A KNIGHT OF THE NINETEENTH CENTURY, Edward Payson Roe [top young adult novels TXT] 📗
- Author: Edward Payson Roe
Book online «A KNIGHT OF THE NINETEENTH CENTURY, Edward Payson Roe [top young adult novels TXT] 📗». Author Edward Payson Roe
Course Seemed such Black Ingratitude That His Apologies And
Acknowledgments Of Wrong Went For Nothing. She Quite Overlooked the
Hope, Expressed here And There, That He Might Lead A Very Different Life
In The Future. His Large And Self-Confident Assurances Made Before Had
Come To Naught, And She Had Not The Tact To See That He Would Make This
Attempt In a Different Spirit.
It Was Not By Any Means A Knightly Or Even A Manly Letter That He Wrote
To His Mother; It Was As Confused as His Own Chaotic Moral Nature; But
If Mrs. Haldane Had Had A Little More Of Mrs. Arnot'S Intuition, And
Less Of Prejudice, She Might Have Seen Scattered through It Very Hopeful
Indications. But Even Were Such Indications Much More Plain, Her Anger,
Caused by His Refusal To Leave Hillaton, And The Belief That He Would
Continue To Disgrace Himself And Her, Would Have Blinded her To Them.
Under The Influence Of This Anger She Sat Down And Wrote At Once:
Since You Cast Off Your Mother For Strangers--Since You Attempt Again
What You Have Proved yourself Incapable Of Accomplishing--Since You
Prefer To Go Out Of Jail To Be A Vagrant And A Criminal In the Streets,
Instead Of Accepting My Offer To Live A Respectable And Secluded life
Where Your Shame Is Unknown, I Wash My Hands Of You, And Shall Take
Pains To Let It Be Understood That I Am No Longer Responsible For You Or
Your Actions. You Must Look To Strangers Solely Until You Can Conform
Your Course To The Will Of The One You Have So Greatly Wronged.
Haldane Received this Letter On The Morning Of The Day Which Would Again
Give Him Freedom. Mrs. Arnot Had Visited him From Time To Time, And Had
Been Pleased to Find Him, As A General Thing, In a Better And More
Promising Mood. He Had Been Eager To Listen To All That She Had To Say,
And He Seemed honestly Bent On Reform. And Yet, While Hopeful, She Was
Not At All Sanguine As To His Future. He Occasionally Gave Way To Fits
Of Deep Despondency, And Again Was Over-Confident, While The Causes Of
These Changes Were Not Very Apparent, And Seemingly Resulted more From
Temperament Than Anything Else. She Feared that The Bad Habits Of Long
Standing, Combining With His Capricious And Impulsive Nature, Would
Speedily Betray Him Into His Old Ways. She Was Sure This Would Be The
Case Unless The Strong And Steady Hand Of God Sustained him, And She Had
Tried to Make Him Realize The Same Truth. This He Did In a Measure, And
Was Exceedingly Distrustful; And Yet He Had Not Been Able To Do Much
More Than Hope God Would Help Him--For To Anything Like Trustful
Confidence He Was Still A Stranger.
The Future Was Very Dark And Uncertain. What He Was To Do, How He Was To
Live, He Could Not Foresee. Even The Prison Seemed almost A Refuge From
The World, Out Into Which He Would Be Thrown That Day, As One Might Be
Cast From A Ship, To Sink Or Swim, As The Case Might Be.
While Eager To Receive Counsel And Advice From Mrs. Arnot, He Felt A
Peculiar Reluctance To Take Any Pecuniary Assistance, And He Fairly
Dreaded to Have Her Offer It; Still, It Might Be All That Would Stand
Between Him And Hunger.
After Receiving His Mother'S Harsh Reply To His Letter, His Despondency
Was Too Great Even For Anger. He Was Ashamed of His Weakness And
Discouragement, And Felt That They Were Unmanly, And Yet Was Powerless
To Resist The Leaden Depression That Weighed him Down.
Mrs. Arnot Had Promised to Call Just Before His Release, And When She
Entered his Cell She At Once Saw That Something Was Amiss. In reply To
Her Questioning He Gave Her The Letter Just Received.
