The Adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane, Alain René le Sage [most read books .txt] 📗
- Author: Alain René le Sage
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I went into Toledo with as light a heart as if I had known where
to get my daily bread. To be sure, it is a town of ways and
means, where a man who can live by his wits need never die of
hunger. Scarcely had I reached the high street, when a well-dressed gentleman by whom I brushed, caught me by the arm,
saying: My little fellow, do you want a place? You are just such
a smart lad as I was looking for. And you are just the master for
my money, answered I. Since that is the case, rejoined he, you
are mine from this moment, and have only to follow me, which I
did without asking any more questions.
This spark, about the age of thirty, and bearing the name of Don
Abel, lodged in very handsome ready-furnished apartments. He was
by profession a blacklegs; and the following was the nature of
our engagement. In the morning I got him as much tobacco as would
smoke five or six pipes; brushed his clothes, and ran for a
barber to shave him and trim his whiskers; after which he made
the circle of the tennis-courts, whence he never returned home
till eleven or twelve at night. But every morning, at going out,
he gave me three reals for the expenses of the day, leaving me
master of my own time till ten o’clock in the evening; and
provided I was within-doors by his return, all was well. He gave
me a livery besides, in which I looked like a little lackey of
illicit love. I took very kindly to my condition, and certainly
could not have met with any more congenial with my temper.
Such and so happy had been my way of life for nearly a month,
when my employer inquired whether I liked his service; and on my
answer in the affirmative, Well, then, resumed he, to-morrow we
shall set out for Seville, whither my concerns call me. You will
not be sorry to see the capital of Andalusia. “He that hath not
Seville seen,” says the proverb. “Is no traveller I ween.” I
engaged at once to follow him all over the world. On that very
day, the Seville carrier fetched away a large trunk with my
master’s wardrobe, and on the next morning we were on the road
for Andalusia.
Signor Don Abel was so lucky at play, that he never lost but when
it was convenient; but then it was seldom convenient to stay long
in a place, because those who are always losers find out at last,
that though chance is a dangerous antagonist, certainly it is a
desperate one; and that accounted for our journey. On our arrival
at Seville, we took lodgings near the Cordova gate, and resumed
the same mode of life as at Toledo. But my master found some
difference between the two towns. The Seville tennis-courts could
produce players equally in fortune’s good graces with himself; so
that he sometimes came home a good deal out of humour. One
morning, when he was biting the bridle for the loss of a hundred
pistoles the day before, he asked why I had not carried his linen
to the laundress. I pleaded forgetfulness. Thereupon, flying into
a passion, be gave me half-a-dozen boxes on the ear, in such a
style, as to kindle an illumination in my blinking eyes, to which
the glories of Solomon’s temple were no more to be compared, than
the torches in a Candlemas procession to a rushlight. There is
for you, you little scoundrel! said he; take that, and learn to
mind your business. Must I be eternally at your heels to remind
you of what you are to do? Are your brains in your belly, and all
your wits in your grinders? You are not a downright idiot! Then
why not prevent my wants and anticipate my orders? After this
experimental lecture, he went out for the day, leaving me in high
dudgeon, at a reprimand so much in the manner of my friend the
ostler, for such a trifle as not getting up his things for the
wash.
I could never learn what happened to him a short time after at a
tennis-court; but one evening he came home in a terrible heat.
Scipio, said he, I am bent on going to Italy, and must embark the
day after to-morrow on board a vessel bound for Genoa. I have my
reasons for making this little excursion; of course you will be
glad to attend me, and to profit by so fine an opportunity of
seeing the loveliest country on the face of the earth. My tongue
gave consent; but with a salvo in my heart and a bargain with my
revenge, to give him the slip just at the moment of embarkation.
This was so delightful a scheme, that I could not help imparting
it to a bully by profession, whom I met in the street. During my
abode in Seville, I had picked up some awkward acquaintance, and
this was one of the most ungainly. I told him how and why my ears
had been boxed, and then communicated my project of running away
from Don Abel just before the ship was to sail, begging to know
what he thought of the plan.
My bluff adviser puckered his eyebrows while he listened, and
fiddled with his fingers about his whiskers: then, blaming my
master very seriously, My little hero, said he, you are eternally
disgraced, can never shew your face again, if you sit down
quietly with so paltry a satisfaction as what you propose. To let
Don Abel go off by himself, would be a poor revenge for wrongs
like yours; the punishment should be proportioned to his crime.
