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my chest, I stared her in the eyes, already heated. ”“You don’t want Tommy? I didn’t ask you if you wanted him, Atty, I just asked what’s with all the questions.”

I watched as her eyes darted everywhere, landing on everything except the one speaking to her. Feeling those flames go higher in my body, I bellowed, ”“What the fuck! I hate that shit! Just spit out what you got to say.” Everyone within my vacinity who heard me turned wide eyes upon me. I felt even more rage, as I stared at them. Athena’s tone came out quick, terrified, ”“I got to go. I’ll talk to you later, V.” She stated, rushing away from me.

 

I walked across the room, enraged. Not really sure as to why I was as angry as I was, but I was so angry, I wanted to just go pound someone in their face. I don’t know why she brought up Tamarah or Tommy but I did know that which ever one of those two I saw first was going to explain to me what the hell has been going on and why it seemed something was going on with them too. Did they truly hate each other as they said they did? Or were they both plotting against me? Plotting to make me look like a fool? As I thought about this, I felt another thing come into place over the anger, something even more poignant. Fear.

 

It turned my insides to mush and I felt tears well up in my eyes. Did Tommy want Tamarah? Did she want him? The thought of the two closest people pulling a Julius Caesar on me hurt. It made me feel as if I could die. Tamarah knew how much I cared for Tommy. She knew how much I wanted to be with him, how much I wanted him for myself. Up until that point, I hadn’t thought of the anguish at the possibility of someone taking him from me. I swallowed, my throat burning as the tears fell. Tamarah was the one girl in the school whom I’d always thought was prettier than me, skinnier than me, more beautiful than I am. 

 

The principle keep your enemies close and your friends closer applied to us. Tamarah and I started out as rivals in second grade. We didn’t like each other but that was only because she and I considered the other competition. She was the only girl who’d won my respect by the fact that when she wanted something she went after it and usually got it. However, I couldn’t stomach the thought of her going after the one I’d wanted. In elementary school Tommy wasn’t all that cute. In fact, he’d been the least attractive boy in class, especially with the fact that he wasn’t from our side of town.

 

However, in middle school he’d transformed into one of the cutest guys in school. I had started out trying to get close to him so that I could date him, but I really ended up liking his character. To some he seemed arrogant, disgusting and dismissive when comparing others to himself, but the guy on the inside that I saw was a person who didn’t let anyone tell him he wasn’t worth nothing, when he was. He was very courageous.

 

I’ve never seen a guy get up and dance to Michael Jackson in the seventh grade talent show the way he had and not only that, but he was the type of guy who kept his feelings to himself. But just because he had never said it didn’t mean he didn’t love me. Most guys like him aren’t the type to say I love you. They usually just show it. Although he hadn’t said it I knew and understood that he loved me. He had too. There was no way we’d be together as long as we have and he not love me. 

 

 

Chapter Seven:

 

Tommy walked into third hour Geometry and took his usual seat next to Vanessa. Leaning into her, he dropped a quick kiss on her lips, giving her a greeting. Vanessa took one look at him and felt her heart drop into her stomach. He was so handsome with his thick curly hair cornrowed into neat braids going toward the back of his head. His dark eyes glistened with desire in them as he looked at her. He was a guy easily able to rival the height of her father at sixteen, but was more broad shoulder and thicker in build than he was. Tommy was made like a line backer, but he was the quarter back on the football team she and twelve other girls cheered for.

 

Because Tommy did not possess the IQ of an average student, he often struggled in subjects like Math, Science, English and History, but excelled in sports. He was the type of guy who could play any sports and usually did, depending on the season. He also was a very popular student. Not only because of his excel in sports, but because he was a very handsome teen. Girls wanted to be with him and boys wanted to be him, especially because he had her. Vanessa never paid much attention, but the boys in their school all found her attractive. Her beauty was often enhanced to the young guys who saw the heart shaped face with green eyes that she sported. There was full lips with a thick curly mass of hair that made the girls envious. Because of her mixed heritage, Tommy knew that other guys had talked about her beautiful shape. She had an hour glass figure that drove most of the guys crazy, but she didn’t notice because he’d always been the apple of her eye. This caused him to smile. Besides having a great body, beautiful sexy eyes and a sweet smile, he loved the fact that she was loyal and that she was dedicated to him. This he’d tested on more than one occasion. He’d set up meetings with other guys on her behalf for a good year now and each time she’d turned them down. These were people he knew but she didn’t. He even sent one on a night before their date. Although he’d arrived earlier than she had to their favorite restaurant, he had sat in the back and watched as she waited for him. His friend had gone up to her, spoken to her, flirted and even made an effort to sit down, but she told him that she was waiting for her boyfriend and that he would not appreciate another man in his seat.