After Reading It Mrs. Arnot Did Not Speak For Some Time, And Her Face
Wore A Sad, Pained look.
At Last She Said, "You Both Misunderstand Each Other; But, Egbert, You
Have No Right To Cherish Resentment. Your Mother Sincerely Believes Your
Course Is All Wrong, And That It Will End Worse Than Before. I Think She
Is Mistaken. And Yet Perhaps She Is Right, And It Will Be Easier For You
To Commence Your Better And Reformed life In the Seclusion Which She
Suggests. I Am Sorry To Say It To You, Egbert, But I Have Not Been Able
To Find Any Employment For You Such As You Would Take, Or I Would Be
Willing To Have You Accept. Perhaps Providence Points To Submission To
Your Mother'S Will."
"If So, Then I Lose What Little Faith I Have In providence," He Replied
Impetuously. "It Is Here, In this City, That I Have Fallen And Disgraced
Myself, And It Is Here I Ought To Redeem Myself, If I Ever Do. Weeks
Ago, In pride And Self-Confidence, I Made The Effort, And Failed
Miserably, As Might Have Been Expected. Instead Of Being a Gifted and
Brilliant Man, As I Supposed, That Had Been Suddenly Brought Under A
Cloud As Much Through Misfortune As Fault, I Have Discovered myself To
Be A Weak, Commonplace, Illiterate Fellow, Strong Only In bad Passions
And Bad Habits. Can I Escape These Passions And Habits By Going
Elsewhere? You Have Told Me, In a Way That Excited my Hope, Of God'S
Power And Willingness To Help Such As I Am. If He Will Not Help Me Here,
He Will Not Anywhere; And If, With His Aid, I Cannot Surmount The
Obstacles In my Way Here, What Is God'S Promised help But A Phrase Which
Means Nothing, And What Are We But Victims Of Circumstances?"
"Are You Not Reaching Conclusions Rather Fast, Egbert? You Forget That I
And Myriads Of Others Have Had Proof Of God'S Power And Willingness To
Help. If Wide And Varied experience Can Settle Any Fact, This One Has
Been Settled. But We Should Ever Remember That We Are Not To Dictate The
Terms On Which He Is To Help Us."
"I Do Not Mean To Do This," Said Haldane Eagerly, "But I Have A
Conviction That I Ought To Remain In hillaton. To Tell You The Truth,
Mrs. Arnot, I Am Afraid To Go Elsewhere," He Added in a Low Tone, While
Tears Suffused his Eyes. "You Are The Only Friend In the Universe That I
Am Sure Cares For Me, Or That I Can Trust Without Misgivings. To Me God
Is Yet But Little More Than A Name, And One That Heretofore I Have
Either Forgotten Or Feared. You Have Led me To Hope That It Might Be
Otherwise Some Day, But It Is Not So Yet, And I Dare Not Go Away Alone
Where No One Cares For Me, For I Feel Sure That I Would Give Way To
Utter Despondency, And Recklessness Would Follow As A Matter Of Course."
"O Egbert," Sighed mrs. Arnot, "How Weak You Are, And How Foolish, In
Trusting So Greatly In a Mere Fellow-Creature."
"Yes, Mrs. Arnot, 'Weak And Foolish.' Those Two Words Now Seem To Sum Up
My Whole Life And All There Is Of Me."
"And Yet," She Added earnestly, "If You Will, You Can Still Achieve A
Strong, And Noble Character. O That You Had The Courage And Heroic Faith
In God To Fight Out This Battle To The End! Should You Do So, As I Told
You Before, You Would Be Ideal Knight. Heaven Would Ring With Your
Praise, However Unfriendly The World Might Be. I Cannot Conceive Of A
Grander Victory Than That Of A Debased nature Over Itself. If You Should
Win Such A Victory, Egbert--If, In addition, You Were Able, By The
Blessing Of God On Your Efforts, To Build Up A Strong, True Character--I
Would Honor You Above Other Men, Even Though You Remained a Wood-Sawyer
All Your Days," And Her Dark Eyes Became Lustrous With Deep Feeling as
She Spoke.
