A KNIGHT OF THE NINETEENTH CENTURY, Edward Payson Roe [top young adult novels TXT] 📗
- Author: Edward Payson Roe
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From Me The Next Day. You Could Be Mighty Comfortable Tonight In your
Good Bed with This Young Chap Sittin' On A Curb-Stun In the Rain; But I
Be Hanged if You Shall Be. It'S Beginnin' To Rain Now--It'S Goin' To Be
A Mean Night--Mean As Yourself--A Cold, Oncomfortable Drizzle; Just Such
A Night As Makes These Poor Homeless Devils Feel That Since They Are
Half Under Water They Might As Well Go Down To The River And Get Under
Altogether. P'Raps They Do It Sometimes In the Hope Of Finding a Warm,
Dry Place Somewhere. Dreadful Suddint Change For 'Em, Though! And It'S
We Respectable, Comfortable People That'S To Blame For These Suddint
Changes Half The Time.
"You Know That Heady Young Chap Out There Will Go To The Bad If Somebody
Don'T Pull Him Up. You Know That It Would Be Mean As Dirt To Let Him Go
Wanderin' Off To-Night With Only Fifty Cents In his Pocket, Tryin' To
Find Some Place To Put His Head In out Of The Storm; And Yet You Want To
Git Out Of Doin' Anything More For Him. You'Re Thinkin' How Much More
Comfortable It Will Be To Sit Dozin' In your Chair, And Not Have Any
Stranger Botherin' Round. But I'Ll Head You Off Agin In spite Of Your
Cussed, Mean, Stingy, Selfish, Old, Shrivelled-Up Soul, That Would Like
To Take Its Ease Even Though The Hull World Was A-Groanin' Outside The
Door. A-A-H!"
Having Made It Clear To The Perverse Jeremiah Growther--Against Whom He
Seemed to Hold Such An Inveterate Spite--What He Must Do, He Arose And
Called to Haldane:
"What Are You Doin' Out There In the Rain?"
"I'Ll Be Through In a Few Minutes."
"I Don'T Want The Rest Done Till Mornin'."
"It Will Pay Neither Of Us For Me To Come Back Here To Do What'S Left."
"It May Pay You, And As To Its Payin' Me, That'S My Business."
"Not Altogether--I Wish To Do My Work On Business Principles; I Haven'T
Got Down To Charity Yet."
"Well, Have Your Own Way, Then; I S'Pose Other Folks Have A Right To
Have It As Well As Myself, Sometimes. Come In soon As You Are Through."
By The Time Haldaue Finished his Task The Clouds Had Settled heavily All
Around The Horizon, Hastening Forward An Early And Gloomy Twilight, And
The Rain Was Beginning To Fall Steadily. His Mood Comported with The
Aspect Of Sky And Earth, And Weariness, The Fast Ally Of Despondency,
Aided in giving a Leaden Hue To The Future And A Leaden Weight, To His
Thoughts. The Prospect Of Trudging a Mile Or More Through The Drenching
Rain To His Previous Squalid Resting-Place At No. 13, Whose Only
Attraction Consisted in the Fact That No Questions Were Asked, Was So
Depressing That He Decided to Ask Mr. Growther For Permission To Sleep
In The Corner Of His Woodshed.
"Come In," Shouted mr. Growther, In response To His Knock At The Door.
"I'M Through," Said Haldane Laconically.
"Well, I Ain'T," Replied mr. Growther; "You Wouldn'T Mind Taking That
Cheer Till I Am, Would You?"
Haldane Found The Cushioned armchair And The Genial Fire Exceedingly To
His Taste, And He Felt That In such Comfortable Quarters He Could Endure
Hearing The Old Man Berate Himself Or Any One Else For An Hour Or More.
"Where Are You Goin' To Sleep To-Night?" Asked his Quaint-Visaged host.
"That Is A Problem I Had Been Considering Myself," Answered haldane,
Dubiously. "I Had About Concluded that, Rather Than Walk Back Through
The Rain To The Wretched place At Which I Slept Last Night, I Would Ask
For The Privilege Of Sleeping In your Wood-Shed. It Wouldn'T Be Much
Worse Than The Other Place, Or Any Place In which I Could Find Lodging
If I Were Known. Since I Did Not Steal Your Silver I Suppose You Can
Trust Me With Your Wood."
