The Bad Few Season 1, Tai Goodman [ebook reader with built in dictionary .TXT] 📗

monologues!"

"Sure."

Gabriel got up and starting walking. "GABE, WHAT'RE YOU WAITING FOR? CHINESE NEW YEAR? GO GO GO!" Tai and Gabriel exited the classroom. "Alright, so... Uh..."

Tai slid downwards against the wall with his hands on his face. "I messed up pretty bad. Didn't I." Gabriel grinned and said, "At asking out Malle?"

"How the heck'd you know?"

"Buddy I've been there, done that, got a boyfriend." Tai shook his head and sighed. "Well I'm not gay so that doesn't apply to me." Then Malle and Chancey both came outside of the room. Tai whispered in Gabe's ear: "So Malle is Tweedle-Dee, and Chancey is Tweedle-Dumb."

 

 

"Hey. Tai, I'd say yes but I'm currently with Dylan at the moment. So I have to talk to him before we do anything." A tear dripped down Tai's cheek. "Oh- Alright."

 

Tai: "I feel like jumping off a building now."

 

Gabriel: "So yeah, that just happened. But I have no say because I'm gay."

Chapter 5: Teen Maze

 

LUNCHROOM

 

Tai handed his lunchbox to his friend, Brenton. “Take this to the table.”

“Wha-Why I gotta do it, it’s your stuff!”

 

“Just do it, I have to go take a piss.”

 

Tai: “It takes… 40 minutes to get to the school. SO I go to the restroom straight when I get there. Also, it’s the same day of the Teen Maze; A piece of crap build from gym mats, metal cubicle walls, and plastic tables.

 

The worst part is: You don’t choose your fate, it’s based off of pulling out of bags, dice rolls, wrist bands, and wheel spins. SO you can get arrested, go to jail, have sex, get a kid, have sex again, leave the first kid, get another kid, have sex again, get herpes, then get a job. Then have sex again and die of AIDS.”

 

Tai walked out of the bathroom and peeked into the gym. The very first thing he saw was a very tall sign marking one of the stations. “BAHAHAHAHAHAH! No! NO THAT’S- THAT CAN’T BE REAL!”

 

He fell to the floor laughing, revealing a sign labeled in bold black letters:

“DFCs Station.”

THE BAD FEW

BY TAI GOODMAN

BASED OFF OF REALITY

 

THIRD PERIOD

Hunter Baker, a student in Tai’s class who just did the teen maze, came back in and announced what he received. And it wasn’t very pleasant, either. Though it was inferrable what happened when he had a high school diploma and a booklet.

“SO we were taken to a-”

 

Tai: “Nope. No spoilers.”

 

“And then I had sex with some girl and got something called ‘Sigh-fil-ees.’” Tai, and the rest of his classmates squinted, as Sighfilees was NOT an STD. And then they all said, “You mean SIPHILIS?”

“Oh, is that what it was? Well anyways, whatever STD you got, they’ll show you a picture of somebody who got it. I had to look at-”

 

Tai: “Uh-uh, no spoilers.”

 

Meanwhile, Malle was doing biology when somebody in her class came in boasting about the Teen Maze with a booklet and… Criminal records. “Oh wow. So I’m guessing… You got arrested?” she asked the student. “Yeah, I got arrested for-”

 

Tai: “Ah ah ah, you didn’t say the magic word!”

 

He showed her a picture of a mugshot and a fingerprint template. Each fingerprint was revealed with black ink, and all of their information was forged onto the piece of very flexible but hard-to-rip paper. “Oh, boy. Arrested for-”

 

Tai: “Yeet, you ain’t hearing that.”

 

Meanwhile, Tai realized that the order people went to the maze in was alphabetical. SO since Hunter BAKER went, John Michael Beaumont and Jesse Boone also went.

Tai looked at the fake graduation diploma he hand under his hand. “So… you graduated from high school?”

“Yeah, I got a-”

 

Tai: “Nah, nope. No spoilers!”

LUNCHTIME

John sat down along with Jesse and Jacob. “Did you guys go to the Teen Maze crap today?” Tai asked them. “Yeah,” they both said in unison. “Did you guys get STDs?” John stared at Tai and then said, “Yes.”

“WOW. WOWWWW! JOHN MICHAEL BEAUMONT RISKED THIRD BASE FOR AN STD!” Jesse said, “I got-”

 

Tai: “No no no! We aren’t spoiling it!”

“And then I went to jail,” said Jesse, finishing his speech. “Well, that’s great. By the way, where’s Malle?”

“We don’t know,” Dylan told him. Then all of a sudden, the entire lunchroom started clapping when the lights turned off. “WOOOOO!” cheered one of the students. John nudged Dylan. “Hey, bro, what’s happening right now?”

“I don’t know, they all just started clapping.”

Then their entire table joined in and started clapping for no reason. Then Tai just randomly screamed, “You’re all gay!”

Then the clapping stopped after about 5 seconds.

 

Tai: “Turns out, one of the staff members bumped into the lightswitch and turned off the lights. And this makes this three times that this has happened- No not the lightswitch, but the clapping.”

 

“I’m kind of afraid, to say the least. Y’know, about the teen maze. I heard that if you get an STD, they hold it in front of you.”

 

“The STD?” Austin implied.

 

“No, you retard. A picture of it.”

TAI'S EXPERIENCE IN THE TEEN MAZE

 

Tai was given a checked paper band. "Oh boy, now I can tell what this is for." 

 

Tai: "Oh by the way, none of the choices are made for you. So I bet this is one of the things that do."

