Three Dramas, Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson [best e reader for academics txt] 📗

I have no objection! There is life in the country yet!

The King (to Gran). And you, my friend? Are you afraid of being shot by a mad republican if you help me?

Gran. I am not particularly afraid of death, any way. But the maid is telling us that supper is served.

The King. Yes, let us have supper!

Koll. And then, to our task!

Curtain


ACT II


(SCENE.--A park with old lofty trees. In the foreground, to the right, an arbour with a seat. The KING is sitting, talking to BANG, who is a man of gross corpulence.)

Bang. And I felt so well in every way that, I assure your Majesty, I used to feel it a pleasure to be alive.

The King (drawing patterns in the dust with his walking stick). I can quite believe it.

Bang. And then I was attacked by this pain in my heart and this difficulty in breathing. I run round and round this park, on an empty stomach, till I am absolutely exhausted.

The King (absently). Couldn't you drive round, then?

Bang. Drive?--But it is the exercise, your Majesty, that--

The King. Of course. I was thinking of something else.

Bang. I would not mind betting that I know what your Majesty was thinking of--if I may say so without impertinence.

The King. What was it, then?

Bang. Your Majesty was thinking of the socialists!

The King. Of the--?

Bang. The socialists!

The King (looking amused). Why particularly of them?

Bang. I was right, you see! Ha, ha, ha! (His laughter brings on a violent fit of coughing.) Your Majesty must excuse me; laughing always brings on my cough.--But, you know, the papers this morning are full of their goings on!

The King. I have not read the paper.

Bang. Then I can assure your Majesty that the way they are going on is dreadful. And just when we were all getting on so comfortably! What in the world do they want?

The King. Probably they want to get on comfortably too.

Bang. Aren't they well off as it is, the beasts? Excuse me, your Majesty, for losing my temper in your Majesty's presence.

The King. Don't mention it.

Bang. You are very good. These strikes, too--what is the object of them? To make every one poor? Every one can't be rich. However, I pin my faith to a strong monarchy. Your Majesty is the padlock on my cash-box!

The King. I am what?

Bang. The padlock on my cash-box! A figure of speech I ventured to apply to your Majesty.

The King. I am much obliged!

Bang. Heaven help us if the liberals come into power; their aim is to weaken the monarchy.

(A BEGGAR BOY comes up to them.)

Beggar Boy. Please, kind gentlemen, spare a penny! I've had nothing to eat to-day!

Bang (taking no notice of him). Aren't there whispers of the sort about? But of course it can't be true.

Beggar Boy (pertinaciously). Please, kind gentlemen, spare a penny! I've had nothing to eat to-day.

Bang. You have no right to beg.

The King. You have only the right to starve, my boy! Here! (Gives him a gold coin. The BEGGAR Boy backs away from him, staring at him, and gripping the coin in his fist.)

Bang. He never even thanked you! Probably the son of a socialist!--I would never have opened this park to every one in the way your Majesty has done.

The King. It saves the work-people a quarter of am hour if they can go through it to get to their work.

(The GENERAL appears, driving the BEGGAR BOY before him with his stick.)

The General (to the BEGGAR). A gentleman sitting on a seat gave it you? Point him out to me, then!

Bang (getting up). Good morning, your Majesty!

The King. Good morning! (Looks at his watch.)

The General. That gentleman, do you say?

The King (looking up). What is it?

The General. Your Majesty? Allow me to welcome you back!

The King. Thank you.

The General. Excuse me, sir; but I saw this fellow with a gold coin in his hand, and stopped him. He says your Majesty gave it to him--?

The King. It is quite true.

The General. Oh--of course that alters the case! (To the BEGGAR.) It is the King. Have you thanked him? (The boy stands still, staring at the KING.)

The King. Are you taking a morning walk on an empty stomach because of a weak heart, too?

The General. Because of my stomach, sir--because of my stomach! It has struck work!

The Beggar Boy. Ha, ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho! (Runs away.)

The General. I am astonished at your Majesty's having thrown this park open to every one.

The King. It saves the work-people a quarter of an hour if they can go through it to get to their work.--Well, General, it seems you have become religious all of a sudden?

The General. Ha, ha, ha! Your Majesty has read my Order of the Day, then?

The King. Yes.

The General (confidentially). Well, sir, you see things couldn't go on any longer as they were. (Whispers.) Debauchery in the ranks! I won't say anything about the officers; but when the men take to such courses openly--!

The King. Oho!

The General. My brother the bishop and I, between us, composed an Order of the Day on the subject of the necessity of religion--religion as the basis of discipline.

The King. As a matter of fact the bishop was the first person I met here to-day.--Is he suffering from a disordered stomach, too?

