foot of an eye, anon [popular romance novels txt] 📗

Baurra Wartha is Bev Maureen Bertha Von Straggen's best friend. Earl Regal Von Straggens is Bev Maureen's twin brother.
They do not look alike as Bev Maureen is EXTREMELY unattractive while her brother is quite handsome.
One day while the oranges were falling off the orange trees, Bev Maureen thought about her ugliness and how she can ever overcome it.
She closed her pimply eyes and thought for a while. The words; "Foot's Eye Land." traveled through her ugly mind and soul. It made her stomach vibrate; it made her lips quiver, for she had seen the most beautiful vision ever! She then opened her small eyes and saw a new beginning of her worthless life. She didn't bother looking at her brother as she left the orange farm.
Down at town, Bev Maureen saw women wearing ball-gowns and leather boots with snakes hung over their shoulders. When the filthy rich women saw the farm girl, they scrunched up their noses and proclaimed, "Oh! What is that AWFUL thing doing here?"
But Bev Maureen smiled. Her crooked yellow teeth peeked out of her mouth. The rich women turned their fancy decorated heads and left.
Bev Maureen's mind was telling her that the Foot Eye's Land was close but yet so far. Sweating with anticipation, Bev Maureen continued her walk and left the town.
She then came across an old hut. This is where Baurra Wartha of Steam lives. Bev Maureen's childhood friend. "OH! Beautiful BAURRA WARTHA OF STEAM! You're childhood friend Bev Maureen Bertha Von Straggens has arrived!"
Bev Maureen could smell the scent of her friend. Baurra's fish perfume filled the air with fish smell. Bev Maureen smiled.
The door opened to the hut and out walked Baurra Wartha. Her straggly hair was filled with old leaves and her nose and a wart filled with white pus. "Kiss my pus and I shall help you."
Bev Maureen touched the cold tip of her friend's nose and gently kissed it.
"There, I have kissed your pus and I would like you to help me go on the journey to the Foot Eye's Land."
Baurra Wartha fell silent and looked at her only friend. "To become prettier; is that your wish my good friend?"
"Oh! Baurra Wartha! Look at me! I'm hideous! My own brother of the same flesh and blood has surpassed me! Oh! I cannot live like this anymore! Even you Baurra Wartha; you too, have surpassed me. Now I'm alone. How will I ever start my own orange farm with another man? I certainly cannot with what I have right now. Now please! Dear Baurra Wartha, my good friend! Oh please! Help me find this land. It will bring happiness for me!"
Baurra Wartha was silent again. Finally, with a determined look on her tired face, Baurra Wartha nodded. "Anything for my good friend whose made a promise with me."
Bev Maureen laughed. It was high pitched ugly troll laugh. Villagers covered their ears as the sound of the laugh passed.
"Thank you Baurra Wartha. We will start the quest as soon as the sun rises over the hills."

Now as Baurra Wartha packed her fish cans; Bev Maureen was thinking about the Foot's Eye Land. Looking down at the river, Bev Maureen saw a hairy man with thick bushy eyebrows and a chunky body figure; the figure's hair was all messy and his skin had on ocean of oily pimples and blackheads. Bev Maureen stared at the figure until Baurra Wartha smacked her with a fish.
"What is it dearest Baurra Wartha?" asked Bev Maureen. Her eyes were still glued onto the river.
"Aren't we going to Foot's Eye Land?" Baurra Wartha looked into Bev Maureen's black eyes.
Bev Maureen nodded. "Yes, we are my dearest friend."
So the two hairy women left the old hut and walked on foot. They walked past mountains with purple lakes and they passed a sign that read: Go further and meet paradise."

Shrugging, the two friends continued walking. Coming across a purple pond filled with rose petals, Bev Maureen spotted something.
A tall thin boy wearing green leaves walked toward them. The boy's skin was dark; he had bright green eyes and brown hair.
Baurra Wartha looked at the stick skinny boy.
"We have come from the Fish Old Hut." announced Bev Maureen.
The boy eyed the two short hairy travelers. One was fat and the other had some muscle. The latter one being Baurra Wartha.
"Why have you come here?" The boy asked. His voice was barely audible; almost like the wind. Bev Maureen could sense that this boy was a Tree Walker.
"Tree Walker, what is the best route to go?" Bev Maureen tugged at her frizzy poop-colored hair.
The boy was silent. Finally he said, "Very good. You have noted me as a Tree Walker; but I cannot tell you the safe route to this realm for it is breaking the rules of the law of this world. I will warn you of the man-eating baby. Now I must go now. I have given you enough help."
The boy turned back to a tree; silent and stiff; with the long skinny branches pointing to a certain way.
Smiling, Bev Maureen walked to that direction with Baurra Wartha close behind.

The two hairy women were talking about Bev Maureen's goal of becoming beautiful when they spotted a pink baby crying in the middle of the spikey thorn road. 

"Poor little creature. It's dying." whispered Baurra Wartha. 

"I can still save it." said Bev Maureen.

Baurra Wartha watched closely as Bev Maureen stepped onto the spikey thorn ground; her feet began to grow even more hideous as more pimples emerged. "There, there. You are safe." Bev Maureen caressed the pink baby's fat face. Suddenly, its skin started to become red and its eyes opened. "GAH!" Bev Maureen cried. The man eating baby dropped onto the spikey thorn road. Tears swelled up in its eyes. Then the anger appeared and the vicious baby flew onto Baurra Wartha's face. "Baurra Wartha! My good friend, I'll save you!" Bev Maureen took the baby off of her best friend's face. The man eating baby stared at the disgusting creature. Its eyes were black and bulging, its tongue was protruding out of its crooked misplaced mouth, an ocean of pimples and blackheads surrounded her face, and there was the frizzy poop-colored hair that topped it all off. Stunned by the ugliness, the man-eating baby faints.

"You put that baby to sleep!" exclaims Baurra Wartha with a partially eaten face.

Bev Maureen smiles. "Yes, with my inner soul and heart."

Baurra Wartha shuddered as Bev Maureen put the ointment on her face. 

"Thank you dear friend." whispers Baurra Wartha.

Text: anon
Images: anon
Editing: anon
Translation: anon
Publication Date: 12-06-2012

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
Maurice the Goat