lost love, elizabeth fritz [audio ebook reader .TXT] 📗

 The week passed quick. Luke and I had a lot of catching up, and that was about done. But you all must be aching to know what was going on with me and Michael meanwhile.

It was Saturday. I hadn't really seen him since the last time I saw him, which was a while ago. We did talk briefly on the phone, or have dead text conversations... but that was it.

He either finally realised he missed me, or maybe realised how desperate I was for his attention(after I sent him numerous amounts of voice mail in which I cried like a baby, when he wasn't answering my calls. Ehmm.) because finally we were going on a date! Like a proper date. And this time it was his plan, and he wasn't cancelling. He said he would pick me up at five and we would go bowling and then have coffee together at our favourite cafe. But I insisted I would come over to his house instead and we could go together from there so that I was sure he wouldn't bail on me or 'forget' again. I was overwhelmed. Seriously.

At three o'clock I started to freak out. I was obviously sure that he was falling out of love with me. I needed to get that back. I wanted him to love me. I didn't want to lose him. I needed to make sure everything was perfect. But too bad because the dress I picked out for tonight was tight.

"HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE BECAUSE I'M FAT. I'M FAT!" I yelled at myself in the mirror, naked, examining my fat body. Where did I go wrong? How did I not realise this? I jumped on to my weighing scale. I had gained. I had definitely gained three pounds.

The next half hour I spent curled up in a ball, on my bed, locked inside my room, wailing and wailing. I was in the middle of my wail, when Luke called me. I picked up and wailed through the line, meaning to say 'Hello'.

"Shannon? Again?" he didn't sound surprised.
"Y-yeah, it's m-me." I croaked, forcing myself to suck it up. I know I was crying for stupid reasons but my hypothalamus thought otherwise...
He sighed. Crying was usual for me now. I cried a lot. He was used to it now. "Fine, I'm coming." he muttered before hanging up.

Few minutes later he was over. I had convinced my brain that I was okay. My eyes were still swollen though. Luke invited himself inside my room and closed it behind him, plumping down next to me. "What did he do this time? I swear, if you weren't this crazy about him I would go up there and-"
"I'm fat!" I blurted, interrupting him.
"Huh?" He blinked.
I tossed my dress at his face. "It doesn't fit me! I gained three pounds!"
"Thats ridiculous. Three pounds isn't enough to make a difference on your shape. You look great."
"No I dont! I had it all planned out. I was going to wear this dress with those heels and braid my hair like this and use this colour lipgloss but now I'm so fat and he's never going to love me and-"
"Shannon." he held me by my shoulders. There was a pause where he made eye contact with me. "You. Look. Great."
I was compelled. "Thanks. I mean yeah, okay...." I gave in. "But the dress?"
"Screw the dress! You have a million in there!" he pointed to my cupboard. "You look stunning in every single one of them and if you think he doesn't realise that..." he trailed off and sighed. "Just wear something else, I promise. I'm telling you as a guy, not as a friend. You're hot and it's obvious."

The little talk with Luke convinced me I was okay and then at four o clock I arrived at Michael's house, wearing something totally unplanned, but I guess it was okay because I looked even better in this dress than the one that wouldn't fit.

He answered the door on the second ring. When he opened the door, we just looked at eachother for six seconds before he smiled. "Right on time."
He took me up to his room. He wasn't dressed yet. I sat on his bed comfortably and waited for him to get ready in the bathroom. As I was waiting I heard his phone buzz. Coincidentally it was right next to me. No, I shouldn't. That's just rude. No way to build trust. But I couldn't keep my mind off it. It kept buzzing.
Finally I picked it up and looked at the caller ID. Confused, I picked up and pressed it against my ear.
"Oh, finally, Michael. I've been calling for so long. So when is your little date going to end? Are you planning on ending it today? Just come by when you're done with her!"
I dared not say a word. I hung up right away and pushed the phone aside, looking disgusted. "Kelly."

