Please Don't Leave, Nghi Montero-Duong [book club recommendations .txt] 📗

The Bird's Recollections

The flames engulfed the house like a beast that had been starved for centuries. The flames that were reflected in the little girls eyes were also reflected in her tears. She was taken by the many firefighters that surrounded the buildings. The firefighters were trying to tame the red beast and save everyone nearby but, it was now over for the girl because this little girl may have been saved from the fire but not her mind. She was gone and she probably could never be saved.

She must now be a bird that stays in an open cage. For eternity.

My life was tedious. I lived a simple, but wonderful, life. I liked my simple lifestyle. I had never felt any pain or loss. I lived a sheltered life. My parents protected me from harm. My older brothers did the same. This all changed when I had to go to an orphanage.

My family spoiled me too much. They spoiled me to the very end. This was the thought that coursed through my mind every second that I took a step and tried to erase my past.

The Bird In The Small Cage

A fire was started by accident in my house. My family had sacrificed themselves to save me. It was my fault that they died. I was only six years old. This was seven years ago. Everyone said that it was such a terrible thing that such a young child had to experience this, but I knew what they really thought. They thought that I would forget it all in a few weeks. I pretended to forget just to make them feel a sense of correct judgement.

I have a question though. Would you be able to forget your loved ones? Inside my mind I had not forgotten a single thing about my family. I forced myself to to remember every single thing about them, even the bad things. The last memory I had with my family was when I fought with my family for a stupid reason.

It was my birthday and I was mad because my family was coddling me too much. I told them to leave me alone. They did give me my space. It was only when the fire spread when one of my brothers came to my room and carried me outside. He rushed me out the door and went inside to wake the others up. I regret not begging my brother to stay outside with me so much. I wanted to atleast save one of the people I loved.

I miss every little bit of my family. The way I was spoiled and how much of a close knit family we were. My mom, dad and brothers had made a special stuffed animal. It was my favorite animal, a wolf. I still carry it around with me. I can't forget a single thing about my family or else then like a candle being blown at by a strong wind, my memories of them will be snuffed out and my family won't exist. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that my family will be gone forever.

As time goes on I am being consumed by the sadness within me. I want to let go of the memories, so the spirits of my family don't need to worry, but I can't. As I walk down the cold, hard hallway of the orphanage, I wonder if I can keep my eyes dry as everyone glares at me because I had a family and a place to call home while they were left alone weeks after they were born. People say life is a cruel mistress and I couldn't agree with them more.

Life toys with you until it's bored, then you die when it tosses you away. Many people understand this feeling when they grow old, but some people learn this at a young age. Those that do learn this at a young age are very unfortunate. Outside the rain was falling down hard. You could hear the pitter-patter of the drops fall on the windows and roof. The leaks from the roof made the floors wet and slippery, causing my barefooted self to trip over repeatedly. At the sight of me tripping the children started to laugh and whisper.

I was almost alone all of the time. Except when the new kids came, they would talk to me, that is until they heard the rumors of how my parents died. In the rumors I was the one who had set the fire. Apparently I was the troublemaker in my family. I had treated my parents coldly and had burned down the house when I was mad. When hearing all those lies, the kids that talked to me avoided me and stared at me like a wild animal. At this, I had always felt my heart being squeezed by a strong hand resisting to let go.

The Bird Meets A-Could-Be Friend

As the days went on a new staff member was added to the orphanage to help around with the kids. The orphanage had a school so he was sent to work there. In class I was reading a book about a tribe of wolves that were going at war with others. I was reading a fiction novel that was advanced for children my age.

In the classroom many things were happening: a boy was making paper airplanes and throwing them across the classroom, another girl was playing with her friend in the corner of the room, a paper airplane flew across the room and hit the girl in the head, a fight erupts in the class and the door opened, a big bowl of water somehow got involved into the fight and landed right upon the head of the new teacher. Everyone froze. Of course the teacher was looking a bit mad. I mean who wouldn’t be mad about being hit in the head with a bowl, then getting completely drenched from head to toe. I was waiting to see what the teacher was going to say.

For a while I was acting like the other kids thinking, Is he a nice teacher who doesn’t yell at kids even if they do bad things or is he the kind that yells at kids no matter what? These and many other questions were attacking my brain. For once I could not find the answer to this problem. I was sitting there waiting to see how he would react. After waiting a bit he lifted his head to see us. There was a smile planted on his face.

"Now, now children. Sit down in your seats while I get everything ready please." I rested my head on my hand as I waited for this class to start so it could end. All the kids started to sprint towards their seats. He wrote his name on the blackboard, his name was William Aecker. I sat there staring at the name waiting for the roll call to end. His handwriting was neat and readable, with slight smudges because he wrote with his left hand. As he was taking roll I overheard the girls whispering about how young he was to be a teacher. This kind of gossip reminded me of the gossip spread among housewifes.

"Um, I don’t know about this name… Celestia…Suh-bah-ro?" A wave of laughter erupted from the class. William looked flustered. I raised my hand. He smiled at me weakly and nodded his head. "Excuse me," Just then the class was completely silent. "But the correct pronunciation is Subaru. I am Celestia Subaru. "I stared at him unblinking,waiting for him to do something. He just looked at me with a blank expression, then meekly said "I’m sorry. I will make sure that I will remember that name." At the end of that sentence he smiled. This man was filled with smiles no matter the situation.

We learned things that were of importance to the school and teachers but to me it was a waste of time. As the bell rang I got up and packed my things. Everyone rushed to the door knocking over anyone in their way. I was slowly walking my way over and as I was about to reach the exit when William called out to me. I turned and waited for him to speak. "If you have nothing to say let me leave." I said this coldly trying to make him mad or scared. It didn’t work. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to bother or offend you. By the way what is the origin of your name?" He said this with a timid look on his face. Even though I don't like people mentioning anything about my past, I decided to humor him.

"My family is a mix of people from Europe and Japan. My mother is European and my father is Japanese. That is why my last name is japanese. The reason my first name is Celestia is because my mother wanted me to grow up strong, beautiful, smart and sophisticated. Not unlike most celestial beings." I looked up at him as he was looking at me. His smile was a warm, gentle smile. The smile felt like the sun's rays on your face during a cold season. "Your mother must have loved you alot." I was shocked. No one had ever mentioned my parents in front of me.

"You don't know anything so why are you smiling like that!?" I screamed it out as loud as my lungs could handle. I was mad, my face was flushed. In all reality I was glad that he was the way he was with all his smiles. "You don't know anything! The kids at this school are afraid of me. They are so afraid that they try to ridicule me!" My cheeks were damp from the hot, salty tears streaming down my face. My voice was getting hoarse. I couldn't stand it. My hands were clenching tightly into small fists

He seemed shocked at first. He then smiled at me gently then said, "I never meant to make you cry or feel uncomfortable." He patted my shoulder gently and smiled. I was glad. He was just like I thought he would be which was good and bad. It was good that he was kind but one day he might get hurt. I wiped the tears away from my eyes with the back of my hand and scowled at him. "Hmph, I wasn't crying, I