Business Correspondence, Anonymous [classic reads .txt] 📗

of folly to write him a letter filled with technical descriptions about the quality of the fan, the magnetic density of the iron that is used, the quality of the insulation, the kilowatts consumed—“talking points” that would be lost on the average business man. The letter that would sell him would give specific, but not technical information, about how the speed of the fan is easily regulated, that it needs to be oiled but once a year, and costs so much a month to operate. These are the things in which the prospective customer is interested.

Then there is the correspondent whose descriptions are too vague; too general—little more than bald assertions. A letter from a vacuum cleaner manufacturing company trying to interest agents is filled with such statements as: “This is the best hand power machine ever manufactured,” “It is the greatest seller ever produced,” “It sells instantly upon demonstration.” No one believes such exaggerations as these. Near the end of the letter—where the writer should be putting in his clincher, there is a little specific information stating that the device weighs only five pounds, is made of good material and can be operated by a child. If this paragraph had followed quickly after the introduction and had gone into further details, the prospect might have been interested, but it is probable that the majority of those who received the letter never read as far as the bottom of the second page.

If a man is sufficiently interested in a product to write for catalogue and information, or if you have succeeded in getting his attention in the opening paragraph of a sales letter, he is certain to read a description that is specific and definite.

The average man thinks of a work bench as a work bench and would be at a loss to describe one, but he has a different conception after reading these paragraphs from a manufacturer’s letter:

 

“Just a word so you will understand the superiority of our goods.

“Our benches are built principally of maple, the very best Michigan hard maple, and we carry this timber in our yards in upwards of a million feet at a time. It is piled up and allowed to air dry for at least two years before being used; then the stock is kiln dried to make sure that the lumber is absolutely without moisture or sap, and we know there can be no warping or opening of glue joints in the finished product.

“Our machinery is electrically driven, securing an even drive to the belt, thus getting the best work from all equipment—absolutely true cuts that give perfect joints to all work.

“Then, as to glue: Some manufacturers contend that any glue that sticks will do. We insist there should be no question about glue joints; no ‘perhaps’ in our argument. That’s why we use only the best by test; not merely sticking two pieces of wood together to try the joint quality, but glue that is scientifically tested for tenacity, viscosity, absorption, and for acid or coloring matter—in short, every test that can be applied.”

 

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This description is neither too technical nor too general; it carries conviction, it is specific enough to appeal to a master carpenter, and it is clear enough to be understood by the layman who never handled a saw or planer.

It may be laid down as a principle that long description should ordinarily be made in circulars, folders or catalogues that are enclosed with the letter or sent in a separate envelope, but sometimes it is desirable to emphasize certain points in the letter. Happy is the man who can eject enough originality into this description to make it easy reading. The majority of correspondents, in describing the parts of an automobile, would say:

 

“The celebrated Imperial Wheel Bearings are used, These do not need to be oiled oftener than once in six months.”

 

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A correspondent who knew how to throw light into dark places said:

 

“Imperial Wheel Bearings: grease twice a year and forget.”

 

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This “and forget” is such a clever stroke that you are carried on through the rest of the letter, and you are not bored with the figures and detailed description.

In a similar way a sales manager, in writing the advertising matter for a motor cycle, leads up to his description of the motor and its capacity by the brief statement: “No limit to speed but the law.” This is a friction clutch on the imagination that carries the reader’s interest to the end.

One writer avoids bringing technical descriptions into his letters, at the same time carrying conviction as to the quality of his goods:

 

“This metal has been subjected to severe accelerated corrosion tests held in accordance with rigid specifications laid down by the American Society for Testing Material, and has proven to corrode much less than either charcoal iron, wrought iron, or steel sheet.

“A complete record of these tests and results will be found on the enclosed sheet.”

 

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Then there are times when description may be almost entirely eliminated from the letter. For instance, if you are trying to sell a man a house and lot and he has been out to look at the place and has gone over it thoroughly, there is little more that you can say in the way of description. Your letter must deal entirely with arguments as to why he should buy now—persuasion, inducement. Or, if you are trying to sell him the typewriter that he has been trying out in his office for a month, description is unnecessary—the load your letter must carry is lightened. And there are letters in which explanation is unnecessary. If you are trying to get a man to order a suit of clothes by mail, you will not explain the use of clothes but you will bear down heavily on the description of the material that you put into these particular garments and point out why it is to his advantage to order direct of the manufacturers.

