The Adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane, Alain René le Sage [most read books .txt] 📗

good-tempered at bottom, I am not to be

played upon. I have even gone so far as to lock him up, but that

only made hint more headstrong than before. In short, he is one

of those impracticable beings, on whom good example, good advice,

and a good horsewhip, are equally thrown away. If ever he makes

any figure in the world, it must be by a miracle from heaven.

 

Though my heart was not grievously wrung by the sorrows of this

unhappy father, sympathy was expected from me, and I condoled

with him accordingly. How much to be pitied you are, sir! said I.

Virtues like yours deserved to have been handed down in your

progeny. The event is quite the reverse, my good lad, answered

he. Heaven heard my prayer, and gave me a son, but converted the

blessing into an affliction. Among other grounds of complaint

against Gaspard, I may tell you in confidence, there is one which

gives me a great deal of uneasiness; a vast longing to rob his

old father, which he too often finds the means of satisfying, in

spite of all my caution. Your predecessor played into his hands,

and was turned away in consequence. As for you, I flatter myself

that my son will never be able to tamper with your honesty. You

will take my side of the question; for doubtless Father Alexis

has given you your lesson on that head. You may rest assured of

that, said I; for a good long hour did his reverence lecture me

on doing your will and pleasure without let or hindrance; but I

can assure you, there was no need of his saying anything about

the matter. I feel within myself a sort of call to serve you

faithfully, and I promise to do it with a zeal beyond all the

temptations of the world to shake or lessen.

 

He who only hears one side is in danger of deciding partially.

Young Velasquez, a mixture of the fribble and the braggart,

concluding from the cut of my countenance that I was made up of

mortal frailty like my dear predecessor, drew me aside to a snug

corner, and there talked to me after this fashion. Now mind what

is said to you, my dear fellow; you may think I do not know that

you are set as a spy upon me by my father; but take especial care

how you proceed, for I can assure you most sincerely, that the

office is not without very considerable inconvenience to those

who undertake it. If ever I find that you tell tales out of

school, I will give you such a basting as you never had in your

life; but if you will make common cause with me, and a fool of my

father, you may buy golden returns of gratitude from your humble

servant. Do you wish me to deal with you upon the nail? You shall

go snacks in at that we can squeeze out of the old fellow. You

have only to take your choice: fall at once into the ranks either

of father or son; for neutrals will come worse off, where the

contending parties fight for their existence.

 

Sir, answered I, you make the shoe pinch very tight; it is self-evident that there is nothing for me to do but to enlist under

your banners, though in my conscience it seems like a crying sin

to betray Signor Velasquez. That is no concern of yours, rejoined

Gaspard; he is an old hunks, who wants to keep me under his

thumb; a curmudgeon who refuses me the rights of nature, in

refusing to stand to the expenses and repairs of my pleasures;

for pleasures are the necessaries of life at five-and-twenty. It

is in this point of view that you must form your opinion of my

father. If that is the case, so be it, sir, said I; there is no

standing against so just a subject of complaint. I am quite at

your service to play second fiddle in all your laudable

enterprises; but let us take especial care to conceal our good

understanding, for fear your faithful, humble servant should be

kicked out of doors. It will not be amiss, in my poor opinion,

for you to affect an extreme antipathy against me: some good

round of abuse would have a very pretty effect; you need not be

nice; all the blackguard terms in the dictionary will come at

your call. Nay, a box on the ear now and then, or a kick on the

breech, will break no squares; on the contrary, the more you

express your thorough dislike, the more Signor Balthasar will pin

his faith upon my sleeve. My cue will be, apparently to avoid

speaking to you if possible. In waiting at table, I shall perform

my little attentions to you at arm’s length; and whenever your

honour may happen to be called over the coals by the shopmen, you

must not take it amiss if I abuse you worse than a pickpocket.

 

As plain as chalk from cheese! cried young Velasquez at this last

hint; this is admirable, my friend; at your early age, it is

uncommon to meet with such a talent for intrigue; I consider it

as a most happy omen for my purpose. With such a performer to

play up to me, I flatter myself the old codger will be pinched to

the bone and left penniless. You really carry your good opinion

of me beyond what my merit will justify, said I; some industry

may fall to my share, but not such exalted genius. But I shall do

my utmost; and if my honest endeavours fail, your candour most

find excuses for my imbecility.

