The Reptilian Telepathy of Birds, R.K. Galvez [life changing books .TXT] 📗

/> However, Tellman and Norkgrub stuck together. That was until they crashed the Tymecraft and ended up here. Norkgrub didn't mind it, but Tellman faded away again, tied to the death of the tyme-craft. It was a shame they couldn't fix it. Maybe Tellman had pursued his dream of being a Life Coach Guru based in Frinton-on-sea.


*[ * ]*

Krugler pondered upon this very point for what seemed like years. The Once-upon-a-time concept had ended pre-maturely. That era of a fresh history was properly concluded. Time was timeless and golden once again. The colony was a disaster; he should have given up and tried to go back into stasis.

Nothing really operated properly; it was barely functional - apart from the “bots”, of course. These “bots” were even a bit odd and only fixed what they could. And they repaired themselves, as they were stolen from a secret C.O.G. department in 1955. Apparently, those robots were millions of years old and had first helped the Incas. They were hired out though, so Krugler had never really known much about them. He didn't spend much time on background information.

There was a knock at Krugler's cabin door. He checked the old viewscreen and just made out Corporal Ludovic standing there, looking ill. He had obviously just masturbated and taken too much Vitamin acids. Krugler wondered if his physician was still Dr L.S.Dee.

Krugler hadn't seen his doctor for a long time. He wondered what had become of all the medical team. Krugler was unable to turn the viewscreen off. The picture fuzzed as a million mutated faces entered the viewscreen, drooling and snarling.

They looked quite cute. Krugler looked in his drawer and found an old copy of 'Inside Sun Lodge' by Frater Shiva. He looked at it some more and realized the occult commentator Mr. J. Cornelius had left some notes in it.

What great news, thought Krugler. Some free advice. Unfortunately, Krugler was unable to read it all and decided to give up trying to comprehend it all. His eyes started to ache and his nose started to run a strange silver mucous. He did not want to come back as a snail again. He had been there before.

Krugler put on his E.C.U. glasses, and decided to re-activate the auto-door. Ludovic entered through it, still looking ill. The auto-door was made of recycled space-foil, so you could accidentally walk through it if you wanted to. Most things had been recycled with junk metals collected from around Earth's orbit.

Of course, nothing was made to last. Krugler tuned the E.C.U. glasses right into Ludovic's face, zoomed right in on his chin. A tiny penis made of pus was growing on his chin; it was growing like a tiny pimple. It must be aroused. Krugler had never noticed it before. It almost freaked him out.

There was almost something sexual in the atmosphere. The life-death cycle games had already started - what kind of cosmic pawns had they become? The conversation between Krugler and Ludovic went something like this:

"What's wrong with you?" Krugler hissed.

Image: erect penis sheathed in a futuristic metallic thong.

"What?" Ludovic replied, looking a bit confused.

Image: A pubis covered in blood; a wooden phallus, with the sign of Phul carved into it, slowly being guided towards the bloody pubis by some kind of invisible force.

"You know?"

Image: A burnt crucifix, being covered in bloody ejaculate.

"What?"

Image: A picture of Edward Kelley slowly coming back to...

"The message seems to be..." Krugler whispered, a strange sense of euphoria casually toying with his vital organs.

"I got the bots on it," said Ludovic.

Image: A little plant-man turning into a giant tortoise-bird.

"...They'll fix it, they always do, but--"

Krugler suddenly held his groin.

Image: a million flowers flowered; blood and detritus seeping from their petals as a million mutants copulated in a disgusting ooze orgy.

"...I was saying about--" Ludovic started, but gasped as if in a moment of extreme euphoria.

Krugler stared at Ludovic. Was this a spontaneous orgasmic combustion? He was not used to being a queer hero. He needed to research this form of mutated repression.

Image: A mushroom monster floats through the streets of Camden; Krugler smiles behind the mushroom monster, his penis glowing, erect like a wizard's rune-staff. One too many...

"I need you to, er, well, uh..." Krugler murmured, looking even more confused.

Ludovic shouted: "WHAT?" Ludovic was perspiring blood; Krugler saw the blood-pustules close up, as if they were giant insects.

Image: A freshly cooked pie, full of mushrooms and pieces of cacti, garnished with datura compound.

"You know? Damn it, Ludovic, I forgot what I was going to say!", Krugler snapped.

Image: Filtered sepia of a thousand factories burning chemicals; a giant tongue with a multi-coloured sugar cube on it, slowly dissolving.

"WHAT?" Ludovic whimpered.

Image: A giant zombie caveman on a giant winged lizard, like a pterodactyl. Maybe it was the other winged lizards. Krugler had no idea.

What was he thinking? He looked around and was unable to see; his sweat was looking like liquid flesh. It was not hurting him; maybe this was how Mr Fantastic felt? He had no idea of what he was thinking; Krugler slowly realized one key thing: he was losing the grip of his so-called reality. It must be stasis sickness.