"Yet They Say Your Folks Is Rich."
"Yes, I Can Go To As Elegant A House As There Is In this City."
"Why In thunder Don'T You Go There, Then?"
"Because I Would Rather Be In your Wood-Shed and Other Places Like It
For The Present."
"I Can'T Understand That."
"Perhaps Not, But There Are Worse Things Than Sleeping Hard And Cold.
There Are People Who Suffer More Through Their Minds Than Their Bodies.
I Am Not Going Back Among My Former Acquaintances Till I Can Go As A
Gentleman."
The Old Man Looked at Him Approvingly A Moment, And Then Said
Sententiously:
"Well, You May Be A Bad Cuss, But You Ain'T A Mean One."
Haldane Laughed outright. "Mr. Growther," Said He, "You Do Me Honor. I
Foresee You Will Trust Me With Your Wood-Pile To-Night."
"No I Won'T Nuther. You Might Not Take My Wood, But You Would Take Cold,
And Then I'D Have To Nuss You And Pay Doctor'S Bills, And Bother With
You A Week Or More. I Might Even Have Your Funeral On My Hands. You
Needn'T Think You'Re Goin' To Get Me Into All This Trouble, Fur I'M One
That Hates Trouble, Unless It'S Fur Myself; And, If I Do Say It, It'S
Askin' A Little Too Much Of Me, Almost A Stranger, To 'Tend To Your
Funeral. I Don'T Like Funerals--Never Did--And I Won'T Have Nothin' To
Do With Yours. There'S A Room Right Upstairs Here, Over The Kitchen,
Where You Can Sleep Without Wakin' Up The Hull Neighborhood A Coughin'
Before Mornin'. Now Don'T Say Nothin' More About It. I'M Thinkin' Of
Myself Plaguy Sight More'N I Am Of You. If I Could Let You Go To The
Dogs Without Worryin' About It, I'D Do It Quick Enough; But I'Ve Got A
Miserable, Sneakin' Old Conscience That Won'T Stand Right Up And Make Me
Do Right, Like A Man; But When I Want To Do Some Thin' Mean It Begins A
Gnawin' And A Gnawin' At Me Till I Have To Do What I Oughter For The
Sate Of A Little Peace And Comfort. A-A-H!"
"Your Uncomfortable Conscience Seems Bent On Making Me Very Comfortable;
And Yet I Pledge You My Word That I Will Stay Only On One Condition, And
That Is, That You Let Me Get Supper And Breakfast For You, And Also Read
The Paper Aloud This Evening. I Can See That You Are Tired and Lame From
Your Walk. Will You Agree?"
"Can'T Very Well Help Myself. These Easterly Storms Allers Brings The
Rheumatiz Into My Legs. About All They Are Good Fur Now Is To Have The
Rheumatiz In 'Em. So Set Plates For Two, And Fire Ahead."
Haldane Entered into His Tasks With Almost Boyish Zest. "I'Ve Camped out
In The Woods, And Am Considerable Of A Cook," Said He. "You Shall Have
Some Toast Browned to A Turn, To Soak In your Tea, And Then You Shall
Have Some More With Hot Cream Poured over It. I'Ll Shave The Smoked beef
So Thin That You Can See To Read Through It."
"Umph! I Can'T See After Dark Any More Than An Old Hen."
"How Did You Expect To Read The Paper Then?" Asked haldane, Without
Pausing In his Labors.
"I Only Read The Headin'S. I Might As Well Make Up The Rest As The
Editors, Fur Then I Can Make It Up To Suit Me. It'S All Made Up Half The
Time, You Know."
"Well, You Shall Hear The Editors' Yarns To-Night Then, By Way Of
Variety."
The Old Man Watched the Eager Young Fellow As He Bustled from The
Cupboard To The Table, And From The Store-Closet To The Fireplace, With
A Kindly Twinkle In his Small Eyes, From Which The Deep Wrinkles Ran In
All Directions And In strange Complexity. There Could Scarcely Be A
Greater Contrast Than That Between The Headstrong And Stalwart Youth And
The Withered and Eccentric Hermit; But It Would Seem That Mutual
Kindness Is A Common Ground On Which All The World Can Meet And Add
Somewhat To Each Other'S Welfare.