 

He walked into a 'party room' also known as the ROTC room. There was a rainbow strobe light, an old man on the DJ station, and a bunch of freshmen. "Here are the rules of the party: Number 1, no alcohol. Number 2, stay away from the walls. Number 3, you have to dance."

 

Tai: "This party blows."

 

Tai walked over to a freshman blocking two nearly closed panels in the back. "Hey, can you move for a second?" She scooted to the left and Tai peered through the walls. Nobody was in there. "Alright." Then he stood in the middle of the room and didn't dance. Then the "Cha Cha Slide" started playing.

"Let's get funky!"

 

Tai: "Let's not."

 

"Everybody clap your hands!" 

Nobody clapped their hands. 

 

"Get funky wid-it! To the left!"

Tai walked to his right.

"Take it back now yall!"

Tai stepped forwards.

"One hop this time!"

Tai didn't jump.

"Let's go to work!"

"I don't have no job."

"To the left!"

 

Tai: "How did this song get popular, this is just the Cupid Shuffle with a load of extra bullcrap moves added in just to avoid copyright complications. And it's also a song to make fat people exercise."

 

"How low can you go?"

Tai fell on the floor, face-first.

"Can you bring it to the top? Like it never gonna stop!"

Tai climbed on top of a shelf without being noticed.

"Charlie Brown!"

 

Tai: "What in the flying f*** is Charlie Brown?"

 

Then a group of REAL police officers entered the room. "Alright everybody, hands up!" 

Bryce Giddens held up both hands, and shot two birds. Tai put up his hands. The "DJ" said, "Get the one in the middle of the room."

"WHAT?" Tai exclaimed. A police officer went over to him and put his hand on his shoulder. "Alright buddy, come on." 

 

Tai (while being "arrested"): "I got arrested for being Asian. I mean, I did everything the guy told me to. And this is what I get in return?"

 

The police officer said, "You been drinking?" Tai shook his head and said, "Yeah, water and Coca Cola." He shook his head sarcastically and said, "You smell like beer." Tai sniffed himself and said, "No, that's Axe body-spray you smell." 

Tai was brought to the locker room, also known as the jailroom. "Oh boy! So this a double-whammy! We get arrested, AND MOLESTED in here."

 

A woman with a camera ordered Tai to put on a white and black striped jail jacket. 

 

Tai: "Wow. So these people are on LSD. This is not what being arrested looks like."

 

THE AVERAGE KID'S VISION OF BEING ARRESTED

 

In a vision, Tai was in a party with a bunch of alcoholics. Then the police open the door slowly and yelled, "Everybody, put your hands up." 

"Oh no, the police arrived!" everybody said with no emotion. "Wait. Don't arrest me! I swear I definitely didn't drink anything!" Tai said. "You are a liar. Come with me or I will shoot you in the face and kill you!" the officer responded. "Okay officer! Let's go to jail!"

 

THE REAL POLICE

 

Everybody was enjoying the party, then police busted inside and said, "EVERYBODY, HANDS UP!" 

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP!"

Tai was slammed on the ground and arrested. Then he was tested for alcohol. "You got a 0.9! You have the right to remain silent- Anything you say will be used in court against you."

 "ALRIGHT, just put me in your car already!"

REALITY

 

Tai was ordered to sign his name on the fingerprint sheet. "Alright, put your name right here." Tai wrote something out. "The Rock?" the officer asked, confused.

"Yep."

Then Tai was brought over to a station where he was ordered to walk in a straight line in order to prove he wasn't drunk. And was handed a pair of suspicious looking goggles. "This is a rigged experiment, these are drunk goggles." 

"JUST PUT ON THE GOGGLES."

 

Tai failed this part of the test, then was lined up in front of a Judge. "All of you have been charged with the crime of DUI, you will be sentenced to 6 months of community service, a fine of 20 grand, each. You will be sent to life-skills educaiton. Any questions?"

"Yes, did you just graduate and keep the gown or are you a real judge?"

 

Tai: "And then the stupid part came. When I get released from JAIL, I immediately get a girlfriend somehow." 

 

Tai walked over to a station called Hot Date #2. "Oh boy! Time to get laid by nothing!" Tai was lectured to about dating, and found a girlfriend. Then went to some other station, drew out of a bag, and received an STD.

 

"SON OF A BITCH!"

 

Tai was ordered to go to the STD lab. And right there on a stand was a wheel containing several different STDs, and death symbols. "Didn't use protection, did you?"

"Does a firearm count?"

 

"No, we mean condoms."

 

"Oh, those little fancy homes. Not sure what that has to do with protection."

 

"No, those are CONDOS."

 

"Alright whatever."

 

 

 He was ordered to spin the colorful wheel, and the dial landed on red. "Oh boy, what is this one, rash?" She pulled something out of a red bag. And it read: "You got HPV!"

"What in the f-"

 

Tai: "HPV? Either this is a typo or this is something I've never heard of. HPV... Humane Prevention Virus."

 

Tai was brought over to a bunch of tri-fold displays with pictures of courriers who have STDs pasted on the walls. "WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?"

"Alright, so you got HPV?"

"Yes, yes, can we hurry this up, I can't look at that anymore!"

 

Tai: "The jail card was handy. Everytime I had to see an STD, I'd quickly remove it from out of the front of my face. I need to learn about it but I don't need to freaking see someone with a wishbone shaped nose."

 

Then Tai went to the graduation area, which wasn't specified why. The person handed him a gown and a graduation cap. "Wait wait wait... How'd I graduate by getting an STD?"

"Who cares? Alright so step in these and get in the picture." Tai stepped into the photo