The Sea Wolf, Jack London [best memoirs of all time TXT] 📗

’e signed me on for a voyage in this bloomin’ world of ’is!”

This tirade against destiny went on for an hour or more, and then he buckled to his work, limping and groaning, and in his eyes a great hatred for all created things.  His diagnosis was correct, however, for he was seized with occasional sicknesses, during which he vomited blood and suffered great pain.  And as he said, it seemed God hated him too much to let him die, for he ultimately grew better and waxed more malignant than ever.

Several days more passed before Johnson crawled on deck and went about his work in a half-hearted way.  He was still a sick man, and I more than once observed him creeping painfully aloft to a topsail, or drooping wearily as he stood at the wheel.  But, still worse, it seemed that his spirit was broken.  He was abject before Wolf Larsen and almost grovelled to Johansen.  Not so was the conduct of Leach.  He went about the deck like a tiger cub, glaring his hatred openly at Wolf Larsen and Johansen.

“I’ll do for you yet, you slab-footed Swede,” I heard him say to Johansen one night on deck.

The mate cursed him in the darkness, and the next moment some missile struck the galley a sharp rap.  There was more cursing, and a mocking laugh, and when all was quiet I stole outside and found a heavy knife imbedded over an inch in the solid wood.  A few minutes later the mate came fumbling about in search of it, but I returned it privily to Leach next day.  He grinned when I handed it over, yet it was a grin that contained more sincere thanks than a multitude of the verbosities of speech common to the members of my own class.

Unlike any one else in the ship’s company, I now found myself with no quarrels on my hands and in the good graces of all.  The hunters possibly no more than tolerated me, though none of them disliked me; while Smoke and Henderson, convalescent under a deck awning and swinging day and night in their hammocks, assured me that I was better than any hospital nurse, and that they would not forget me at the end of the voyage when they were paid off.  (As though I stood in need of their money!  I, who could have bought them out, bag and baggage, and the schooner and its equipment, a score of times over!)  But upon me had devolved the task of tending their wounds, and pulling them through, and I did my best by them.

Wolf Larsen underwent another bad attack of headache which lasted two days.  He must have suffered severely, for he called me in and obeyed my commands like a sick child.  But nothing I could do seemed to relieve him.  At my suggestion, however, he gave up smoking and drinking; though why such a magnificent animal as he should have headaches at all puzzles me.

“’Tis the hand of God, I’m tellin’ you,” is the way Louis sees it.  “’Tis a visitation for his black-hearted deeds, and there’s more behind and comin’, or else—”

“Or else,” I prompted.

“God is noddin’ and not doin’ his duty, though it’s me as shouldn’t say it.”

I was mistaken when I said that I was in the good graces of all.  Not only does Thomas Mugridge continue to hate me, but he has discovered a new reason for hating me.  It took me no little while to puzzle it out, but I finally discovered that it was because I was more luckily born than he—“gentleman born,” he put it.

“And still no more dead men,” I twitted Louis, when Smoke and Henderson, side by side, in friendly conversation, took their first exercise on deck.

Louis surveyed me with his shrewd grey eyes, and shook his head portentously.  “She’s a-comin’, I tell you, and it’ll be sheets and halyards, stand by all hands, when she begins to howl.  I’ve had the feel iv it this long time, and I can feel it now as plainly as I feel the rigging iv a dark night.  She’s close, she’s close.”

“Who goes first?” I queried.

“Not fat old Louis, I promise you,” he laughed.  “For ’tis in the bones iv me I know that come this time next year I’ll be gazin’ in the old mother’s eyes, weary with watchin’ iv the sea for the five sons she gave to it.”

“Wot’s ’e been s’yin’ to yer?” Thomas Mugridge demanded a moment later.

“That he’s going home some day to see his mother,” I answered diplomatically.

“I never ’ad none,” was the Cockney’s comment, as he gazed with lustreless, hopeless eyes into mine.

CHAPTER XIV

It has dawned upon me that I have never placed a proper valuation upon womankind.  For that matter, though not amative to any considerable degree so far as I have discovered, I was never outside the atmosphere of women until now.  My mother and sisters were always about me, and I was always trying to escape them; for they worried me to distraction with their solicitude for my health and with their periodic inroads on my den, when my orderly confusion, upon which I prided myself, was turned into worse confusion and less order, though it looked neat enough to the eye.  I never could find anything when they had departed.  But now, alas, how welcome would have been the feel of their presence, the frou-frou and swish-swish of their skirts which I had so cordially detested!  I am sure, if I ever get home, that I shall never be irritable with them again.  They may dose me and doctor me morning, noon, and night, and dust and sweep and put my den to rights every minute of the day, and I shall only lean back and survey it all and be thankful in that I am possessed of a mother and some several sisters.