"Did you say something babe?" Michael walked out of the bathroom, dressed now, heading over to get his phone. He looked at me. "Looks like you saw a ghost."

"I might have."

As we got into his car, we decided to skip bowling and head on to the cafe. I didn't feel like bowling. I just couldn't look at him. Was I being cheated on? It was starting to make sense now. I wasn't going to mention that to him though.

We took a seat in the booth, sitting across from each other. He placed his hand on mine. "You sure you're okay? I know I've been a jerk to you these past few days. I'm really sorry.. It's just that-"

Oh crap. Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap. He was breaking up with me. I needed to stop it. I couldn't let this happen, not like this. I needed to do something and fast.

"I forgive you!" I blurted. He looked taken aback. "I get it. You have other things to do, you have a life. I totally trust you and I get it. I love you Michael." Making him feel guilty.

"I.. Love you too." he murmured and kissed my hand, not taking his eyes off it for a moment.

There, that should give me some time to figure this out.

Later that night Michael dropped me home, and walked me to the porch like he usually did. "So.."
I looked at him. "So?"
"Good night?"
"Is that a question?"
"I don't know?"
"All right then." I stood up on my tip-toes and pressed a kiss against his lips. His hands appeared on my hips. I worked on bringing him closer, slipping my arms arouns his neck. I usually wouldn't let him get more than that but I was desperate. He was slipping away from me. I deepened it up and encouraged him to go further. It was definitely working because there was no sign of him wanted to pull away from me. Instead he was holding me closer. Boys, smh.
Gradually it died out and we parted away. "Goodnight." I whispered and then he left.

I called Luke. "I need you to accompany me. I have a plan."

 We followed Michael to a place unknown.

We stayed close behind him, but far enough so that he didn't notice us following him. We kept driving for about ten minutes until he came to a stop.

"Why are we doing this again?" Luke grunted.
"To find out if he's really cheating on me."

Luke had found this whole situation hilarious. He couldn't stop laughing after I filled him up on the news.

Now we were here, and we would just have to watch and wait. But where were we? I'd never been to this place before. It was a small house that he walked into. We waited five minutes but he didn't come out.

"So can we leave now?" Luke asked.
"No! You have to go in there!" I looked at him.
"Me?! I can't barge into someone's house like that!"
"But I have to know what he's doing.. And I can't go! Whar if he sees me?"

After some more arguing I convinced him to go.

When he came back a few minutes later he reported the news. "Didn't see or hear much. He's with a girl, definitely. Don't know who or why."
"What! Why didn't you check?" He was coming my way! I had to get out of there. Can't be sure he's cheating on you though.
"So it wasn't Kelly?" I asked.
"No idea."

With that we went back home.

I couldn't get much sleep last night, but I got enough to wake up early the next morning. I went through my phone. No new messages. I sighed and called Emily. I talked to her about everything that's been going on.((Ahhhhhhhhh i Can't think of what to put here. I mean, I know what I want to happen next but I don't know how to get ther. i hate thisssssss))

((And it's gone. Later guys.))

 his had all transformed into a hideous sort of irony, wouldn't you say? Who was he to me? A friend, if not nothing at all? A few months ago I could never imagine, not in a million years, in a different dimension or in another life, that this existing, living, breathing nothing, would be the one keeping me up at nights. The one making me giddy inside. The one that I tried to look my best for. The one that made me happy. The one that I would love. The One.

It all comes down to that day. That day when he forcibly made me go out with him. When he insisted that we should kiss goodnight. When he fooled me into thinking he loved me. If it weren't for that night, I would never be in this wreck as I was now. I would be the normal, sane teenager who didn't force her neighbour to break into someone's property.

The funny thing is, I never showed interest in him. But he still tried his best to make this work. I kept trying to find a way out, a nice way out. And somehow, suddenly the situation reversed. I fell head-over-heels in love with him and slowly, he reversed and drove away from me.

BUT