Ludovic was banging on the floor, soiling himself; a strange purple-green faeces bubbled from his mouth, slowly spraying out of every pore. Ludovic obviously needed to get rid of some excrement brain-bug inside him. His flesh started to peel away, turning into fluffy fat flurries of skin-snow. Krugler was embarrassed, but slightly aroused by this show of affection.

Ludovic's mutation went on for some time. They probably both wanted to kill each other after a few minutes. Krugler didn't want any of Ludovic's polluted mutant blood. Krugler had a idea his Corporal would instantly mutate after this unprofessional outburst.

Krugler checked Ludovic's file on his i-e-perso-file.

Ludovic had married a muto-transgen pzi-sex worker called Anu. Anu was from the Sea of Tranquility and had become more unstable as the colony's infrastructure programme developed. She was always a bit odd, despite being considered an elite alpha wave tracer. Someone must have pulled the plug somewhere, thought Krugler.

After keying in Ludovic's file, browsing at where he went to school and all that boring information nobody really gives a shit about at interviews. Krugler sighed before deleting it all. One less member of staff to worry about, he thought. His bosses would be pleased. It was a good efficiency saving. Goodmann and Goodnow would find out about this and Krugler needed their trade.

[[*]] [[*]] [[*]]

Trade was Zip Gregano's last thought. She had been sub-contracted by the C.O.G. and did not like their slapdash practices. As a former intern of Professor Norkgrub, Zip had high academic standards. She had finished her thesis and started a side-career as an occultist pornographer and producer.

It was something she had always wanted to do. Her sister, Elaine Pettifer, also worked for the C.O.G. but they had been separated at birth so they would never know they were sisters. Zip had to eliminate Agent Hubbard for that information; she captured his pzi-essence aura in a walnut shell from Cydonia. In return for Hubbard's eternal imprisonment, Zip said she would help support his zany cult.

It turned out to be a truly infernal bargain; maybe Hubbard had planned it all along. Zip hated his pseudo-academic writings and only ended up occasionally giving them logistical support. They paid well for the freelance work, but Zip was keeping a close eye on the organization, as it was very totalitarian. Others agents at the C.O.G. were keeping a close eye on it too, waiting to assimilate it for other hidden agendas. Zip didn't need to rely on funding, or handouts. She was a real freelancer.

However, Zip remained cautious. She had been given a new team by the C.O.G. and it looked like more "Demon-Tecs". A beetle-bear and some kind of ape-like stick-insect. Great, damn mutos will be the death of me, Zip thought as she prepared herself for stasis. She had an idea the moon would have more in store for her and her team than what her superiors Goodnow and Goodmann had briefed her on. It was always the way.

5) KLIXHELIXOOZE

As the time dragged, Ludovic had already consumed his faeces; the mutated excrement was rapidly reproducing inside him; his stomach bubbling up, struggling to contain the toxic gases. Krugler's crush had suddenly faded - it was one less random sexual encounter on the colony.

He was finding Ludovic "dense". As in a little bit stupid. Personally, it's a bit harsh of Krugler, considering Ludovic had been infected with some useless mutation, destroying his genetic structure and melding it to some unknown alien entity. It was all too complex for Krugler. He wasn't into total science and preferred magickal formulae; and the kind of unscientific surveys that keep newspapers in print, along with freebies.

Ludovic's stomach didn't explode, which was quite lucky. Ludovic's anus ballooned up, slowly transforming into small little anus-sacks. And each excrement creature was excreted naturally over a twelve hour period. Ludovic was fine, but had to excrete through a fleshy tube that used to be his nose.

Krugler was amazed Ludovic had survived his sudden mutation. What foul science had saved him? Krugler pondered. And how was it possible when resources were so minimal? Krugler needed to stop thinking about masturbation and cybernetic anal intercourse. He had never experienced sex magick before[he needed his blood sugar checking, too…] He took off his contact lenz-play-e-r and decided to go back to Kaboom another time. It was too futuristic, but a great way to kill stress.

Krugler thought of his great progress, constantly trying to fool himself that the colony was a success. It was as messy as spaghetti. He had personally thanked the bot-medics, though they were not too skilled in assisting humans. They had tried and somehow muddled to find a quick-fix. Medical science always had a solution, no matter how primitive it may look to other societies. The colony had to use whatever means it was able to get.

Thank goodness the evil images had stopped, thought Krugler. Krugler wiped sweat from his brow and tried to look serious. He felt like he was melting. He saw himself suddenly melting, then it all happening very slowly. Krugler then fainted for an unknown amount of time.

[[[[***]]]]

Norkgrub woke up in a flat in Hamburg in 1934. What a queer time! He had just lost another alien-porn book, although he might have left it somewhere in 1723. He might have left it in Paris in 1959. He had travelled too far, and too quickly. It was that timeless sick feeling. Professor Norkgrub loved it. He tried to mind-phone his intern and good friend, Zip Gregano.

"What's going on, Zip?" Professor Norkgrub spoke within his deep dark mind.

There was a long silence then, quite suddenly, that strangely familiar orgasmic sensation was experienced by