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Informed Tamehameha,  In

A Long Prefatory Oration,  Of The Object Of The Ceremony. 

Taking One Of Us By The Hand (I Thought The Peppery Old

General Would Have Thrust Him Aside),  Mr. Wiley Told The King

That It Was Seldom The Sandwich Islands Were 'Veesited' By

Strangers Of Such 'Desteenction' - That The Duke Of This

(Referring To Fred's Relations),  And Lord The Other,  Were The

Greatest Noblemen In The World; Then,  With Much Solemnity, 

Quoted A Long Speech From Shakespeare,  And Handed Us Over To

His Rival.

 

His Majesty,  Who Did Not Understand A Word Of English,  Or

Scotch,  Looked Grave And Held Tight To The Arm Of The Throne;

For The Truth Is,  That Although He Had Relinquished His

Bottle For The Hour,  He Had Brought Its Contents With Him. 

My Salaam Was Soon Made; But As I Retired Backwards I Had The

Misfortune To Set My Heel On The Toes Of A Black-And-Tan

Terrier,  A Privileged Pet Of The General's.  The Shriek Of

The Animal And The Loss Of My Equilibrium Nearly Precipitated

Me Into The Arms Of A Trousered Princess; But The Amiable

Young Lady Only Laughed.  Thus Ended My Glimpse Of The

Hawaian Court.  Mr. Wiley Afterwards Remarked To Me:  'We Do

Things In A Humble Way,  Ye'll Obsairve; But Royalty Is

Royalty All Over The World,  And His Majesty Tamehameha Is As

Much Keng Of His Ain Domeenions As Victoria Is Queen Of

Breetain.' The Relativity Of Greatness Was Not To Be Denied.

 

The Men - Kanakas,  As They Are Called - Are Fine Stalwart

Fellows Above Our Average Height.  The Only Clothing They

Then Wore Was The Maro,  A Cloth Made By Themselves Of The

Acacia Bark.  This They Pass Between The Legs,  And Once Or

Twice Round The Loins.  The Wyheenes - Women - Formerly Wore

Nothing But A Short Petticoat Or Kilt Of The Same Material. 

By Persuasion Of The Missionaries They Have Exchanged This

Simple Garment For A Chemise Of Printed Calico,  With The

Waist Immediately Under The Arms So As To Conceal The Contour

Of The Figure.  Other Clothing Have They None.

 

Are They The More Chaste?  Are They The Less Seductive -? 

Hear What M. Anatole France Says In His Apostrophe To The

Sex:  'Pour Faire De Vous La Terrible Merveille Que Vous Etes

Aujourd'hui,  Pour Devenir La Cause Indifferente Et Souveraine

Des Sacrifices Et Des Crimes,  Il Vous A Fallu Deux Choses: 

La Civilisation Qui Vous Donna Des Voiles,  Et La Religion Qui

Vous Donna Des Scrupules.'  The Translation Of Which Is

(Please Take Note Of It,  My Dear Young Ladies With 'Les

Epaules Qui Ne Finissent Pas'):

 

Chapter 30 Pg 161

 

 

'Heard Melodies Are Sweet,  But Those Unheard

Are Sweeter.'

 

 

 

 

 

Be This As It May,  These Chocolate-Skinned Beauties,  With

Their Small And Regular Features,  Their Rosy Lips,  Their

Perfect Teeth - Of Which They Take Great Care - Their

Luxurious Silky Tresses,  Their Pretty Little Hands And Naked

Feet,  And Their Exquisite Forms,  Would Match The Matchless

Cleopatra.

 

Through The Kindness Of Fred's Host,  The Principal Merchant

In The Island,  We Were Offered An Opportunity Of Becoming

Acquainted With The Elite Of The Honolulu Nymphs.  Mr. S.

Invited Us To What Is Called A Loohou Feast Got Up By Him For

Their Entertainment.  The Head Of One Of The Most Picturesque

Valleys In Woahoo Was Selected For The Celebration Of This

Ancient Festival.  Mounted On Horses With Which Mr. S. Had

Furnished Us,  We Repaired In A Party To The Appointed Spot. 

