for the senior prom, is into tantric sex, Pablo Neruda and orgasms bordering on divine rapture. And she's still a virgin!

Ralph Tucker is dating a woman who wears Orvis, genuine hornback crocodile belts. If the romance blossoms, he’s going to need a second job.

Sylvia Mandelstam will tell you what a wonderful time she had at the Russian literary symposium in Moscow. The trip was an unmitigated fiasco not unlike her personal life. Sylvia can lie shamelessly - even to Danny O'Rourke, the unassuming mason who arrives to repair her damaged brick wall. But not indefinitely.

Phillip’s infuriatingly cute Cousin Katy treats him like a cross between a cuddly lapdog and a younger sibling.

Mr. Chen’s shiatsu has a level-three heart murmur. Living on a fixed income, the widower can't afford the added expense of a sick dog. The agoraphobic Ada Goldfarb, whose son, Robert, is a veterinarian, needs an escort to her grandson's bar mitzvah. Maybe they can work things out.

Calvin's Shih Tzu, Teddy, has a weak bladder and suffers from irritable bowel syndrome. The foul tempered pooch is also food aggressive. This weekend, Calvin is dragging the dysfunctional beast to a barbecue at his future in-laws.

Marcie Callahan’s parents run around the house in their underwear; they belch and fart and do all sorts of gross and disgusting things. They don't have a stitch of class or culture or brains or social graces. Which is why Marcie is ready for a change.

Among the Old Orchard Beach cognoscenti, Cassie Moffat was considered town slut. Whether her lurid reputation was justified or not wasn't really open for debate.

"Mr. Jacobson sniffs little girls' bicycle seats," eight year old Benjamin Carter announced cavalierly as though the topic made for polite dinner conversation.

A year out of high school, Clarissa, who couldn't even score a date for the senior prom, is into tantric sex, Pablo Neruda and orgasms bordering on divine rapture. And she's still a virgin!

Ralph Tucker is dating a woman who wears Orvis, genuine hornback crocodile belts. If the romance blossoms, he’s going to need a second job.