The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, William Shakespeare [book recommendations based on other books txt] 📗

not approved in the height a villain, that hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman? O that I were a man! What? bear her in hand until they come to take hands, and then with public accusation, uncover’d slander, unmitigated rancour—O God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market place.

Bene. Hear me, Beatrice!

Beat. Talk with a man out at a window!-a proper saying!

Bene. Nay but Beatrice—

Beat. Sweet Hero! she is wrong’d, she is sland’red, she is undone.

Bene. Beat—

Beat. Princes and Counties! Surely a princely testimony, a goodly count, Count Comfect, a sweet gallant surely! O that I were a man for his sake! or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted into cursies, valour into compliment, and men are only turn’d into tongue, and trim ones too. He is now as valiant as Hercules that only tells a lie,and swears it. I cannot be a man with wishing; therefore I will die a woman with grieving.

Bene. Tarry, good Beatrice. By this hand, I love thee.

Beat. Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it.

Bene. Think you in your soul the Count Claudio hath wrong’d Hero?

Beat. Yea, as sure is I have a thought or a soul.

Bene. Enough, I am engag’d, I will challenge him. I will kiss your hand, and so I leave you. By this hand, Claudio shall render me a dear account. As you hear of me, so think of me. Go comfort your cousin. I must say she is dead-and so farewell.

[Exeunt.]

 

Scene II.

A prison.

 

Enter the Constables [Dogberry and Verges] and the Sexton, in gowns, [and the Watch, with Conrade and] Borachio.

 

Dog. Is our whole dissembly appear’d?

Verg. O, a stool and a cushion for the sexton.

Sex. Which be the malefactors?

Dog. Marry, that am I and my partner.

Verg. Nay, that’s certain. We have the exhibition to examine.

Sex. But which are the offenders that are to be examined? let them come before Master Constable.

Dog. Yea, marry, let them come before me. What is your name, friend?

Bor. Borachio.

Dog. Pray write down Borachio. Yours, sirrah?

Con. I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade.

Dog. Write down Master Gentleman Conrade. Masters, do you serve God?

Both. Yea, sir, we hope.

Dog. Write down that they hope they serve God; and write God first, for God defend but God should go before such villains! Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than false knaves, and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves?

Con. Marry, sir, we say we are none.

Dog. A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you; but I will go about with him. Come you hither, sirrah. A word in your ear. Sir, I say to you, it is thought you are false knaves.

Bora. Sir, I say to you we are none.

Dog. Well, stand aside. Fore God, they are both in a tale.

Have you writ down that they are none?

Sex. Master Constable, you go not the way to examine. You must call forth the watch that are their accusers.

Dog. Yea, marry, that’s the eftest way. Let the watch come forth.

Masters, I charge you in the Prince’s name accuse these men.

1. Watch. This man said, sir, that Don John the Prince’s brother was a villain.

Dog. Write down Prince John a villain. Why, this is flat perjury, to call a prince’s brother villain.

Bora. Master Constable—

Dog. Pray thee, fellow, peace. I do not like thy look, I promise thee.

Sex. What heard you him say else?

2. Watch. Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully.

Dog. Flat burglary as ever was committed.

Verg. Yea, by th’ mass, that it is.

Sex. What else, fellow?

1. Watch. And that Count Claudio did mean, upon his words, to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and not marry her.

Dog. O villain! thou wilt be condemn’d into everlasting redemption for this.

Sex. What else?

Watchmen. This is all.

Sex. And this is more, masters, than you can deny. Prince John is this morning secretly stol’n away. Hero was in this manner accus’d, in this manner refus’d, and upon the grief of this suddenly died. Master Constable, let these men be bound and brought to Leonato’s. I will go before and show him their examination. [Exit.]

Dog. Come, let them be opinion’d.

Verg. Let them be in the hands—

Con. Off, coxcomb!

Dog. God’s my life, where’s the sexton? Let him write down the Prince’s officer coxcomb. Come, bind them.—Thou naughty varlet!

Con. Away! you are an ass, you are an ass.

Dog. Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? O that he were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember that I am an ass. Though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be prov’d upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow; and which is more, an officer; and which is more, a householder; and which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina, and one that knows the law, go to! and a rich fellow enough, go to! and a fellow that hath had losses; and one that hath two gowns and everything handsome about him. Bring him away. O that I had been writ down an ass!

Exeunt.

 

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ACT V. Scene I.

The street, near Leonato’s house.

 

Enter Leonato and his brother [ Antonio].

