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i feel hurt all over again. I drink beer after beer after beer, and the more drunk i get, the more distinct her image in my mind becomes. I am hallucinating her.

 

After i don't know how long, i leave the cafe and head to the bank. I withdraw 10,000 dollars. I stuff the money into a black plastic bag that the bank clerk gives me. He says be careful. I go back to the Black Canal and straight to the coffee shop where i meet the goons. They are already there: the tall skinny guy, the short fat guy, and two other punks. Beer bottles are all over their table and on the floor; and their faces are as red as cooked lobsters. They look up when they see me walk in. I sit down and give the tall skinny guy the plastic bag. He is the boss, now i am sure. The two new guys look intimidating. They both wear black t-shirts and expose the tattoos on their muscled arms. One has a scar on his forehead that runs down to his bony left cheek. The boss opens the bag and empties the cash onto the table, and he starts counting. All 100-dollar bills.

 

How do i have too much money? I have 10 credit cards and each carries a 5,000 dollar credit line. I am taking on big time debt, all because of that girl, the girl that i am head over heel for. I can't believe what i am doing, but i feel strongly that i must do this: this may be my last chance at risking all for love, even dying for love. I don't have much time left. And i want to do something extraordinary for the last time in my life before i die. I am a carrier of diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, a sick liver, and this body is waiting to die. And it is fantastic that the thing i am doing is in the name of love. I don't give a fuck if what i am doing is legal or illegal, humane or inhumane, i just want to be with my beloved for a few days. I am throwing all my reasons out the window, and happy about that. Very happy. My only concern right now is the success of the kidnapping.

 

The tall guy finishes counting the money and hands the fat guy a thick wad, and the other two guys a wad each. I don't know how much he gives his troops, but it looks as if a larger portion is for himself. They all put the money in their pants' pockets; and their faces suddenly turn tense. I pour half a bottle of beer down my throat, and say:

 

-Who is going to do this?

 

It is already dark. The old woman sits behind the counter. This time we are drinking beer with ice. I have three goons working for me on this project. And i know that after this adventure i will be under a mountain of debt. But i don't care. Love is everything for me right now, and i am willing to take all risks in order to satisfy this thirst. Including the risk of prison. My heart is on fire and only D can put out the fire. So i say to the goons:

-Here is what i want you to do.

 

They are all ears.

 

-I want you to pick up this girl against her will and bring her to Vung Tau, using any means necessary. I want you to do it tomorrow, and bring her to me at a hotel where i will stay. This is her address. And this is what she looks like--i show them a picture of D--In the early morning, you will stake her out at her house, follow her to school, and you will knock her off her bike gently, and i emphasize gently, and put her in a car, and drive her to Vung Tau. I will call you before noon tomorrow to let you know what hotel i will be in. You will ask for me at the front desk and bring her to my room---and your job is done. Of course, another ten thousand dollars awaits you at the end of the mission. She is not going to get hurt, not even a slight bruise. Any questions?

 

-No questions.

-Ok, don't screw up. Now what is your phone number?

 

The boss swaggers to the counter and a minute later comes back and hands me a piece of toilet paper on which he has written a phone number. Then one of the goons says:

 

-Excuse me, but why do you want to do this?

-Because i love her and want to have her.

-She does not love you?

-No. She says i am too old for her.

-What a bitch. And the bitch don't look too bad.

-I tell you. You may call a her bitch, she is the most beautiful bitch in the world. Whoever sees her and does not fall in her with her is a heartless brute. I am afraid that you punks will fall in love with her too when you see her.

-Oh no--one of the punks says--that is not going to happen. We are all business, sir. And our boss here will see to it that we do not fall in love with your woman. Because if we do, he will excommunicate us, and we will have no where to go and no one to protect us.

-What? Buffalo-heads and horse-faces like you ....., i says, wondering why the goon says such a sissy thing.

-Sir, you don't know our boss. He has all the local cops in his pockets. He is the authority in this hood, and in other surrounding hoods also. We need his intervention and protection in case the cops mess with us. You know what i mean.

 

I glance at the boss. He is silent and has no re-action to what the goon says. Then i say:

 

-Take care not to injure her.

-We will handle her like a Ming vase, sir. Because she is your object of love and desire and we respect that very much. We admire and revere your devotion to your object of desire, and we will deliver her to you safe and sound, all in one package.

