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Constant Theme Of Newspaper Squibs. You At Least Owe

It To Us To Let This Scandal Die Out As Speedily As Possible. If You

Will Comply With These Most Reasonable Requirements, I Will See That You

Have An Abundant Support. If You Will Not, I Have No Evidence Of A

Change In your Character; Nor Can I See Any Better Way Than To Leave You

To Suffer The Consequences Of Your Folly Until You Do Come To Your

Senses."

 

 

 

"Mother, Do You Think A Young Fellow Of My Years And Energy Could Go To

An Out-Of-The-Way Place, And Just Mope, Eat, And Sleep For The Sake Of

Being Supported? I Would Rather Starve First. I Fear We Shall Never

Understand Each Other; And I Have Reached that Point In life When I Must

Follow My Own Conscience. I Shall Leave To-Morrow Morning Before Any Of

You Are Up; And In my Old Working Clothes. Good-By;" And Before They

Could Realize It He Had Kissed them And Left The Room.

 

 

 

They Weakly Sighed as Over The Inevitable; But One Of His Sisters Said,

"He Will Be Glad Enough To Come To Your Terms Before Winter."

 

Chapter XL (Human Nature)

At An Early Hour Haldane, True To His Purpose, Departed from The Home Of

His Childhood In the Guise Of A Laborer, As He Had Come. His Mother

Heard His Step On The Stairs, For She Had Passed a Sleepless Night,

Agitated by Painful Emotions. She Wished to Call Him Back; She Grieved

Over His Course As A "Dark And Mysterious Providence," As A Misfortune

Which, Like Death, Could Not Be Escaped; But With The Persistence Of A

Little Mind, Capable Of Taking But A Single And Narrow View, She Was

Absolutely Sure She Was Right In her Course, And That Nothing But Harsh

And Bitter Experience Would Bring Her Wayward Son To His Senses.

 

 

 

Nor Did It Seem That The Harsh Experience Would Be Wanting, For The

Morning Was Well Advanced when He Reached his Place Of Work, And He

Received a Severe Reprimand From The Foreman For Being So Late. His

Explanation, That He Had Received permission To Be Absent, Was

Incredulously Received. It Also Seemed that Gibes, Taunts, And Sneers

Were Flung At Him With Increasing Venom By His Ill-Natured associates,

Who Were Vexed that They Had Not Been Able To Drive Him Away By Their

Persecutions.

 

 

 

But The Object Of Their Spite Was Dwelling In a World Of Which They Knew

Nothing, And In which They Had No Part, And, Almost Oblivious Of Their

Existence, He Performed his Mechanical Duty In almost Undisturbed

Serenity.

 

 

 

Mr. Growther Welcomed him Back Most Heartily And With An Air Of Eager

Expectation, And When Haldane Briefly But Graphically Narrated his

Experience, He Hobbled up And Down The Room In a State Of Great

Excitement.

 

 

 

"You'Ve Got It! You'Ve Got It! And The Genuine Article, Too, As Sure As

My Name Is Jeremiah Growther!" He Exclaimed; "I'D Give The Whole Airth,

And Anything Else To Boot, That Was Asked, If I Could Only Git Religion.

But It'S No Use For Me To Think About It; I'M Done, And Cooled off, And

Would Break Inter Ten Thousand Pieces If I Tried to Change Myself. I

Couldn'T Feel What You Feel Any More Than I Could Run And Jump As You

Kin. My Moral J'Ints Is As Stiff As Hedge-Stakes. If I Tried to Git Up A

Little Of Your Feelin', It Would Be Like Tryin' To Hurry Along The

Spring By Buildin' A Fire On The Frozen Ground. It Would Only Make One

Little Spot Soft And Sloppy; The Fire Would Soon Go Out: Then It Would

Freeze Right Up Agin. Now, With You It'S Spring all Over; You Feel

Tender And Meller-Like, And Everything Good Is Ready To Sprout. Well,

Well! If I Do Have To Go To Old Nick At Last, I'M Powerful Glad He'S Had

This Set-Back In your Case."