 

It was not long before Gaspard had proof positive that I was to a

hair’s breadth the very man he wanted; and the following was

precisely the first trick I played into his hand. Balthasar’s

strong box was in the good man’s chamber, by his bedside, a sort

of oratory, with a prayer-book always lying upon it. Every time I

looked that way, my eyes glistened with hope and pleasure; my

heart chuckled over the very idea of what might happen: Fair,

sweet, cruel box, will you for ever be coy to my addresses? May I

never experience the heartfelt delight of possessing all your

charms for better, for worse? As I went into the room at

pleasure, and only Gaspard was warned off the premises, it

happened one day that I watched his father. The old gentleman,

fancying himself unobserved of human eye, after having opened his

treasury and closed it fast again, hid the key behind the

hangings. I took an accurate observation of the place, and

communicated the discovery to my young master, who said with an

improving hug: Ah! my dear Scipio, what glorious news you bring!

Our fortune is made, my dear fellow. I will furnish you with wax;

you shall take the impression of the key, and then our business

is done, There will be no difficulty in finding a benevolent

locksmith in Cordova, where, to do the place justice, there are

as many rogues as in any part of Spain.

 

Well! but why, said I to Gaspard, do you want a false key? We may

find our account in the proper one. Yes, answered he; but I am

afraid lest my father, through mistrust or whim, should take a

fancy to hiding it elsewhere; and the safest way is, to have one

of our own. I commended his precaution, and falling in with all

his principles, got ready for taking the impression of the key:

this was effected one morning early, while my old master was

paying a visit to Father Alexis, with whom he for the most part

held very long conferences. I did not stop here; but availed

myself of the key to open the strong box, wherein an ample range

of large and small bags threw me into the most delightful

perplexity imaginable. I did not know which to choose, there was

such a family likeness among them; nevertheless, as the fear of

being caught did not allow of any long deliberation, I laid

hands, haphazard, on the largest. Then, locking the box

carefully, and putting the key back again behind the hangings, I

got away out of the chamber with my booty, and hid it under my

bed, in a small closet where I lay.

 

Having performed this exploit so successfully, I ran back as fast

as my legs would carry me to young Velasquez, who was waiting at

a house where he had given me notice to meet him, and his delight

was extreme at the recital of what I had just done. He was so

fully satisfied with me, as to lavish caresses without number,

and to offer me thrice, in the fulness of his heart, half the

contents of the bag, which I did thrice refuse. No, no, sir, said

I, this first bag is yours and yours only; apply it to your own

uses and occasions. I shall return forth with to the strong box,

where, as our lucky stars have contrived it, there is money

enough for both of us. Accordingly, three days afterwards I

carried off a second bag, containing, like the first, five

hundred crowns, of which I would only handle the fourth part, let

Gaspard be as pressing as he pleased to force upon me a brotherly

division, share and share alike.

 

As soon as this young man found himself so flush of money, and

consequently in a condition to gratify his hankering after women

and play, he gave himself up entirely to the devices of his own

imagination; nay, his evil genius pursued him so far, as to make

him fall desperately in love with one of those female harpies,

who devour without remorse or intermission, and swallow up the

largest fortunes. His disbursements at her instigation were

frightful; and thus it became necessary for me to pay so many

visits to the strong box, that old Velasquez at length found out

he had been robbed. Scipio, said he one morning, I must give you

a piece of information; some one robs me, my friend; my strong

box has been opened; several bags have been taken out, that is a

certain fact. Whom ought I to accuse of this theft? or rather,

who else but my son can have committed it? Gaspard must have got

by stealth into my chamber, or else you yourself must have played

booty with him; for I am tempted to believe you are in league

with him, though to outward appearance you do not set up your

horses together. And yet I am unwilling to harbour that

suspicion, because Father Alexis undertook to answer for your

honesty. I gave him to understand that, by the blessing of heaven

on a good natural disposition, my neighbours’ goods had no

temptation in my sight; and I so happily suited the action to the

lie, and the lie to the action, that my judge pronounced a

verdict of acquittal on the evidence of grimace and hypocrisy.

 

Accordingly the old man dropped the subject; but for all that,

there was a general misgiving in his breast, and it would

sometimes light upon me; taking precautions, therefore, against

our further attacks, he had a new lock put to his strong box and

always carried the key in his pocket By these means, an embargo

being laid on our traffic with the bags, we looked excessively

foolish, especially Gaspard, who, being unable any longer to keep

his nymph in her usual style, knew very well that he was likely

to be tossed out of her window. He had, however, invention enough

to devise an expedient for keeping his head above water a few

days longer, and that