Truth of Dark Pasts, Serena Wood [read my book .txt] 📗

she’s watching my every movement, as if I’ll kick the bucket any second now. Her fingers move through my hair in a calming way for a few moments before finally the car is unlocked and running.

With a stern order from Lee, Kathy moves into the passenger seat and someone opens the back door. Once River’s inside, I’m quickly passed over to her and Lee nearly runs around the car to get in the driver’s seat. Shay finds a way to squeeze in next to River and before I know it, I’m being tossed back a bit as the car jolts forward. “Easy!” River hisses, pulling me closer and whispering some kind of reassurance. Lee murmurs an apology as I try to fight through the pain to better adjust myself. Somewhere between the window and River’s shoulder, I find a spot to rest my head and with that small comfort I start to slip in and out of consciousness as the ride goes on. Untill finally I completly black out.

Chapter 16, "Promises"

☯River☯

The hospital room Ellie was put in is currently silent, except for the constant beeping of the monitors. Shay fidgets nervously in one of the seats on the opposite side of the bed, she smiles nervously at me when her eyes look away from her hands and into mine. She hasn’t said much since we got here, her usual cheery manner not currently present to keep away the silence. Kathy insisted she get her head looked at when we got here and Shay’s humble protests are the only thing I’ve heard from her since.

Kathy reemerges from the hallway and shatters the silence throughout the dreaded room. “I didn’t know what you wanted so I figured we’d just take turns going. It’s probably better like that anyway, just in case someone has to go to the bathroom or something while someone’s off getting food and what not. That way she’s never alone.” normally I would grumble something about how Ellie would be okay enough to be left alone for more than a minute. But it’s been three days and she hasn’t woken up. She hasn’t even moved in her sleep, she just lays there; like a rock. Or a dead body.

A shiver goes down my spine at the thought and Kathy tries to break me out of my thoughts. “You should go get some food, Shay and I can watch her while you’re gone. You haven’t had anything in god knows how long.” She sits in the seat beside me, it’s usually occupied by Ellie’s mom when she’s not at work. I scoot my chair closer to Ellie’s bed, if it’s even possible to get closer at this point. I stare down at the hand I’ve had in my grasp for hours on end before looking back at Kathy, attempting some sort of small smile. “I’m fine, Shay can go. She hasn’t eaten much herself.” Kathy gives me this concerned look but for the time being she says nothing of it and gets up briefly to talk to Shay. They hover in the doorway for a minute, talking in hushed voices and I don’t even bother to listen anymore. They kiss briefly and Shay wanders off down the hall.

“You’ll get something when she comes back, right?” Kathy moves to sit at my side again. She places a hand on Ellie’s thigh, just above the knee, and watches her carefully for a minute before turning back to me. “I’m not hungry.” I lie, but we both see right through it. “Come on, don’t try that bull shit, it’s me you’re talking to here. I haven’t seen you leave her side since it happened and I know you’re damn near starving by now, among other things. You haven’t slept, hell you’ve barely left that seat. I told you Shay and I would be here, nothing’s going to happen with us around. I mean I know we haven’t been here the whole time since apparently skipping a Monday was out of Miss Shay’s criteria.” She smirks for a second at the thought of her uneasy girlfriend before going serious again. “But while we were at school her mom was here. It’s not like she’ll be left alone, River.”

“I know that…” I grumble, knowing she’s going to pull a serious conversation out of me sooner or later and I hate the idea instantly. “Then what’s wrong?” I groan as soon as she asks the question, moving my eyes back to Ellie’s hand in an attempt to escape her gaze. “I … I made a promise.” I mutter as quietly as I can manage, not that it’ll prevent her from hearing anyway. “Just tell me, River. You know you can trust me, we’re practically twins for God’s sake.” when I glance back up at her, I can still see the sincerity in her eyes; even if she tries to add humor at the end of it all.

“In the car, on the way here…” I start off cautiously, still not wanting to say what I’m about to. Still not wanting to admit that I have a heart like the promise I made would imply. A heart that has feelings and is secretly scared of being broken.

“I promised her I’d never leave her again… I’ve done it before when she needed me and I don’t want to do that to her again. Ever.” I watch Ellie for a minute after the sentence leaves me, hoping for some sign that she’s awake.

When I come up with nothing, I glance back at Kathy again and find her staring at me thoughtfully. “I understand.” is all she says after a few minutes pass. She looks at me like she understands more than anyone else ever could. Like she’s been in my shoes. Done the same things. Made the same mistakes.