It Was Early In The Afternoon When We Reached It; None Of The

Guests Had Arrived,  Excepting A Few Kanakas,  Who Were Engaged

In Thatching An Old Shed As Shelter From The Sun,  And

Strewing The Ground With A Thick Carpet Of Palm-Leaves.  Ere

Long,  A Cavalcade Of Between Thirty And Forty Amazons - They

All Rode Astride - Came Racing Up The Valley At Full Speed, 

Their Merry Shouts Proclaiming Their Approach.  Gaudy Strips

Of Maro Were Loosely Folded Around Their Legs For Skirts. 

Their Pretty Little Straw Hats Trimmed With Ribbons,  Or Their

Uncovered Heads With Their Long Hair Streaming In The Wind, 

Confined Only By A Wreath Of Fresh Orange Flowers,  Added To

Their Irresistible Charm.  Certainly,  The Bravest Soldiers

Could Not Have Withstood Their Charge.  No Men,  However,  Were

Admitted,  Save Those Who Had Been Expressly Invited; But Each

Lady Of Importance Was Given A Carte Blanche To Bring As Many

Of Her Own Sex As She Pleased,  Provided They Were Both Pretty

And Respectable.

 

As They Rode Up,  We Cavaliers,  With Becoming Gallantry, 

Offered Our Assistance While They Dismounted.  Smitten

Through And Through By The Bright Eyes Of One Little Houri

Who Possessed Far More Than Her Share Of The First

Requirement,  And,  Taking The Second For Granted,  I

Courteously Prepared To Aid Her To Alight; When,  To My

Discomfiture,  Instead Of A Gracious Acknowledgment Of My

Services,  She Gave Me A Sharp Cut With Her Whip.  As, 

However,  She Laughed Merrily At My Wry Faces,  I Accepted The

Act As A Scratch Of The Kitten's Claws; At Least,  It Was No 

Chapter 30 Pg 162

Sign Of Indifference,  And Giving Myself The Benefit Of The

Doubt,  Lifted Her From Her Saddle Without Further

Chastisement,  Except A Coquettish Smile That Wounded,  Alas!

More Than It Healed.

 

The Feast Was Thus Prepared:  Poultry,  Sucking-Pigs,  And

Puppies - The Last,  After Being Scalded And Scraped,  Were

Stuffed With Vegetables And Spices,  Rolled In Plantain

Leaves,  And Placed In The Ground Upon Stones Already Heated. 

More Stones Were Then Laid Over Them,  And Fires Lighted On

The Top Of All.  While The Cooking Was In Progress,  The

Kanakas Ground Taro Roots For The Paste Called 'Poe'; The

Girls Danced And Sang.  The Songs Were Devoid Of Melody, 

Being Musical Recitations Of Imaginary Love Adventures, 

Accompanied By Swayings Of The Body And Occasional Choral

Interruptions,  All Becoming More And More Excited As The

Story Or Song Approached Its Natural Climax.  Sometimes This

Was Varied By A Solitary Dancer Starting From The Circle,  And

Performing The Wildest Bacchanalian Antics,  To The Vocal

Incitement Of The Rest.  This Only Ended With Physical

Exhaustion,  Or Collapse From Feminine Hysteria.

 

The Food Was Excellent; The Stuffed Puppy Was A Dish For An

Epicure.  Though Knives And Forks Were Unknown,  And Each

Helped Herself From The Plantain Leaf,  One Had Not The Least

Objection To Do Likewise,  For The Most Scrupulous Cleanliness

Is One Of The Many Merits Of These Fascinating Creatures. 