 

 

 

Long And Earnestly Did Haldane Try To Reason His Quaint Friend Out Of

His Despairing Views Of Himself. At Last The Old Man Said Testily:

 

 

 

"Now, Look Here; You'Re Too New-Fledged a Saint To Instruct A Seasoned

And Experienced old Sinner Like Me. You Don'T Know Much About The Lord'S

Ways Yet, And I Know All About The Devil'S Ways. Because You'Ve Got Out

Of His Clutches (And I'M Mighty Glad You Have) You Needn'T Make Light Of

Him, And Take Liberties With Him As If He Was Nobody, 'Specially When

Scripter Calls Him 'A Roarin' Lion.' If I Was As Young As You Be, I'D

Make A Dead Set To Git Away From Him; But After Tryin' More Times Than

You'Ve Lived years, I Know It Ain'T No Use. I Tell You I Can'T Feel As

You Feel, Any More Than You Can Squeeze Water Out Of Them Old Andirons.

A-A-H!"

 

 

 

Haldane Was Silent, Feeling That The Old Man'S Spiritual Condition Was

Too Knotty A Problem For Him To Solve.

 

 

 

After A Few Moments Mr. Growther Added, In a Voice That He Meant To Be

Very Solemn And Impressive:

 

 

 

"But I Want You To Enjoy Your Religious Feelin'S All The Same. I Will

Listen To All The Scripter Readin' And Prayin' You'Re Willin' To Do,

Without Makin' Any Disturbance. Indeed, I Think I Will Enjoy My Wittles

More, Now That An Honest Grace Can Be Said Over 'Em. An' When You Read

The Bible, You Needn'T Read The Cussin' Parts, If Yer Don'T Want To.

I'Ll Read 'Em To Myself Hereafter. I'Ll Give You All The Leeway That An

Old Curmudgeon Like Myself Kin; And I Expect To Take A Sight O' Comfort

In Seein' You Goin' On Your Way Rejoicin'."

 

 

 

And He Did Seem To Take As Much Interest In the Young Man'S Progress And

New Spiritual Experiences As If He Alone Were The One Interested. His

Efforts To Control His Irritability And Profanity Were Both Odd And

Pathetic, And Haldane Would Sometimes Hear Him Swearing Softly To

Himself, With Strange Contortions Of His Wrinkled face, When In former

Times He Would Have Vented his Spite In the Harshest Tones.

 

 

 

Haldane Wrote Fully To Mrs. Arnot Of His Visit To His Native City And

Its Happy Results, And Enlarged upon His Changed feelings As The Proof

That He Was A Changed man.

 

 

 

Her Reply Was Prompt And Was Filled with The Warmest Congratulations And

Expressions Of The Sincerest Sympathy. It Also Contained these Words:

 

 

 

"I Fear That You Are Dwelling Too Largely Upon Your Feelings And

Experiences, And Are Giving To Them A Value They Do Not Possess. Not

That I Would Undervalue Them--They Are Gracious Tokens Of God'S Favor;

But They Are Not The Grounds Of Your Salvation And Acceptance With God."

 

 

 

Haldane Did Not Believe That They Were--He Had Been Too Well Taught For

That--But He Regarded them As The Evidences That He Was Accepted, That

He Was A Christian; And He Expected them To Continue, And To Bear Him

Forward, And Through And Over The Peculiar Trials Of His Lot, As On A

Strong And Shining Tide.

 

 

 

Mrs. Arnot Also Stated that She Was Just On The Eve Of Leaving Home For

A Time, And That On Her Return She Would See Him And Explain More Fully

Her Meaning.

 

 

 

In Conclusion, She Wrote: "I Think You Did What Was Right And Best In

Returning To Hillaton. At Any Rate, You Have Reached that Age When You

Must Obey Your Own Conscience, And Can No Longer Place The

Responsibility Of Your Action Upon Others. But, Remember, That You Owe

To Your Mother The Most Delicate Forbearance And Consideration. You

Should Write To Her Regularly, And Seek To Prove That You Are Guided by

Principle Rather Than Impulse. Your Mother Has Much Reason To Feel As

She Does, And Nothing Can Excuse You From The Sacred duties You Owe To

Her."

 

 

 

Haldane Did Write As Mrs. Arnot Suggested. In a Few Days He Received the

Following Letter From His Mother:

 

 

 

"We Shall Sail For Europe As Soon As We Can Get Ready For The Journey.

