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to my thoughts.

“Yes, I am.” I stated.

“What did I say?” She inquired.

I rambled my brain, coming up empty handed. “um...”

“Yeah, as I said, you weren’t listening.”

I laughed, waving my hands at her, admitting the truth. “Alright, I’m listening now. What were you saying?”

“Never mind. While you were in la-la land, we’ve already made it to your house.”

I sighed, “I’m sorry, T- I just got momentarily distracted thinking about my own parents.”

“oh, ok. Well, I’m going to head on home. I guess I will talk to you later. I feel beat.”

“School will do that to you.”

“Parents just don’t understand how demanding school is. Getting up at the crack of dawn, staying in school all day and then coming home. That’s a full time job.”

I laughed, “Tell me about it. They think they got it hard. At-least they can do what ever they want.”

“That’s not always the best.”

“I would give everything I am for a little bit of breathing room. My mom can be overbearing sometimes. But, I have to go now, because I’m supposed to get in right after school.”

“The Vanessa I know would be going in kicking and screaming.”I laughed. “Normally I would, but my mom was just way too nice this morning. I want to see why she was.”

“Alright then, I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

 

I watched a smile cover Tamarah’s face. During times like this, I felt a bit inferior to her because when Tamarah smiled, her opal colored eyes sparkled and her smile was so beautiful it stopped everyone in their track. She was a beautiful shade of chocolate that was like a dark maple wood seeped in rain. WWhich contrasted with my popcorn colored skin tone. Where my hair was naturally curly and wiry all over, hers had been permed straight, something- get this- my father refused to allow me to do. He has an obsession with black people’s hair, especially my mother’s, which is weird because although she keeps hers long, it’s a lot more tightly coiled than mine and often times when washed fluff out to a big bush! Literally. I bet you could probably hide a flower plant in her hair, that’s just how thick and long it is. It goes down past her shoulders now. Mine only goes to the very top of my shoulders, because I get it trimmed every two months, at-least he let me do that. Taking in Tamarah’s hair, her eyes looked like slits compared to mine, I would say she definitely looked every bit of her of her Native American and African ancestry. She was stunningly beautiful. Now, I wouldn’t say this about any other girl, but she is my best friend and I can admit that. Anyhow, I wave to Tamarah, telling her goodbye and then go into the house. As soon as I arrive in the house, I am glancing around the kitchen with bulging eyes, confused because I know mom would never leave the house like this. Breakfast dishes were piled up in the sink. The kitchen table still had the condiments from breakfast left on it, even the butter had dripped over the table and was running over now. As I took a step closer to inspect further, I slid a little and had to balance myself to keep from falling. Glancing down, I saw that the butter had melted onto the floor and currently there was a long streak fallowing where I’d slid. I glanced over at lunch dishes that had been left on the table and felt vexed. This is why she was nice to me this morning. She was planning to leave the mess for me to clean up when I got home.

 

Closing my eyes and inhaling sharply, I walked away from the kitchen to take my things through the stairwell that was located off the kitchen to my bedroom upstairs. When I got to my room, I hung my bag on a hook attached to the back of the closet door and placed my coat on a hanger. Glancing around my room, I found solace in the fact that my domain remained comfortable, my things untouched and as I had left them this morning. This was a benefit I could see to being grounded. I actually had my own privacy. Letting out a sigh, I turned to my door and glanced at it. It looked weird. I stared, trying to figure out what the difference was, when finally the difference dawned on me. The door, which usually was closed and had a glittering sign stating for everyone to knock when entering was gone. I laughed at this. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

 

Going to the door, I grasped for the portion of it that normally allowed me to pull the door close while sliding on its track. There was no smooth groove that my hand could pull it out of. I couldn’t believe this. Out of all the times mom had gotten mad at me, never, ever had she taken my door off. I felt for the wooden panel that locked the door to keep it form coming out. There was none. My hand ran along the the frame of the door. “MOM!!!!” I screamed out in confusion, panic and furry. If there was anything a teenage girl needed, it was her privacy.

~ ~

“Mom, I’m home!” Tamarah yelled as she entered the house, although she knew there would be no answer. There was never an answer, only empty silence. The big two story condo she shared with her mother was more of a home to her than it was to her mother, since her mother couldn’t manage home life from work life.

“I thought you should know that I aced my Chemistry test today!” Tamarah stated to no one in particular. She threw her book bag over in a corner of the immaculate living-room, and flopped down on the mauve colored leather sofa and grabbed the remote. Turning on the 50” flat screen television that was mounted to the wall, she turned it to her favorite show. Full house, a show that had ended in the nineties but still was popular on CBS and NBC. Her favorite character on the show was Kimmy, who was a lot like her in the sense that she constantly lived over the Tanners house. The Tanners were a family that was run by a father, his step brother and best friend, who helped the father take care of his three daughters.