All of which has set me wondering.  Where are the mothers of these twenty and odd men on the Ghost?  It strikes me as unnatural and unhealthful that men should be totally separated from women and herd through the world by themselves.  Coarseness and savagery are the inevitable results.  These men about me should have wives, and sisters, and daughters; then would they be capable of softness, and tenderness, and sympathy.  As it is, not one of them is married.  In years and years not one of them has been in contact with a good woman, or within the influence, or redemption, which irresistibly radiates from such a creature.  There is no balance in their lives.  Their masculinity, which in itself is of the brute, has been over-developed.  The other and spiritual side of their natures has been dwarfed—atrophied, in fact.

They are a company of celibates, grinding harshly against one another and growing daily more calloused from the grinding.  It seems to me impossible sometimes that they ever had mothers.  It would appear that they are a half-brute, half-human species, a race apart, wherein there is no such thing as sex; that they are hatched out by the sun like turtle eggs, or receive life in some similar and sordid fashion; and that all their days they fester in brutality and viciousness, and in the end die as unlovely as they have lived.

Rendered curious by this new direction of ideas, I talked with Johansen last night—the first superfluous words with which he has favoured me since the voyage began.  He left Sweden when he was eighteen, is now thirty-eight, and in all the intervening time has not been home once.  He had met a townsman, a couple of years before, in some sailor boarding-house in Chile, so that he knew his mother to be still alive.

“She must be a pretty old woman now,” he said, staring meditatively into the binnacle and then jerking a sharp glance at Harrison, who was steering a point off the course.

“When did you last write to her?”

He performed his mental arithmetic aloud.  “Eighty-one; no—eighty-two, eh? no—eighty-three?  Yes, eighty-three.  Ten years ago.  From some little port in Madagascar.  I was trading.

“You see,” he went on, as though addressing his neglected mother across half the girth of the earth, “each year I was going home.  So what was the good to write?  It was only a year.  And each year something happened, and I did not go.  But I am mate, now, and when I pay off at ’Frisco, maybe with five hundred dollars, I will ship myself on a windjammer round the Horn to Liverpool, which will give me more money; and then I will pay my passage from there home.  Then she will not do any more work.”

“But does she work? now?  How old is she?”

“About seventy,” he answered.  And then, boastingly, “We work from the time we are born until we die, in my country.  That’s why we live so long.  I will live to a hundred.”

I shall never forget this conversation.  The words were the last I ever heard him utter.  Perhaps they were the last he did utter, too.  For, going down into the cabin to turn in, I decided that it was too stuffy to sleep below.  It was a calm night.  We were out of the Trades, and the Ghost was forging ahead barely a knot an hour.  So I tucked a blanket and pillow under my arm and went up on deck.

As I passed between Harrison and the binnacle, which was built into the top of the cabin, I noticed that he was this time fully three points off.  Thinking that he was asleep, and wishing him to escape reprimand or worse, I spoke to him.  But he was not asleep.  His eyes were wide and staring.  He seemed greatly perturbed, unable to reply to me.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.  “Are you sick?”

He shook his head, and with a deep sign as of awakening, caught his breath.

“You’d better get on your course, then,” I chided.

He put a few spokes over, and I watched the compass-card swing slowly to N.N.W. and steady itself with slight oscillations.

I took a fresh hold on my bedclothes and was preparing to start on, when some movement caught my eye and I looked astern to the rail.  A sinewy hand, dripping with water, was clutching the rail.  A second hand took form in the darkness beside it.  I watched, fascinated.  What visitant from the gloom of the deep was I to behold?  Whatever it was, I knew that it was climbing aboard by the log-line.  I saw a head, the hair wet and straight, shape itself, and then the unmistakable eyes and face of Wolf Larsen.  His right cheek was red with blood, which flowed from some wound in the head.

He drew himself inboard with a quick effort, and arose to his feet, glancing swiftly, as he did so, at the man at the wheel, as though to assure himself of his identity and that there was nothing to fear from him.  The sea-water was streaming from him.  It made little audible gurgles which distracted me.  As he stepped toward me I shrank back instinctively, for I saw that in his eyes which spelled death.

“All right, Hump,” he said in a low voice.  “Where’s the mate?”

I shook my head.

“Johansen!” he called softly.  “Johansen!”

“Where is he?” he demanded of Harrison.

The young fellow seemed to have recovered his composure, for he answered steadily enough, “I don’t know, sir.  I saw him go for’ard a little while ago.”

“So did I go for’ard.  But you will observe that I didn’t come back the way I went.  Can you explain it?”

“You must have been overboard, sir.”

“Shall I look for him in the steerage, sir?” I asked.

Wolf Larsen shook his head.  “You wouldn’t find him, Hump.  But you’ll do.  Come on.  Never mind your bedding.  Leave it where it is.”

I followed at his heels.  There was nothing stirring amidships.

“Those cursed hunters,” was his comment.  “Too damned fat and lazy to stand a four-hour watch.”

But on the