 

Ant. If you go on thus, you will kill yourself, And ‘tis not wisdom thus to second grief Against yourself.

Leon. I pray thee cease thy counsel,

Which falls into mine ears as profitless As water in a sieve. Give not me counsel, Nor let no comforter delight mine ear But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine.

Bring me a father that so lov’d his child, Whose joy of her is overwhelm’d like mine, And bid him speak to me of patience.

Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine, And let it answer every strain for strain, As thus for thus, and such a grief for such, In every lineament, branch, shape, and form.

If such a one will smile and stroke his beard, Bid sorrow wag, cry ‘hem’ when he should groan, Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk With candle-wasters—bring him yet to me, And I of him will gather patience.

But there is no such man; for, brother, men Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief Which they themselves not feel; but, tasting it, Their counsel turns to passion, which before Would give preceptial medicine to rage, Fetter strong madness in a silken thread, Charm ache with air and agony with words.

No, no! ‘Tis all men’s office to speak patience To those that wring under the load of sorrow, But no man’s virtue nor sufficiency

To be so moral when he shall endure

The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel.

My griefs cry louder than advertisement.

Ant. Therein do men from children nothing differ.

Leon. I pray thee peace. I will be flesh and blood; For there was never yet philosopher

That could endure the toothache patiently, However they have writ the style of gods And made a push at chance and sufferance.

Ant. Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself.

Make those that do offend you suffer too.

Leon. There thou speak’st reason. Nay, I will do so.

My soul doth tell me Hero is belied;

And that shall Claudio know; so shall the Prince, And all of them that thus dishonour her.

 

Enter Don Pedro and Claudio.

 

Ant. Here comes the Prince and Claudio hastily.

Pedro. Good den, Good den.

Claud. Good day to both of you.

Leon. Hear you, my lords!

Pedro. We have some haste, Leonato.

Leon. Some haste, my lord! well, fare you well, my lord.

Are you so hasty now? Well, all is one.

Pedro. Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old man.

Ant. If he could right himself with quarrelling, Some of us would lie low.

Claud. Who wrongs him?

Leon. Marry, thou dost wrong me, thou dissembler, thou!

Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword; I fear thee not.

Claud. Mary, beshrew my hand

If it should give your age such cause of fear.

In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword.

Leon. Tush, tush, man! never fleer and jest at me I speak not like a dotard nor a fool, As under privilege of age to brag

What I have done being young, or what would do, Were I not old. Know, Claudio, to thy head, Thou hast so wrong’d mine innocent child and me That I am forc’d to lay my reverence by And, with grey hairs and bruise of many days, Do challenge thee to trial of a man.

I say thou hast belied mine innocent child; Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart, And she lied buried with her ancestors-O, in a tomb where never scandal slept, Save this of hers, fram’d by thy villany!

Claud. My villany?

Leon. Thine, Claudio; thine I say.

Pedro. You say not right, old man

Leon. My lord, my lord,

I’ll prove it on his body if he dare, Despite his nice fence and his active practice, His May of youth and bloom of lustihood.

Claud. Away! I will not have to do with you.

Leon. Canst thou so daff me? Thou hast kill’d my child.

If thou kill’st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man.

And. He shall kill two of us, and men indeed But that’s no matter; let him kill one first.

Win me and wear me! Let him answer me.

Come, follow me, boy,. Come, sir boy, come follow me.

Sir boy, I’ll whip you from your foining fence!

Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will.

Leon. Brother—

Ant. Content yourself. God knows I lov’d my niece, And she is dead, slander’d to death by villains, That dare as well answer a man indeed As I dare take a serpent by the tongue.

Boys, apes, braggarts, jacks, milksops!

Leon. Brother Anthony—

Ant. Hold you content. What, man! I know them, yea, And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple, Scambling, outfacing, fashion-monging boys, That lie and cog and flout, deprave and slander, Go anticly, show outward hideousness, And speak off half a dozen dang’rous words, How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst; And this is all.

Leon. But, brother Anthony—

Ant. Come, ‘tis no matter.

Do not you meddle; let me deal in this.

Pedro. Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience.

My heart is sorry for your daughter’s death; But, on my honour, she was charg’d with nothing But what was true, and very full of proof.

Leon. My lord, my lord—

Pedro. I will not hear you.

Leon. No? Come, brother, away!—I will be heard.

Ant. And shall, or some of us will smart for it.

Exeunt ambo.

 

Enter Benedick.

 

Pedro. See, see! Here comes the man we went to seek.

Claud. Now, signior, what news?

Bene. Good day, my lord.

Pedro. Welcome, signior.