Before Every Dip Into The Leaf,  The Dainty Little Fingers

Were Plunged Into Bowls Of Fresh Water Provided For The

Purpose.  Delicious Fruit Followed The Substantial Fare; A

Small Glass Of Kava - A Juice Extracted From A Root Of The

Pepper Tribe - Was Then Served To All Alike.  Having Watched

The Process Of Preparing The Beverage,  I Am Unable To Speak

As To Its Flavour.  The Making Of It Is Remarkable.  A Number

Of Women Sit On The Ground,  Chew The Root,  And Spit Its Juice

Into A Bowl.  The Liquor Is Kept Till It Ferments,  After

Which It Becomes Highly Intoxicating.  I Regret To Say That

Its Potency Was Soon Manifested On This Occasion.  No Sooner

Did The Poison Set Their Wild Blood Tingling,  Than A Free

Fight Began For The Remaining Gourds.  Such A Scratching, 

Pulling Of Hair,  Clawing,  Kicking,  And Crying,  Were Never

Seen.  Only By Main Force Did We Succeed In Restoring Peace. 

It Is But Fair To State That,  Except On The Celebration Of

One Or Two Solemn And Sacred Rites Such As That Of The

Loohou,  These Island Thyades Never Touch Fermented Liquors.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 31 Pg 163

 

 

 

It Was An Easier Task When All Was Over To Set The Little

Amazons On Their Horses Than To Keep Them There,  For By The

Time We Had Perched One On Her Saddle,  Or Pad Rather,  And

Adjusted Her With The Greatest Nicety,  Another Whom We Had

Just Left Would Lose Her Balance And Fall With A Scream To

The Ground.  It Was Almost As Difficult As Packing Mules On

The Prairie.  For My Part It Must Be Confessed That I Left

The Completion Of The Job To Others.  Curious And

Entertaining As The Feast Was,  My Whole Attention Was Centred

And Absorbed In Arakeeta,  Which That Artful Little

Enchantress Had The Gift To Know,  And Lashed Me Accordingly

With Her Eyes More Cruelly Than She Had Done With Her Whip. 

I Had Got So Far,  You See,  As To Learn Her Name,  The First

Instalment Of An Intimacy Which My Demolished Heart Was

Staked On Perfecting.  I Noticed That She Refused The Kava

With Real Or Affected Repugnance; And When The Passage Of

Arms,  And Legs,  Began,  She Slipped Away,  Caught Her Animal, 

And With A Parting Laugh At Me,  Started Off For Home.  There

Was Not The Faintest Shadow Of Encouragement In Her Saucy

Looks To Follow Her.  Still,  She Was A Year Older Than

Juliet,  Who Was Nearly Fourteen; So,  Who Could Say What Those

Looks Might Veil?  Besides:

 

 

 

 

 

Das Naturell Der Frauen

Ist So Nah Mit Kunst Verwandt,

 

 

 

 

 

That One Might Easily Be Mistaken.  Anyhow,  Flight Provoked

Pursuit; I Jumped On To My Horse,  And Raced Along The Plain

Like Mad.  She Saw Me Coming,  And Flogged The More,  But Being

The Better Mounted Of The Two,  By Degrees I Overhauled Her. 

As I Ranged Alongside,  Neither Slackened Speed; And Reaching

Out To Catch Her Bridle,  My Knee Hooked Under The Hollow Of

Hers,  Twisted Her Clean Off Her Pad,  And In A Moment She Lay

Senseless On The Ground.  I Flung Myself From My Horse,  And

Laid Her Head Upon My Lap.  Good God! Had I Broken Her Neck! 

She Did Not Stir; Her Eyes Were Closed,  But She Breathed,  And

Her Heart Beat Quickly.  I Was Wild With Terror And Remorse. 

I Looked Back For Aid,  But The Others Had Not Started; We

Were Still A Mile Or More From Honolulu.  I Knew Not What To

Do.  I Kissed Her Forehead,  I Called Her By Her Name.  But

She Lay Like A Child Asleep.  Presently Her Dazed Eyes Opened

And Stared With Wonderment,  And Then She Smiled.  The Tears,  

Chapter 31
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