My Special Audition, Owen Wilson, Naomi Hunt [best memoirs of all time .TXT] 📗

Chapter 1: Jabba Smith

My name is Jabba Smith, I am a young woman of 21 years of age and I have a special gift, my sex drive is basically never ending, never satisfied. And I want to share this trait with the world.

 

It was a late sunday night. Terrified I was prepping myself for my audition for the X factor UK. I was gonna sing the classic, I know what boys like, by the Waitresses. However unlike most contestants I had something a little extra... My little surprise.

 

I was only 10 minutes away from my big moment. Suddenly Dermot O'Leary approached me, little did he know that I secretly had a huge sexual desire for him with his chiseled features, you know what I mean (his huge "buddy") ;) Thats why I call him Dermot O "Large Loins" Leary.

 

After a brief interview with this beast of a man. It was time to face the music!!! (Get it, thats what they say on the show) Shaking in my boots, I trembled on stage and before me stood the 4 judges like 4 scary peas in a pod. We had Simon "Concrete Cock" Cowell, Sharon "Oblong minge" Osborne, Gary "Blue Balls" Barlow and finally (my favourite), Louis "Wet Willy" Walsh with his thick, seductive Welsh accent that would make anyone wet by just hearing it. My panic slipped away as my desires started to seep out.

 

Chapter 2: Almost Time

I was ready for my BIG performance, but Simon interrupted by asking such questions as "What is your name?" "What do you do for a living?" and "Cup size?" To which I answered "Jabba Smith", "Science Teacher" and "Double D". Clearly shocked by these answers, Simon looked clearly flustered, Sharon gave me a glare of jealousy as her breasts were now saggy and ancient. Not to mention the thousands of innocent souls who also have ancient saggy breasts, and the kids about to witness my...show...

  

               during this brief, absolute shit of an interview, which took fucking hours (2 minutes), it was my time to shine.

 

''HIT IT'' i shouted at Dermot O'Leary almost (99.9%) seductively..

 

As this wild song started playing it was time. Time to dance and terribly sing my little ditty. The back up dancers from star wars (apart from hans solo and princess leia) (rip)........

 

By this point im already sorta wet and my nipples began to show due to the rigidness caused by the thought of Simons big beefy cock. 

Chapter 3: The moment that you have been waiting for..

roughly 2 minutes into this frankly embarrassing song I had enough lollygaggin, I tear off my Shirt to begin with, exposing my rigid, hard nipples to many peoples surprise, but also to their secret pleasure. Firstly, I beckon Gary Barlow to the stage. Time to give those blue balls some action. He hesitantly dilly dallied to the stage, my nimble body awaits his girth.

He walks up to me and uttered to me "Im here, now what?"

As a response I swiftly yanked down his denim trousers to be greeted with him already being hard, and wearing a male g-string. Needless to say, I wasnt expecting that but it makes my show easier and more sensual. 

Paralysed by this sudden movement he just stood there as if to say "Cmon then, show us your minge"

I gladly obliged and stripped slowly until fully butt naked like the day I was born. Gary was now fully erect revealing his 10 inch wazza.

He was ready...

Chapter 4: Gary's first!

I instantaneously jerked towards his cock, mouth a-gaping until the entire shaft was trapped within my throat, I gagged violently but it was out of pure pleasure. He moaned a mighty roar as his peer judges watched in awe. The hundreds of audience members surely won't forget this day.

 

I gagged and gagged until he decided he wanted to take the rails. He threw me to the ground, caressing my body, kissing me all over and moved slowly down towards my moist meat flaps. I moaned with pleasure as his tongue slid up and down my pussy. His stubble tickled my inner thigh. For someone with the nickname "blue balls Barlow" He knew exactly how to please a slut like me.

 

10 minutes and many orgasms later, he got up, weiner in hand and inserted it gently into my choochie. He passionately thrusted his meat stick into me, while also flicking my clit. He flipped me with my face down, ass up and continued to thrust. I couldnt think this could get much better until... 

Chapter 5: New Challenger Approaching

While Gary was fucking me like the slut I am, Simon was clearly jealous and horny. He said "Right, thats enought!"

he came onto the stage and whipped out his baby maker. Somehow it looked even more delicious than Gary's. Right as I was about to cum, I pushed Gary away and shuffled over to Simon who was preparing himself for a good suckin'. I massaged his tip with my cock hungry tongue and wrapped his hog with my lips and jerked my head back and forth like a demented chicken. From the corner of my eye I caught a glimps of Dermot rubbing his big "buddy" backstage, watching the chaos carry out. When we connected eyes he looked at me with pure, child-like excitment. But I refused, I waved my finger at him as if to say "Not yet big boy, im saving space for you"

Returning my attention to Simon, his pecker was clearly itching for a scritching. So I gave him exactly what he wanted. I pushed him down until he was lying straight down and hopped onto his Richard and rode him til the cows came home, he grabbed my tits and began to suck em dry and stealthily sneaked his pinky into my anus. This was the best day of my life and im not even half way through... 

chapter 6: sharon ''oblong minge'' osborne

After the pleasurable moments with Simon, the jealous bitch Sharon, with her huge minge came strutting on stage, whipping out her 6 inch metal dildo, and rammed it in my wide cock-sucking mouth. She must be horny as fuck, but it was fine as I was also horny. I also proceeded to whip out anal beads and shoved them up her anus. She pulled of her bra in pleasure and pain. I stopped. I was shocked to see her saggy ancient breasts. 

THEY WERE NON EXISTENT! Everyone stopped, looking like their eyes were bleeding in horror, she was absolutely embarrased. Then she seductively pulled down her G-string and HOLY FUCK! Her clit was as saggy as her breasts. 

''do you like what you see?'' Sharon says sexually.

''NO IT IS DISGUSTING, girl you need surgery, major surgery!''

Now i know why she is called ''oblong minge'' it was fucking huge.

But oh well might as well have some fun with this beastly woman.

We kissed hard and passionaltey. She rubbed my clit fast and hard. oh fuck that was some wierd shit

we are doing. I rubbed her non existent breasts and she moaned and groaned like an ogre that she is.

 

We were having fun until.....

Chapter 7: Return of Louis ''Wet Willy'' Walsh

''Stop'' shouts a welsh accent that makes mine and everyones pussy (or cock) wet, wetter than a water fountain.

''come here daddy'' i say ripping all of my clothes of