Broken Heartbeat, Tammy Case [most difficult books to read .txt] 📗

The door closed behind me, latch clicking as I leaned against it.
I squeezed my eyes shut. My hand slowly released its grip on the doorknob, and wound into my hair instead. Just one more night. Once more before I locked away the memories and the hopes forever. I could give myself another night of sweet torture, and then it had to be finished.
I opened my eyes and crossed the room. Softly my fingers traced the window frame before resting on the lock. The lock that had never been latched, just in case.
My other hand made a fist and pressed against my mouth, as I thought back to the few physical mementos I had owned. Some pictures, a CD-not much, never comparing to the real thing, but just as lost to me. I would give anything to have them now, to sweeten the pain as I let my heart open and crack again. But they were gone. As he was. Away to his distractions and ethereal pastimes...
No. Not the right kind of torture. Tonight we were focusing on the desires of the soul, not the harsh truths of the mind. Reality did not enter into this equation.
I forced the window open, feeling it groan and stutter, reluctant to move after so long. Standing there as I stared out into the empty night, I denied what I knew deep down. A tear gently rolled down my cheek. He was never coming back. But just for tonight, I would tell myself he could be out there. Maybe tonight he was waiting to be let into my room again, ready to take me into his marble embrace.
Kneeling, I laid my chin on my arms, folded on the windowsill as I watched the wind play in the tree outside my window. There was no stopping the tears now. Maybe it wasn't a good idea, letting my heart have this night...
I stretched one arm out into the darkness, hand reaching, eyes closed. I willed for a cold hand to grasp it. Pressing my face into my wet sleeve, I knew the touch wouldn't come, but I hoped, deep in my broken heart. I longed for those arms to hold me close again. I always would.
Shaking with sobs, I crushed myself against the wall. At the same time, I was shoving my arm as far out the window as I could. But I had to try, just a little farther, reaching out just a bit more... He had to be there. Had to. I loved him. He couldn't leave me alone like this, when I needed him.
One arm curled tightly against my body. The other dug into the sill, losing circulation in my desperation to reach a soul whose longing matched mine.
But he wasn't coming. Not anymore.
"Edward," I whispered, my voice hoarse. "Please. Just-please." Through teary eyes, I could almost see a shadow moving through the trees. Then I blinked, and it was gone, a part of the night again.
I dragged my arm back through the window as I collapsed. I clung to myself, pressing my cheek against a gently creaking floorboard. "Edward."
I stayed there until my sobs eventually quieted. Exhausted, I listened for the unlikely footfall among the sounds of the night, but all I heard was the beat of my broken heart. Slowly I put the memories back, one by one, behind their rusty lock.

Publication Date: 01-24-2011

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