The General. More so than any of us, Sir! Ha, ha, ha! (The KING motions to him to sit down.) Thank you, Sir.--But, apart from that, I have had it in my mind for some time that in these troublous days there ought to be a closer co-operation between the Army and the Church--

The King. In the matter of digestion, do you mean?

The General. Ha, ha, ha!--But seriously, Sir, the time is approaching when such a co-operation will be the only safeguard of the throne.

The King. Indeed?

The General (hurriedly). That is to say, of course, the throne stands firm by itself--God forbid I should hint otherwise! But what I mean is that it is the Army ants the Church that must supply the monarchy with the necessary splendour and authority--

The King. I suppose, then, that the monarchy has no longer any of its own?

The General (jumping up). Heaven forbid that I should say such a thing! I would give my life in support of the monarchy!

The King. You will have to die some day, unfortunately (Laughs as he gets up.) Who is that coming this way?

The General (putting up his eyeglass). That? It is the Princess and Countess L'Estoque, Sir.

The King. Is the Princess suffering from indigestion too?

The General (confidentially). I fancy your Majesty knows best what the Princess is suffering from. (The KING moves away from him.) I made a mess of that! It comes of my trying to be too clever.--He is walking towards her. Perhaps there is something in it, after all? I must tell Falbe about it. (Turns to go.) Confound it, he saw that I was watching them! (Goes out. The KING returns to the arbour with the PRINCESS on his arm. The COUNTESS and one of the royal servants are seen crossing the park in the background.)

The Princess. This is a most surprising meeting! When did your Majesty return?

The King. Last night.--You look very charming, Princess! Such blushing cheeks!--and so early in the morning!

The Princess. I suppose you think it is rouge?--No, Sir, it is nothing but pleasure at meeting you.

The King. Flatterer! And I went pale at the sight of you.

The Princess. Perhaps your conscience--?

The King. I am sorry to say my conscience had nothing to do with it. But this morning I have been meeting so many people that are suffering from indigestion that, when I saw your Highness walking quickly along--

The Princess. Make your mind easy! My reason for my morning walk is to keep my fat down. Later in the day I ride--for the same reason. I live for nothing else now.

The King. It is a sacred vocation!

The Princess. Because it is a royal one?

The King. Do you attribute your sanctity to me? Wicked Princess!

The Princess. Both my sanctity and any good fortune I enjoy. It is nothing but my relationship to your Majesty that induces the tradespeople to give me unlimited credit.

The King. You don't feel any awkwardness about it, then?

The Princess. Not a bit! The good folk have to maintain many worse parasites than me!--By the way, talking of parasites, is it true that you have pensioned off all your lords-in-waiting and their hangers-on?

The King. Yes.

The Princess. Ha, ha, ha! But why did you make the special stipulation that they should live in Switzerland?

The King. Because there is no court in Switzerland, and--

The Princess. And so they could not fall into temptation again! I have had many a good laugh at the thought of it. But it has its serious side too, you know; because your Majesty cannot dispense with a court.

The King. Why not?

The Princess. Well, suppose some day you are "joined in the bonds of holy matrimony," as the parsons so beautifully put it?

The King. If I were, it would be for the sake of knowing what family life is.

The Princess. Like any other citizen?

The King. Precisely.

The Princess. Are you going to keep no servants?

The King. As many as are necessary--but no more.

The Princess. Then I must secure a place as chambermaid in your Majesty's household as soon as possible. Because if my financial circumstances are inquired into there will be nothing else left for me but that!

The King. You have too sacred a vocation for that, Princess!

The Princess. How pretty! Your Majesty is a poet, and poets are allowed to be enthusiastic about ideals. But the people are poets too, in their way; they like their figure-head to be well gilded, and don't mind paying for it. That is their poetry.

The King. Are you certain of that?

The Princess. Absolutely certain! It is a point of honour with them.

The King. Then I have to weigh my honour against theirs! And my honour forbids me--for the honour of my people and their poetry--to keep up my palaces, my guards, and my court any longer! _Voila tout_!

The Princess. My dear King, certain positions carry with them certain duties!

The King. Then I know higher duties than those!--But, Princess, here are we two seriously discussing--

The Princess. Yes, but there is something at the bottom of it that is not to be laughed away. All tradition and all experience proclaim it to be the truth that a king--the kingly majesty--should be a dignity apart; and should be the ultimate source of law, surrounded with pomp and circumstance, and secure behind the fortified walls of wealth, rank, and hereditary nobility. If he steps out of that magic circle, the law's authority is weakened.

The King. Has your Royal Highness breakfasted yet?