Haldane Looked at Her Fixedly For A Moment, And Grew Very Pale. He Then
Spoke Slowly And In a Low Tone:
"To Fail After What You Have Said And After All Your Kindness Would Be
Terrible. To Continue My Old Vile Self, And Also Remember The Prospect
You Now Hold Out--What Could Be Worse? And Yet What I Shall Do, What I
Shall Be, God Only Knows. But In sending You To Me I Feel That He Has
Given Me One More Chance."
"Egbert," She Replied eagerly, "God Will Give You Chances As Long As You
Breathe. Only The Devil Will Tell You To Despair. He, _Never_. Remember
This Should You Grow Old In sin. To Tell You The Truth, However, As I
See You Going Out Into The World So Humbled, So Self-Distrustful, I Have
Far More Hope For You Than When You First Left This Place, Fully Assured
That You Were, In yourself, Sufficient For All Your Peculiar
Difficulties. And Now, Once More, Good-By, For A Time. I Will Do
Everything I Can For You. I Have Seen Mr. Growther To-Day, And He
Appears Very Willing That You Should Return To His House For The
Present. Strange Old Man! I Want To Know Him Better, For I Believe His
Evil Is Chiefly On The Outside, And Will Fall Off Some Day, To His Great
Surprise."
Chapter XXXII (A Sacred refrigerator)The Glare Of The Streets Was Intolerable To Haldane After His
Confinement, And He Hastened through Them, Looking Neither To The Right
Hand Nor To The Left. A Growl From Mr. Growther'S Dog Greeted him As He
Entered, And The Old Man Himself Snarled:
"Well, I S'Pose You Stood Me As Long As You Could, And Then Went To
Prison For A While For A Change."
"You Are Mistaken, Mr. Growther; I Went To Prison Because I Deserved to
Go There, And It'S Very Good Of You To Let Me Come Back Again."
"No, It Ain'T Good Of Me, Nuther. I Want A Little Peace And Comfort, And
How Could I Have 'Em While You Was Bein' Kicked and Cuffed around The
Streets? Here, I'Ll Get You Some Dinner. I S'Pose They Only Gave You
Enough At Jail To Aggravate Your In'Ards."
"No, Nothing More, Please. Isn'T There Something I Can Do? I'Ve Sat
Still Long Enough."
Mr. Growther Looked at Him A Moment, And Then Said:
"Are You Sayin' That Because You Mean It?"
"Yes."
"Would You Mind Helpin' Me Make A Little Garden? I Know I Ought To Have
Done It Long Ago, But I'M One Of Those 'Crastinating Cusses, And
Rheumatic In the Bargain."
"I'Ll Make Your Garden On The One Condition That You Stand By And Boss
The Job."
"O, I'M Good At Bossin', If Nothing Else. There Ain'T Much Use Of
Plantin' Anything, Though, For Every Pesky Bug And Worm In town Will
Start For My Patch As Soon As They Hear On'T."
"I Suppose They Come On The Same Principle That I Do."
"They Hain'T So Welcome--The Cussed little Varmints! Some On 'Em Are So
Blasted mean That I Know I Ought To Be Easier On 'Em Just Out Of Feller
Feelin'. Them Cut-Worms Now--If They'D Only Take A Plant And Satisfy
Their Nateral Appetites On It, It Would Go A Good Ways, And The Rest O'
The Plants Would Have A Chance To Grow Out Of Harm'S Way; But The Nasty
Little Things Will Jest Eat 'Em Off Above The Ground, As If They Was Cut
In Two By A Knife, And Then Go On To Anuther. That'S What I Call A Mean
Way Of Gettin' A Livin'; But There'S Lots Of People Like 'Em In town,
Who Spile More Than They Eat. Then There'S The Squash-Bug. If It'S His
Nater To Eat Up The Vines I S'Pose He Must Do It, But Why In thunder
Must He Smell Bad Enough To Knock You Over Into The Bargain? It'S Allers
Been My Private Opinion That The Devil Made These Pests, And The Lord
Had Nothin' To Do With 'Em. The Idea That He Should Create A Rose, And
Then A Rose-Bug To Spile It, Ain'T Reconcilable To What Little Reason
I'Ve Got."
"Well,"
Comments (0)