The Bad Few Season 1, Tai Goodman [ebook reader with built in dictionary .TXT] 📗
- Author: Tai Goodman
Book online «The Bad Few Season 1, Tai Goodman [ebook reader with built in dictionary .TXT] 📗». Author Tai Goodman
When I stand absolutely still, nobody tries to hit me. That's priceless. I stopped trying 2 years after I discovered that trait."
SIXTH PERIOD
Tai: "Theatre... I joined theatre so I could learn about movies because I want to make films when I grow up into a mature Asian human plebian being."
Tai sat down at an empty round table, and noticed Malle was sitting at one from a far distance. "Oohh.. Yes." He shifted over to her table, and a gay East-German multipersonally single and white male sat down at the table. This creature's name was Gabriel Langston. "Hey there, faggot." Tai snickered back, "Hello faggot keeper."
He placed his bottom into the seat and then some morbidly depressing multipersonal slutty woman sat in the chair. "Now Malle, I never expected you to be in this class. But I sure did expect you two in here, because chorus people do the exact same thing in here that they do in there; Sing, dance, and do drugs backstage."
"Yep, that's exactly what this is," Gabriel inquired.
Gabriel: "Yes, I know Tai way back to when he didn't know me. Will Owens, an emo faggot who was here in 7th and moved, introduced me to him in 6th. Tai thought he said that my name was 'Gay' and not 'Gabe.' He was in Mr. Tapscott's last year, we barely did sh**. Most of his class was just purely Minecraft and more arguing. So I don't really know if he's my friend or not. Nah."
Tai: "The overall description of Gabriel is the first syllable in his name. That's all the crap you gotta know."
Malle looked across at Tai. "Tai, why are you in here, you suck at public stunts."
"I haven't done any public stunts."
"EXACTLY."
"I just got here and already something gay happened!" Gabriel insulted the two.
"I just got here and already someone gay attended this class! WOWWWW!" Tai announced in his face. "Oh, go to hell, Tai, everyone despises you more than they hate me." The theatre instructor arrived. "Hello, everybody! I'm Mr. Alley, and welcome to Theatre. AKA, Theatre Arts and Fundamentals I. Is everyone here that is supposed to be here?"
The entire class answered, "Yes sir."
"Bravissimo! So, let's go over the requirements, here's the syllabus." He passed out a paper with a plethora of words on it. When Tai received his, he rolled it into a ball and aimed for the trashcan. "ALRIGHT, so on your syllabus-"
Tai unraveled his paper wad.
"-you have all of your required school supplies."
Tai: "*rolls up syllabus* F*** supplies, all you need is your imagination!"
"Now I need the syllabus signed by Friday-"
Tai: "*unrolls syllabus* ARRRRGH!"
SEVENTH PERIOD
Tai was stopped at the doorway by the teacher. "Hi, what's your name?"
"My name is Jeff."
'Alright I'm sick and tired of that joke, who are you really?"
"Taiwan Christian Caramello Camelle Georgius Harrison Menosa Goodman, but you can call me Big Johnson!" Tai told the instructor. "How about we call you 'Tai'?"
Tai's face morphed into a frown. "Yes. Fine. My name is Tai."
"You are in... Seat #21, right next to Silvia."
"DEAR CHRIST. What's her last name?"
"Huerta."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Tai: "Silvia Huerta is a very boring teenager in my biology class, and I knew her for 3 years now, I guess. Silvia is one of those Fortnite players that do not conversate about Fortnite. She is perfect. But when with another individual named Eddie Jerkof- I MEAN, Jenkins, she is the exact level of Donkey in Shrek."
Tai sat next to Silvia. "Hey-"
"OHMYGOSH, TAI GET AWAY FROM ME, I'M TEXTING!"
"Sure. Yeah. Alright. What else would I expect?"
BUS LINE
AFTER SCHOOL
Tai: "You know, at the end of the day, high school isn't that bad. But a big portion of me is water. That part has no feelings or motivation. The rest of me is everything else, the part with feelings and crap. That one part makes me think that Tift County High School sucks ba-"
THE BAD FEW EPISODE 1
BY TAI GOODMAN
Episode 2: Assembly Meeting
LUNCHTIME
“So that’s why Fortnite sucks and it should be erased from Earth, it stinks and belongs in Davy Jones’ locker along with Call of Duty Ghosts-”
Then a student with a shaved head and Chromebook case sat at Tai’s table. “Hey guys!”
“Ugh… Hey Austin.”
Tai: “Austin- or DANIEL Dawley is somewhat smart, yet carries heavy C minuses on his report card. And every year he’s more wild and offensive than the last time. So it’s not really Austin Dawley, that’s the monster that ate him and the previous monster that lives in Austin Dawley’s house and wears his clothes. And inherits and worsens his behavior.”
“Austin, what do you want?”
“Nothing, I just wanted to sit down by you guys.”
John said out of the blue, “Git down by you suys, what?”
Everybody just stared at him, idle. That joke wasn’t funny as he thought it was. “So, ANYWAYS, let’s continue the argument concerning the fact how you look like Bruce Willis..”
“F*** you, man.”
“Hey! Don’t make fun of Austin for his below 100 IQ and Goodwill clothing.” Austin held out his hand in disbelief. “THAT ENTIRE SENTENCE WAS REDUNDANT!”
“Your face is redundant,” John retaliated back at the weird student.
Austin got a disappointing frown on his face as the entire table went,
“OOOOOHHH!!”
“Oh my god, how’s he gonna recover from that?”
“Jesus that was brutal.”
Then the entire lunchroom joined in. All that could be heard audibly was:
“OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!”
“I hate you guys,” Austin said.