Let us fine him to the full amount of his purse and effects,
which we will share like brothers after he is gone. Now it is to
be noted, that though thieving fell in very naturally with the
bent of my genius, the proposal rather startled me, as the
robbery was upon a large scale for so young an apprentice.
And yet the arch deceiver of my innocence found the means of
working me up to the perpetration, so that the result of our
enterprise was as follows. This glorious ruffian, a tall, brawny
fellow, came in the evening about twilight to our lodging. I
shewed my master’s travelling trunk ready packed, and asked him
whether he could carry so heavy a load upon his shoulders. So
heavy as that! said he: shew me where a transfer of property is
to be made in my favour, and I could run with Noah’s ark to the
top of Mount Ararat. To prove his words, he felt the trunk, flung
it carelessly over his back, and scampered down-stairs, I
followed nimbly; and we had just got to the street door, when Don
Abel, brought home in the nick of time by the ascendancy of his
lucky stars, stood like an apparition, to appal our guilty souls.
Whither are you going with that trunk? said he. I was so taken by
surprise that my assurance failed me; and broad-shoulders,
finding that he had drawn a blank in the lottery, threw down his
booty, and took to his heels, rather than be troubled for an
explanation. Once more, whither are you going with that trunk?
said my master. Sir, answered I, with all the honest simplicity
of a criminal, pleading in arrest of judgment, I was going to put
it on board the vessel, that we might have the less to do to-morrow, before we embark ourselves. Indeed! Then you know,
retorted he, in what ship I have taken my passage? No, sir,
replied I! but those who can talk Latin may always find their way
to Rome: I should have inquired at the port, and somebody would
have informed me. At this explanation, which left his opinion
where it found it, he darted a furious glance at me. I thought
for all the world, he was going to cuff me again about the head.
Who ordered you, cried he, to take my trunk out of this house?
You, your own self; said I. Can you possibly have forgotten how
you rated me but a few days ago? Did you not tell me, with a flea
in my ear, that you would have me prevent your wants, and do
beforehand from my own head whatever your service might require?
Now, not to be threshed a second time for want of forethought, I
was seeing your trunk safe and soon enough on board. On this the
gamester, finding that I had cut my teeth of wisdom sooner than
suited his purpose, turned me off very coolly, saying: Go about
your business, master Scipio, and speed as you may deserve. I do
not like to play with folks who are in the habit of revoking. Get
out of my sight, or I shall set your solfeggio in a crying key.
I spared him the trouble of telling me to go twice. Off I shot
like an arrow, for fear he should unfledge me, by taking away my
livery. When distant enough to slacken my pace, I walked along in
the streets, musing whither I might betake myself for a night’s
lodging, with only two reals in my pocket. The gate of the
archbishop’s palace at length stared me in the face; and, as his
grace’s supper was then dressing, a savoury odour exhaled from
the kitchens, impregnating the gale with soup and sauce for a
mile round. Ods haricots and cutlets! thought I, it would be no
hard matter for me to dispense with one of those little side
dishes, which will be of no use to the archbishop but to make out
the figure of his table: nay, I would be contented only just to
dip in my four fingers and thumb, and then to sup like a bear
upon suckings. But how to accomplish it! Is there no way of
bringing these choice morsels to a better test than that of
smell? And why not? Hunger, they say, will break through stone
walls. On this idea did I set my wits to work; and, by dint of
conning over the subject, a stratagem struck me, which set my
lungs as well as appetite in motion, just as the old carpenter
kept bawling, “I have found it,” like a madman, when he had hit
the right nail of his proposition on the head. I ran into the
court of the palace, and made the best of my way to the kitchens,
calling out with all my might, “Help! help!” as if some assassin
had been at my heels.
At my reiterated cries master Diego, the archbishop’s cook, ran
with three or four kitchen drudges to learn what was the matter;
and seeing only me, asked why I roared so loud. Ah! good sir,
answered I, with every token of exquisite distress, for mercy’s
sake and for St Polycarp’s! save me, I beseech you, from the fury
of a blusterer, who swears he will kill me. But where is this
disturber of the public peace? cried Diego. You have no one to
quarrel with but yourself; for I do not see so much as a cat to
spit at you. Go your ways, my little man, and do not be afraid;
it is evidently some wag who has been playing upon your cowardice
for his diversion; but he knew better than to follow you within
these walls, for we would have cut his ears off at the least. No,
no, said I, it was for no laughing matter that he ran after me.
He is a noted footpad, and meant to rob me; I am certain that he
is now
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