Our Lawyer Is Making all The Necessary Arrangements For Us. I Will Leave

Funds With Him, And Whenever You Are Ready In good Faith To Accept My

Offer, Leave Hillaton, And Live So That This Scandal Can Die Out, You

Can Obtain From Him The Means Of Living Decently And Quietly. As It Is,

I Live In daily Terror Lest You Again Do Something Which Will Bring Our

Name Into The Hillaton Papers; And, Of Course, Everything Is Copied by

The Press Of This City. Will The Time Ever Come When You Will Consider

Your Mother'S And Sisters' Feelings?"

 

 

 

For A Time All Went As Well As Could Be Expected in the Trying

Circumstances Of Haldane'S Life. His Prayers For Strength And Patience

Were At First Earnest, And Their Answers Seemed assured--So Assured,

Indeed, That In times Of Haste And Weariness Prayer Eventually Came To

Be Hurried or Neglected. Before He Was Aware Of It, Feeling Began To Ebb

Away. He At Last Became Troubled, And Then Alarmed, And Made Great

Effort To Regain His Old, Happy Emotions And Experiences; But, Like An

Outgoing Tide, They Ebbed steadily Away.

 

 

 

His Face Indicated his Disquiet And Anxiety, For He Felt Like One Who

Was Clinging To A Rope That Was Slowly Parting, Strand By Strand.

 

 

 

Keen-Eyed mr. Growther Watched him Closely, And Was Satisfied that

Something Was Amiss. He Was Much Concerned, And Took Not A Little Of The

Blame Upon Himself.

 

 

 

"How Can A Man Be A Christian, Or Anything Else That'S Decent, When He

Keeps Such Cussed company As I Be?" He Muttered. "I S'Pose I Kinder

Pisen And Wither Up His Good Feelin'S Like A Sulphuric Acid Fact'Ry."

 

 

 

One Evening He Exclaimed to Haldane, "I Say, Young Man, You Had Better

Pull Out O' Here."

 

 

 

"What Do You Mean?"

 

 

 

"I'Ll Give You A Receipt In full And A Good Character, And Then You Look

For A Healthier Boardin'-Place."

 

 

 

"Ah, I See! You Wish To Be Rid Of Me?"

 

 

 

"No, You Don'T See, Nuther. I Wish You To Be Rid Of Me."

 

 

 

"Of Course, If You Wish Me To Go, I'Ll Go At Once," Said Haldane, In a

Despondent Tone.

 

 

 

"And Go Off At Half-Cock Into The Bargain? I Ain'T One Of The Kind, You

Know, That Talks Around Robin Hood'S Barn. I Go Straight In at The Front

Door And Out At The Back. It'S My Rough Way Of Coming To The P'Int At

Once. I Kin See That You'Re Runnin' Behind In speret'Al Matters, And I

Believe That My Cussedness Is Part To Blame. You Don'T Feel Good As You

Used to. It Would Never Do To Git Down At The Heel In these Matters,

'Cause The Poorest Timber In the Market Is Yer Old Backsliders. I'D

Rather Be What I Am Than Be A Backslider. The Right Way Is To Take These

Things In time, Before You Git Agoin' Down Hill Too Fast. It Isn'T That

I Want To Git Rid Of You At All. I'Ve Kinder Got Used to You, And Like

To Have You 'Round 'Mazingly; But I Don'T S'Pose It'S Possible For You

To Feel Right And Live With Me, And So You Had Better Cut Stick In time,

For You Must Keep A-Feelin' Good And Pi'Us-Like, My Boy, Or It'S All Up

With You."

 

 

 

"Then You Don'T Want Me To Go For The Sake Of Your Own Comfort?"

 

 

 

"Not A Bit Of It. I Only Want You To Git Inter A Place That Isn'T So

Morally Pisened as This, Where I Do So Much Cussin'; For I Will And Must

Cuss As Long As There'S An Atom Left Of Me As Big As A Head Of A Pin.

A-A-H!"

 

 

 

"Then I Prefer To Take My Chances With You To Going anywhere Else."

 

 

 

"Think Twice."

 

 

 

"I Have Thought More Than Twice."

 

 

 

"Then Yer Blood Be On Yer Own Head," Said Mr. Growther With Tragic

Solemnity, As If He Were About To Take Haldane'S Life. "My Skirts Is

Clear After This Warnin'."

 

 

 

"Indeed they Are. You Haven'T Done Me A Bit Of Harm."

 

 

 

"Where Does The Trouble Come From Then? Who Is A-Harmin' You?"

 

 

 

"Well, Mr. Growther," Said Haldane, Wearily, "I Hardly Know What Is The

Matter. I

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