The Sound Hard Wood Which Haldane Had Just Sawn Into Billets Blazed
Cheerily On The Hearth, Filling The Quaint Old Kitchen With Weird And
Flickering Lights And Shades. Mr. Growther Was Projected against The
Opposite Wall In the Aspect Of A Benevolent Giant, And Perhaps The
Large, Kindly, But Unsubstantial Shadow Was A Truer Type Of The Man Than
The Shrivelled anatomy With Which The Town Was Familiar. The
Conservative Dog, No Longer Disquieted by Doubts And Fears, Sat Up And
Blinked approvingly At The Preparation For Supper. The Politic Cat, Now
Satisfied that Any Attentions To The Stranger Would Not Compromise Her,
And Might Lead To Another Delicate Morsel, Fawned against His Legs, And
Purred as Affectionately As If She Had Known Him All Her Life And Would
Not Scratch Him Instantly If He Did Anything Displeasing To Her.
Take It Altogether, It Was A Domestic Scene Which Would Have Done Mrs.
Arnot'S Heart Good To Have Witnessed; But Poor Mrs. Haldane Would Have
Sighed over It As So Utterly Unconventional As To Be Another Proof Of
Her Son'S Unnatural Tastes. In her Estimation He Should Spend Social
Evenings Only In aristocratic Parlors; And She Mourned over The Fact
That From Henceforth He Was Excluded from These Privileged places Of His
Birthright, With A Grief Only Less Poignant Than Her Sorrow Over What
Seemed to Her A Cognate Truth, That His Course And Character Also
Excluded him From Heaven.
Chapter XXIV (How Public Opinion Is Often Made)"I Don'T S'Pose There'S Any Use Of Two Such Reprobates As Us Thinkin'
About Sayin' Grace," Said Mr. Growther, Taking His Place At The Head Of
The Table; "And Yet, As I Said, I Allers Have A Sneakin' Wish Jest To Go
Through The Form; So We'Ll All Begin In the Same Way--Cat And Dog And
God'S Rational Critters. Howsomever, They Don'T Know No Better, And So
Their Consciences Is Clear. I'Ll Own Up This Toast Is Good, If I Am
Eatin' It Like A Heathen. If You Can'T Find Anything Else To Do, You Can
Take To Cookin' For A Livin'."
"No One In town, Save Yourself, Would Trust Me In their Kitchen."
"Well, It Does Seem As If A Man Had Better Lose Everything Rather Than
His Character," Said Mr. Growther Thoughtfully.
"Then It Seems A Pity A Man Can Lose It So Cursed easily," Added haldane
Bitterly, "For, Having Lost It, All The Respectable And Well-To-Do Would
Rather One Should Go To The Devil A Thousand Times Than Give Him A
Chance To Win It Back Again."
"You Put It Rather Strong--Rather Strong," Said The Old Man, Shaking His
Head; "For Some Reason Or Other I Am Not As Mad At Myself And Everything
And Everybody To-Night As Usual, And I Can See Things Clearer. Be Honest
Now. A Month Ago You Belonged to The Rich, High-Flyin' Class. How Much
Then Would You Have Had To Do With A Young Fellow Of Whom You Knew Only
Four Things--That He Gambled, Got Drunk, 'Bezzled a Thousand Dollars,
And Had Been In jail? That'S All Most People In town Know About You."
Haldane Laid Down His Knife And Fork And Fairly Groaned.
"I Know The Plain Truth Is Tough To Hear And Think About, And I'M An Old
Brute To Spile Your Supper By Bringing It Up. I Hope You Won'T Think I'M
Trying To Save Some Victuals By Doin' It. And Yet It'S The Truth, And
You'Ve Got To Face It. But Face It To-Morrow--Face It To-Morrow; Have A
Comfortable Time To-Night."
"Your Statement Of The Case Is Perfectly Bald," Said Haldane, With A
Troubled brow; "There Are Explanatory And Excusing Circumstances."
"Yes, No Doubt; But The World Don'T Take Much Account Of Them. When One
Gits Into A Scrape, About The Only Question Asked is, What Did He _Do?_
And They All Jump To The Conclusion That If He Did It Once He'Ll Do It
Agin. Lookin' Into The Circumstances Takes Time And Trouble, And It
Isn'T Human Nature To Bother Much About Other People."
"What Chance Is There, Then, For Such As I Am?"
The Old Man Hitched uneasily On His Chair, But At Last, With His
Characteristic Bluntness Said,
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