But if you are presenting a new proposition, it is necessary to explain its nature, its workings, its principles and appliances. If you are trying to sell a fountain pen you will not waste valuable space in explaining to the reader what a fountain pen is good for and why he should have one, but rather you will give the reasons for buying your particular pen in preference to others. You will explain the self-filling feature and the new patent which prevents its leaking or clogging.

It is not always possible to separate description and explanation. Here is an illustration taken from a letter sent out by a mailorder shoe company:

 

“I hope your delay in ordering is not the result of any lack of clear information about Wearwells. Let me briefly mention some of the features of Wearwell shoes that I believe warrant you in favoring us with your order:

(A) Genuine custom style; (B) Highest grade material and workmanship; (C) The best fit—thanks to our quarter-sized system—that it is possible to obtain in shoes; (D) Thorough foot comfort and long wear; (E) Our perfect mailorder service; and (F) The guaranteed PROOF OF QUALITY given in the specification tag sent with every pair.”

 

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This is a concise summary of a longer description that had been given in a previous letter and it explains why the shoes will give satisfaction.

Here is the paragraph by which the manufacturer of a time-recording device, writing about the advantages of his system puts in explanation plus argument:

 

“Every employee keeps his own time and cannot question his own record. All mechanism is hidden and locked. Nothing can be tampered with. The clock cannot be stopped. The record cannot be beaten.

“This device fits into any cost system and gives an accurate record of what time every man puts on every job. It serves the double purpose of furnishing you a correct time-on-job cost and prevents loafing. It stops costly leaks and enables you to figure profit to the last penny.”

 

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Explanation may run in one of many channels. It may point out how the careful selection of raw material makes your product the best, or how the unusual facilities of your factory or the skill of your workmen, or the system of testing the parts assures the greatest value. You might explain why the particular improvements and the patents on your machines make it better or give it greater capacity. The description and the explanation must of necessity depend upon the character of the proposition, but it may be laid down as a general principle that the prospect must be made to understand thoroughly just what the article is for, how it is made, how it looks, how it is used, and what its points of superiority are. Whenever possible, the description and explanation in the letter should be reinforced by samples or illustrations that will give a more graphic idea of the product.

The prospect may be sufficiently familiar with the thing you are selling to relieve you of the necessity of describing and explaining, although usually these supports are necessary for a selling campaign. But it must be remembered that description and explanation alone do not make a strong appeal to the will. They may arouse interest and excite desire but they do not carry conviction as argument does. Some letters are full of explanation and description but lack argument. The repair man from the factory may give a good explanation of how a machine works, but the chances are he would fall down in trying to sell the machine, unless he understood how to reinforce his explanations with a salesman’s ability to use argument and persuasion.

And so you must look well to your arguments, and the arguments that actually pull the most orders consist of proofs—cold, hard logic and facts that cannot be questioned. As you hope for the verdict of the jury you must prove your case. It is amazing how many correspondents fail to appreciate the necessity for arguments. Pages will be filled with assertions, superlative adjectives, boastful claims of superiority, but not one sentence that offers proof of any statement, not one logical reason why the reader should be interested.

“We know you will make a mint of money if you put in our goods.” “This is the largest and most complete line in the country.” “Our factory has doubled its capacity during the last three years.” “Our terms are the most liberal that have ever been offered.” “You are missing the opportunity of your lifetime if you do not accept this proposition.” “We hope to receive your order by return mail, for you will never have such a wonderful opportunity again.” Such sentences fill the pages of thousands of letters that are mailed every day.

 

“Our system of inspection with special micrometer gauges insures all parts being perfect—within one-thousandth of an inch of absolute accuracy. This means, too, any time you want an extra part of your engine for replacement that you can get it and that it will fit. If we charged you twice as much for the White engine, we could not give you better material or workmanship.”

 

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Now this is an argument that is worth while: that the parts of the engine are so accurately ground that repairs can be made quickly, and new parts will fit without a moment’s trouble. The last sentence of the paragraph is of course nothing but assertion, but it is stated in a way that carries conviction. Many correspondents