THE BAD FEW
BY TAI GOODMAN
BASED OFF OF REALITY
FIRST PERIOD
Malle walked into Mrs. Garrick's room and sighed. As she sat her books down, she thought of everybody else's experience with first period.
Malle: "Mrs. Garrick's class is lit.. When it's not extinguished. If you haven't caught on, lit means cool."
Gabriel pulled out his Geometry A binder, as Mrs. Fonsah stepped inside. The bell buzzed throughout the school. "Welcome back, everybody! How is transportation around the school?"
"Pretty crowded."
"Definitely could be better."
"I walked into the girl's bathroom and not 201."
"Oh.. Well, I'm sure next semester or 9 weeks you'll get the hang of it." Gabriel shook his head and with his binder blocking his face and hands, he got on his phone. There was a new email from Gabriel VanBrackle, another student he knows well. The email read: "dude this sucks".
He unlocked his phone, and responded to the message with, "I know but Fonsah is pretty nice," then the teacher was standing right in front of his head. "Gabriel, whatcha doing?" she spoke, with a very suspicious grin. "I was replying to an email from one of my friends." Mrs. Fonsah chuckled and little bit and said, "You know, we have a rule in most of the math rooms, no phones can be out!"
She reached for his phone, and he gladly gave it to her.
Gabriel: "I'm dead inside now."
Tai pulled out his Spanish I notebook. One of his classmates, David, crossed by and noticed it. "What you got there, Tai? Naked women pictures?"
"I'm not a lowlife or Eric Forman, so no. These are Spanish I notes."
"OOOOOOOH, cheating! I caught yo ass!"
Tai frowned in disappointment.
THIRD PERIOD
Tai and Gabriel were both in World History at the time, along with Jacob. Though, all three were in separate classes. Tai was in Dr. Fandel's, Jacob was in the woman next door's, the two had AP World History. And Gabriel had regular, in a classroom across from the two.
Dr. Fandel, and Jacob's teacher stood out of their podiums and said, "Okay, let's get started. So, I'm passing out a bunch of AMSCO Books. AMSCO stands for-"
Tai: "A Mediocre Significantly Crap Object."
Jacob: "American Murder Society Containing Old men."
"And you must take 2 notes- I mean pages, of notes. Not front and back, just the front. You'll find the resources and instructions on Schoology. I need them every week, on Friday."
Tai: "This is a class for insane lunatics, I don't belong here."
Jacob: "Man I got sh** to do! I can't be doing this at home, man! I gotta... Uh... OKAY fine, I just wanna play Fortnite at home. I wanna level up my character before the next season!"
The two handed out big mini-textbooks.
Tai: "This book just reads 'firewood.'"
Jacob: "This book is never going to be opened anytime soon."
HOMEROOM
Tai: "Homeroom is a classroom full of slow people. I'm not slow. But due to alphabetical order, me and the G's and some H's stay in the chemistry room with a Slovokian chemistry instructor who sounds like dracula's wife. I will give anybody five bucks if they ask her to say, "Bleh bleh bleh!""
Tai slowly walked into the room. "Great. Now I gotta sit here for 30 minutes."
He placed himself down in a seat. Minutes into class...
"So, good morning! Today's lesson is over... Is over.. Oh, it's over being ready, responsible, and respectful."
Tai: "Oh, I'M SORRY! I thought the three R's were: Rock music, rear ends, and retirement."
Then she showed the whole room and incredibly weird and useless video starring last year's student council members.
On the screen..
A girl was walking through the hallway with a flashlight. "What in the hell is this?" Tai thought to himself. Then she walked by two girls with an unlit lightbulb. She shined the flashlight into the bulbs.
Tai was in the back of the room, snickering and trying not to laugh. "Here, take some light," said the 'protagonist.'
"AWWWW, THAAAANNNKSSS!!!"
Tai then broke character and started laughing.
"Attention students and teachers, pardon the interruption, all freshmen or class of 2022. Please report to the lunchroom for the assembly introducing you to Tift County High School. I repeat, all freshmen please report to the lunchroom for the assembly."
COMMONS
Tai sat down at a table with the rest. "What's this all about?" John questioned the rest. "I think this is about how we're gonna help Jimmy Carter build gnomes for kids with empty lawns," said Tai.
“Hello all students, I’m your Principal, Kim Siegler. Welcome to Tift County High School, umm… WE are doing this today because we wanted you to get a hang of your new classes. The school’s pretty big now that we added you to this branch.”
John showed Jacob a meme he made, incredibly under 15 seconds. It was a meme of Martin Luther King Jr. doing his famous speech, but with it defaced by Kim Siegler’s head replacing his.
Jacob smiled and went back to watching his Fortnite YouTube video. “Now, here at Tift County High School, we believe in ourselves and take pride in what we do.”
Tai: “That’s a lie.”
“So that’s why we have certain counselors for certain people. Alphabetical order is what your counselor is based on.”
Tai looked at the big Prometheum board’s screen. His last name, Goodman, fell in between E’s and G’s. He had a man named Jean Guzman. “Oh boy.”
Tai: “I know Coach Guzman from primary school, he wasn’t there forever but he was there for kindergarten and 1st. I barely understood or heard a word he said.”
“Now, what are the 3 R’s? I know you all came from homeroom!”
Jacob guessed, “Rob, rape, and run?”
John said, “Redo, restart, and reboot. 100%.”
Tai said, “Respectful, responsible, and some other crap.”
“It’s RESPECTFUL-”
Dylan: “Nope, don’t like that.”
“...responsible…”
Dylan: “Nah, don’t really like that!”
“...AND READY!”
Dylan: “No, I don’t like that!”
“So… Any questions?”
The entire lunchroom shook their heads no. “Great, now you may all go to 4th period.”
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