She breaks the gaze after a minute with a small smile and turns her attention back to Ellie. “I knew there was a reason we met.” She says it so simply but it leaves me at a total loss. Before I can say anything, Shay comes back in with her meal in hand and just like that the moment is gone.

Kathy moves back to sitting beside Shay and they eat their meals in total silence. While they eat, I stay in my seat and stare silently at the hand in my grasp. I can’t even think about going to get food right now, it just seems too much to let go of her hand for a long period of time; let alone leaving her entirely. Hours seem to blur by me in a confused daze that I don’t pay attention to. Pretty soon the only thing I’m really aware of is Ellie. Her shallow breathing, her motionless body. Eventually the only thing I care about is the faint pulse I get from letting my fingers dance over her wrist.

The room gradually becomes darker, Ellie’s mom had apparently showed up hours ago and I failed to notice her presence. Kathy tries to tell me something but I barely even register it at first. “River?” She squeezes in between my seat and Addie’s to nudge my shoulder gently and I snap out of the daze that the long passing of time set on me. I look away from Ellie’s heart monitor to gaze up at her tiredly. “I’m gonna take Shay home, we didn’t wanna leave but we’ve been awake since it happened and I really think she should get some rest.” I glance over at Shay, slouched in her chair with Kathy’s jacket around her. “We’ll be back first thing in the morning, I promise.” Kathy tries to reassure me with a smile and I look back at her with understanding; she’s just caring for her girlfriend. I know the feeling all too well. “Okay, Kath. Make sure she’s okay.” this sudden bolt of guilt shivers through me. I’d already failed at that myself.

“River. Ellie’s gonna be fine. Stop beating yourself up, okay?” sometimes it’s as if the girl can read my mind. Maybe it’s because we have so much in common; after all, I’m practically following in her foot steps from what I can tell.

I manage a small nod and she pats my shoulders, “Try to get some sleep while you’re at it. I’ll see you in the morning.” she leaves me with those words. She moves away from me to join Shay on the other side of the room, crouching down so she’s level with the exhausted looking girl. She nudges her shoulder gently, much like she did to me, and it rouses Shay from her fragile state of sleep. “Come on, baby, we’re gonna go home.” she plays with Shay’s hair for a second and in an instant I can tell it’s an action that serves only to calm both of their nerves. Shay stares at her for a long minute in sleepy confusion. “What about Ellie?” she glances towards us and when her eyes meet mine, they quickly shoot away. I imagine the sight of me in this state must scare her, I probably look a thousand times more grumpy to her than I usually do.

“She’ll be fine. If we can leave her for school, we can leave for a few hours of sleep. Come on, babydoll, you need your rest.” Kathy gently coaxes the girl to her feet and as soon as she starts ushering her to the door, Shay pulls away. “Wait.” she moves away from Kathy to hover over Ellie for a brief second before bending down to hug her. With any other person, I would have protested. But Shay’s feather light touch couldn’t hurt Ellie if she tried; that and I let it go because I know she’s the closest thing Ellie has to a best friend.

“Good night, Ellie.” she mumbles quietly; she’s grown accustomed to saying goodbye to Ellie before school, but for some reason this time makes me feel more sick to my stomach than before. Like it’s a final goodbye.

Kathy moves to take her place when she shuffles away. She places a gentle hand on Ellie’s shoulder and bends down to lightly kiss her forehead. “See you tomorrow, El.” For someone who can fight like hell, she’s surprisingly super gentle with people she cares about.

She steps away from the hospital bed after a delayed minute and moves to take Shay’s hand. “Goodnight, Mrs. Stone.” even now Shay manages to keep her sense of respect and manners. “Goodbye, sweetheart. Thank you both for staying with her.” for the first time all day, I manage to hear Addie’s voice. For fifteen minutes after they’ve left, I don’t really expect to hear it again. But I do.

“River, can I ask you something?” it takes me a second for my tired brain to register the noise as a question and eventually I manage a reply, “Sure.”

“I probably shouldn’t be bringing this up being as Ellie can’t really speak for herself… But I guess it’s my job as a mother to ask.” She doesn’t actually get to asking whatever it is until a moment later, when she gathers the courage. “Are you two… Are you the same as those girls?” she nods very subtly towards the door Kathy and Shay had