 

Tamarah loved this show because it was so funny and although the family was a little strange, it beat sitting in the house by herself, with nothing to do. She found comfort in having the television on, at-least then it looked like someone was home. As she giggled throughout the episode playing, she found her thoughts drifting to the party Saturday night and to what had occurred between her and Tommy. She hated herself for giving in to what he wanted. She considered herself to be better than that. More than just that though, she hated having to look at Vanessa and speak to her knowing what she’d done with her boyfriend. She already knew that if Vanessa found out, she would cut off their friendship. She would cut off Tommy and for some weird reason, Tamarah had the faintest idea that Tommy would go crazy. What Vanessa saw as love and compassion, Tamarah saw as unadulterated rage.

 

Vanessa would have a stalker on her hands if the truth was ever to be revealed to her. However, even as she thought this, the idea of her friend sharing herself with Tommy upset her because she saw that what he felt for Vanessa was lust. Pure and simple. He just wanted her because he was obsessed with her. She let off a shiver, and got up from her seat as the episode she’d been watching ended and a Crest toothpaste commercial played.

 

As she went into the kitchen to make herself something to eat, she contemplated between telling Vanessa and not telling her, especially since either way she would see the real Tommy emerge. Going to the fridge, she grabbed the small package of chicken she’d set out the night before and took it to the sink.

 

After washing the chicken in clear water, she set the pieces on paper towel and dried them. As she waited for them to dry, she went through a flour container that was part of a set of four jar glasses and then grabbed several seasonings from the cabinet. Afterward, she turned on an aisle on the stove, watching as the pilot lit automatically. She placed a cast iron skillet on the burner and filled it halfway with oil. After using the season in moderation, being sure to coat the entire chicken, she dipped it in flour and returned back to the oil which now was sizzling in the pan. Placing the chicken in the hot oil, she filled the entire pan with the four pieces of chicken she’d coated before turning the burner down to a medium high heat to allow it to cook.

 

While she did that she put on a pan of water for rice. She gathered rice from it’s container. After five minutes, the water was brought to a boil. Taking the measured cup of rice, she emptied it into the pan. The green beans were taken out, fresh from the freezer, she put them in a pan and put half a stick of butter in them and allowed them to saute with minced onion and garlic and with salt and pepper for extra flavor. This completed the ensemble for her meal. Fried chicken, rice and green beans for dinner.

 

She’d been cooking for all but ten minutes when there was a knock at her door. Clearing her throat, she walked out of the sizable kitchen and back through the living room, her feet soft on the cream colored carpeting. Going to the door, she inquired, “Who’s there?”

“It'’s me Tommy.” A voice stated from the other end.

“What are you doing here?” She inquired, curious to know. “How did you find out where I live?” If there was anything she knew, Tamarah had never had Tommy over to her house before. Not by invitation, nor by complementary of Vanessa.

A sigh was heard as a voice cleared. “I need to talk to you.”“How did you get my address?” She asked.

“The phone book.” He replied, Tamarah put a hand on her hip and removed the chain from the door, opening it. Looking him square in the eyes, she said, “My address isn’t listed in the phone book, so how did you get it?”

He sniffed twice and wiped his hand over his nose. Glancing at Tamarah with red bloodshot looking eyes, he said, “I looked it up.”

“”You looked it up? Why? I don’t want you knowing where I live at.”

“I just came over here to make sure that everything was ok between you and me.”

Tamarah’s hand went to her hip and she frowned both brows at him. “Ok between you and me? Tommy, this is bull shit. You know I don'’t like you, so why you come over here like this?”

“I just wanna know if you told Vanessa about what happened with us.”

“Get out.” Tamarah stated, her tone firm. She found him severely irritating and he looked as if something was wrong with him.

Tommy reached out and grabbed Tamarah’s arm, “All I want to know is if you told Vanessa anything, now did you?” His voice became louder on the “did you” part, almost irrational.

Tamarah pulled her arm back, giving her response in the process, “Naw I didn’t tell her, so you can go now.”

He stepped close to her, his eyes darting back and forth aimlessly, as if trying to decide if she was telling the truth. “You ain’t lying are you?”

“Tommy get out my house man, my mom’s going to be here any minute.”

“Let me know you’re being straight up and I’ll leave.”

Tamarah rolled her eyes. “I didn’t, now get out of here. It’ll be

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