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October 16, 1991

This was a day that I will never forget, the day that started it all. The first time I looked into those beautiful eyes and saw that perfect smile I knew you would be mine.

I heard there was an audition at a neighboring high school for the play Oliver so I figured I would audition and hopefully I would get a small part. Who knew I would end up with not only a part but with the love of my life? It was a chilly, wet day and I walked up to the school very lost but outside I met up with another girl who was auditioning for the same play her name was Emmy. Together we went to the front door and hoped to find where we should go. Once the door opened we were both amazed at the grandeur of the building but we didn’t see any signs of a play. After about a minute of standing there, there you were. You came walking down the hall laughing with your friend John. We explained that we were lost and asked if the two of you knew where we were to go. You took the lead and told us to follow you. You took us down the hall and up the stairs to a classroom on the second floor. I told Emmy I didn’t know who this guy was but I was going to find out and we were going to be a couple one day. I guess you can say if you wish it hard enough it does come true. Once we arrived at the classroom you and John left. I found out from one of the guys that you were in the stage crew for the play so I knew I had to get into this play. I did get a part in the ensemble which was fine with me as long as I had access to you.

After a few weeks of rehearsals of which we would glance over at the other and share smiles you finally approached me. I was sitting in the audience of the auditorium watching the rehearsal and you of course and I saw you and John talking and glancing at me. I wondered what you were saying but didn’t think too much of it. Then the big moment came. You came to the row behind me, leaned forward to my right, and asked for my name. I couldn’t believe you were talking to me my heart was skipping all kinds of beats and I was a nervous wreck. I gave you my name and you gave me yours, Ed, and we chatted for awhile but your words were all a blur to me as I gazed into your eyes and watched you smile. Then the big question of the day was when you asked for my number and asked if we could hang out sometime. I couldn’t wait to say yes. After that conversation you did call and we talked about everything and nothing I think we just like listening to each other. You began coming to see me at my school every morning and I came to your school every afternoon. You went from a complete stranger to my boyfriend in a matter of weeks. Falling in love with you was so easy and effortless. I couldn’t wait to see you, to be with you, to hear your voice. The day you told me you loved me, I was floating on air. I had never been that happy before. Baby, I would have married you that minute had you asked. No man has ever taken over my soul like you did.

I was actually strong enough to admit to my mother I was dating you and this was another first. I had never before acknowledged any connection with a male before, not as a friend or a lover, but you were different I couldn’t keep you a secret. I told me entire family about you. And so began the crazy. My mother of course disapproved, she didn’t like any boy I knew so you wouldn’t be any different. She harassed your school, your family, you. We would fight about you, I would be threatened and abused because of my love for you but I could not and I would not give you up you were too important to me. I knew I was just as important to you when you would continue to fight for me and date me without losing your stance. Spring came that year and what happened then was the most hurtful thing. You took me to a motel and we made love but I had no idea it was to be the last time as a couple. On the way to one of my friends’ homes, you broke up with me with no explanation. I pressed you for answers but you gave me none. I was devastated. You took someone else to your prom and I cried, you graduated and I cried, the rest of that year pretty much was horrible for me.

I knew you still loved me though because even though you wouldn’t give me answers you never stopped calling me. I saw you still and spoke to you as friends but my heart was broken. You went away to college that fall but a month later you were back to visit and you showed up at my school. I was very surprised and happy to see you. You ended up inviting yourself to be my prom date which was the best news I had heard in a long time. We spoke all year and finally on prom day my mother struck again by showing up at the prom after hijacking my dress. I was not going to let her ruin this night and I am happy she didn’t. I had applied to several colleges that year but the most important to me was the one near your college. I was accepted and couldn’t wait to go. I brought my mother down there to show her this dream school and she was excited for me that is until she saw you at the mall. So even though I was accepted and had everything down to the dorm arrangement taken care of she pulled me out at the last minute and that dream vanished. I was so mad and found it hard to even tell you what happened.

I wished you had just told me that you wanted me. Why was it so hard to admit that to me? Had you told me those words I would have left home anyway just to be with you but the words never came and I figured you didn’t want me to come anymore. We spoke less and less and the last time we spoke was after I had my daughter a few years later. I wanted to run to you then and tell you how much I loved you but you told me you weren’t ready to be a father which I took to mean not a step father either. Then I moved and we lost contact.

For years I tried to find you. I called your mom, I looked online, I asked friends and I was always a step behind you. When your mom told me you got married I cried and mourned you but my heart was still yours. No matter who we are with I will always be your girl as you will always be my guy.

February 22, 2009

What started to be an ordinary day checking the status' my friends had posted on Facebook turned into a day of wonder, shock, and amazement. I had remained friends with John over the years and today I noticed he had a new friend on his list by the name of Ed. Could it be? A moment of panic hit me as I went to examine. One glance at the picture and I couldn't breathe, it was you!. I had prayed for this moment, imagined how this would happen, and finally the moment had come. I sent you a message and you responded. I had found my love again!

We shared all that was missed in each other's lives and began to talk every day. Questions were being answered, feelings were shared, it was a dream come true. One day the biggest reveal from you came. You told me that you were still in love with me and I confided the same with you. The connection we once shared had never been broken. Each day was now a brand new day to love you.

Where we stand now.

Nineteen years later after our first meeting and I love you more now than I loved you then. Thanks to Facebook and John you are back in my life again even though you are still married and I am single. It’s hard to deal with sometimes because of the long distance between us but I know any way I can have you in my life I will accept. We have found many ways to be together even though distance keeps us apart and that amazes me. I love knowing you are just a call away, you bring such light to my day. I would give up anything for you, do anything for you and you know this is true. No one has ever had all of me nor have I ever been this free except with you. My soul, body, and heart belong to you. Never will I hide that again. I don’t ever want to be without you and I will cherish every moment we have together. So, I look forward to whatever life brings us no matter what the challenge because the foundation we laid nearly two decades ago has grown into an amazing love that will never disappear.

Imprint

Publication Date: 05-22-2010

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