 

When he tried to be more persistent, she put her foot down and told him that she was not interested and if he didn’t move, she would alert the wait staff to his unwanted advances. Tommy had smiled then, because he’d seen not just her faithfulness, but her passion. Her passion was unrivaled in their school. This, he’d known because he could see the many relationships that broke up over many things, most of them silly, but she’d stuck with him. This is why he hated the thought of loosing her. This is why he knew he needed to do what ever it took to keep her, because she was a beautiful woman and even though he’d messed up with her best-friend, he didn’t want anyone else to have her. At-least not until he got to taste and feel and make love to every inch of her body. She was a voluptuous young woman and he wanted to show her just how beautiful she was to him, kiss those beautiful lips. Look into those stunning eyes and hold her the way a man should.

 

As he stared, he felt his body respond to her as it normally did. His heart beat sped up, blood flowed hard through his veins and his body ached in places only she would be able to fill.

As he daydreamed about this, his heart swelled with so many different emotions. He could feel her skin on his mouth. There was nothing more he wanted than Vanessa. This was enough to cause him grief over the fact that he’d slept with Tamarah, even though it wasn’t too bad. He’d never suspected that she would be as inexperienced as she had been, but she was and this had surprised him. Though he’d slept with her, the only part of her he’d seen was the part of her he’d been intimate with. She was definitely beautiful, but when compared to Vanessa, she dimmed. Vanessa was so beautiful it made him breathless. He had always liked her, even in their elementary school years, enamored with her beauty.

 

Vanessa had been the only nice girl to him during their elementary years, which made it easier for him to care for her the way he did. Before he’d become obsessed with claiming her, she’d been such a sweetheart. Since third grade, he’d done what ever he could to make her like him. She’d always been nice to him. He had in sixth grade thought he’d been in love with her, because she was his most prized possession. Although his friendship with her was nothing too close, he found her nice, easy to talk to and he loved making her laugh, just to see that beautiful smile.

 

As he thought of this, he remembered how he’d had problems with her dating another guy in 7th grade. Some guy named Adam. He couldn’t stand hearing her talk about Adam. It felt like she was taking a hammer and nailing at his heart with it. He vowed that year, that during the summer he would reinvent himself. He’d show her how much she meant to him, how much he wanted her. When he came back to school eighth grade year, no one recognized him for who’d he’d been previously. He’d cleaned up well and Vanessa had taken one look at him and it was then he knew that he’d have her. If it was the last thing he did, she’d be his. All of that beauty would be his.

 

As time went on and they began to hang out, he found out that there was more to her than meet the eye. She was so smart that she got bored with the stuff they did in school. She’d also offered to help tutor him in classes if he needed it. It was because of her that his grades had improved too.

Now as he glanced over at her, he felt the thumping get louder in his chest. He now understood the ramifications of what he’d done with Tamarah. With Vanessa, sex wouldn’t just be sex, it would be something more profound and the idea that he’d sabotaged that by being with Tamarah made him scared. He had to find a way to fix this, fix it quickly before it got out.

 

Vanessa had wanted to ask him about Tamarah, but every-time, those dark honey nut colored eyes looked at her, she felt her breath catch in her throat and her stomach fill with butterflies form in the pit of her stomach. She knew that this was a normal stage of hormonal development in teenagers during these years. According to the book she’d read on hormonal development, teenage boys were at their peak for sexual awareness. The part that made her feel shamed was the fact that she had been thinking more and more sexual thoughts about Tommy and her fire was just as lit as his. It was times like these when those beautiful brown eyes lit, that she wanted to just hand herself over to him, but every time she thought that, she could hear her mother’s voice in the back of her head saying don’t bring me home any babies and that boy only wants you for your body. Vanessa sighed, She could only hope that wasn’t true.

 

Tamarah walked around for the rest of the day in a haze. After she’d spoken with Timothy in the library, first

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