-Make sure you don't fall in love with her, and delay the delivery, and don't do to things to her that may make me angry.

-Sir, that is not going to happen. We promise you. We are hardened sonsofbitches, and we have no feelings for anything or anyone. We only love money.

 

At this the boss says:

 

-If any of you do anything against this gentleman's wishes, i will cut off your dicks and run you out of town.

 

Then i say:

-Good night and good luck. I expect my love will be handed to me at 3 pm tomorrow.

 

Then we leave the shop and disperse. That night i sleep well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nine

 

In the morning at around nine i return the room. The clerk asks me if i had a good stay at the hotel and i say i had a terrific stay and may come back in about a week. I head straight to the speedboat anchor on the Sai Gon River The boat takes 45 minutes to get to Vung Tau, a resort town by the ocean two hundred kilometers from Sai Gon. I have never been to this town before. As soon as i get off the boat, swarms of taxi drivers converge on me and other passengers. I nod to one of the drivers and walk with him to his cab. Where to, he asks. I don't know where i am going. But i want some place nice and quiet, as far from people as possible. So i tell the guy, take me to the most quiet hotel you know, a place where business is so slow they want to close it down, a place people don't even know exists. The driver looks at me curiously. I can see his face in the rear view mirror. I don't care what he thinks. Of course i am weird. Perhaps he thinks i am running away from something or trying to hide from something. Fuck what he thinks. Never in a million years that he know i am going to enjoy heaven on earth. Yes, it will be heaven, even if there are no white clouds and blue skies, and no maidens in flowing dresses or naked and winged angels.

 

After a twenty minute ride the guy drops me off at a place that from the outside, looks abandoned, almost a ruin. The rusty sign above the entrance says "Bliss Hotel." It is on a dirt road off the main road, but not far from the beach, a walled compound, and the walls are green with moss. I pay the driver, and walk through the entrance and into the reception area. There is no one around, even though the door and all the windows are wide open. It is near 11 o'clock. I call out for whoever may hear me. Once. Twice. Then from the back and through a door out comes a guy as tall and skinny as a bamboo stick. He positions himself behind the counter and with a wide smile asks me if i want a room. I say to him:

 

-Yes i want a room for two people.

-Where is the other?

-The other will come soon. Do you have a room for me?

-Yes, for two, ha? You and your girlfriend?

-Me and whoever is none of your business. How much is the room? Fifteen dollars a day. Air-conditioned.

-Good. How many beds?

-Two beds.

-Now--i say--i will pay triple for the room each day and i will stay about 7 days. And i will pay you 500 dollars extra so that you can shut up about my staying here. Ok?

-Sir? The guy says and his eyes are wide open. It looks as if i have just hit him in the head with a brick.

-I mean i don't want to register as a guest here. You don't need to see my passport. And no local security is aware of my presence here.

-Hmmm.... but why...He says and swallows.

-No why, no if, and, or but. You agree or no?

-I agree, he says and now a big smile appears on his bony face.

 

I place 500 dollars on the counter. He counts the money

, and puts it in his pocket.

 

-Now this is for the whole 7 days that i will stay here, i say and count out the money and give it to him. He counts again and put it in his pocket.

-What floor you want, sir?

-The top floor, the best room, a room with a spectacular view of the ocean and the mountains. A room high above the ground enough where if i jump i will break my neck and die. A room where even if i scream at the top of my lungs no one will hear.

 

-You got it, he says and walks me up the stairs to the fifth floor. On the way, i ask him, how many people are staying here now? And he says, there is one other guest. And where is he? He is on the second floor, sir. That's all? That's all.

 

We walk to a room at the end of the hall and enter a big room. He opens the windows and the ocean breezes rush in. Outside the windows, i see the blue ocean and the green mountains. Then the guy leaves. I take a shower, and go downstairs. The clerk is not at his desk. So i call out. Once. Twice. He comes out.

 

-Yes? He says.

-I need to give you more instructions.

-I am listening.

-In about an hour, a team of three or four men will be here with a girl and they will ask for me and you will take them to my room.

-Oh, ok.

-Despite what is going to happen, you will hear nothing and see nothing.

-I understand.

-Now can i use your phone, please?

 

He fishes his phone out of

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