Four Letters Or Less, Alada Porter [read more books .txt] 📗

Dear Mia,

I know you don’t miss me; I’d like to say that that isn’t a big deal, but it is. I miss you. I miss you more than I can bear. I can shut my eyes, but the echo of your face, of your lips, of your eyes, of your hair, the echo of all of you is so loud that I just can’t seem to ever make it into REM. I feel so lost Mia, what can I do? How can I move and work and feel the way I had in the past when all my hand can do is pine for your hand, when all my lips can say is your name?
I read your note even now, over and over and over. I know it’s only one line, but I feel like it says all that I need to know about how to win you back. In that line is the clue to what you want, to what you need, and I feel like if I look at it for a real long time I can see it. I can see what you saw when you left me.
Did you love me Mia? And can you love me now? If I say that I did not mean to give you any less than all of my love, then will you come back to me? What can I do Mia? What can I say?
I miss you more than I can bear.

Love,
Tom

Tom,

Why do you do this to me? It’s been a year now, and yet when I read a note from you, I feel as if I had only just left. Why does this have to be so damn hard? I just want to move on, to move away from you and the echo of you that is sent back to me each time I see a note from you in my mail. I can’t heal, I can’t let go and I don’t know what to do.
You say you want me back, but do you even know what it felt like to be with me? I don’t get it, I don’t know what you see now that you did not see then, but it’s too late. You had me, and you gave me up. I don’t want your note, I don’t want your pain, and most of all I don’t want your love. I want to let you slip from my mind, I want the cut to heal, I want my eyes to dry up so that I can move on and find a new love. A love that will love me more than I can bear when I am next to him, not as soon as I run away. You don’t know what love is, and if you go on as you have been, I don’t know that you ever will.


-Mia

Dear Mia,

Do you hate me that much? Was it so hard to love me? I have not been the best to you, I know that now, but was pain all I ever gave you? Damn it Mia! I did my best! I gave you all I could! I can be cold, and I am not kind all of the time. But if I ever went too far I took a step back, I made it up to you the best way I knew how. Did I not ask you to be my wife? Does that not show my love? What is it that I did not do? I am only a man Mia! I slip up! What more can I say but that I need you, that I want you. Come back to me, lay in my bed, hold my hand, kiss my lips as you had in the past. Be my wife me Mia. Don’t run from me, I will keep you safe; I will not lie to you.


Love,
Tom

Tom,

I don’t know why I read what you send me; all I end up with is wet eyes and a head full of fog. You make me feel like a fool, like a liar, like the shit I felt was all in my head. But I am no liar Tom. You were cold and hard in ways that can’t be paid off with a ring or a date or a kind word. The hurt is too long and too deep for us to go back in time now, we can only move on from here. I can see that you are not the one for me and I am not the one for you, even if you can’t.
I will not deal with this one more day, I will not hold onto you the way that you seem to hold onto me. I will burn any note you send me, I will not take any call, and if you show up at my door I will not see you. Get a new life Tom, find a new girl and show her the love you say you can show to me.
I wish you all the best.

-Mia

Publication Date: 04-20-2012

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