The Lecturer, Darshini Kalaichelvam [great book club books txt] 📗

Chapter 1 The Valentine Gift

Lord,why is it hard for him to love me? I love him so much. All I want was him to care and love me just the way I do. It hurts a lot,Lord. Please Lord,help me with this. I need You to make things right. In Jesus name,I pray and ask. Amen.

'Paula,why are you crying?,asked Paula's mother. Paula replied while wiping her tears,'Mum,nothing,was just praying to God.' 'Paula,are you thinking about your lecturer again? You know he doesn't appreciate you at all. Just think,you bought for him gifts,cared for him,buys for him food,but all he does was he posted on his facebook thanking his other students for buying him things. And you know what the Bible says about unequally yoked? It's difficult to marry a non believer,look at me? I loved your father for so many years,married him because he said he doesn't mind me going to church but after marriage,he told me he doesn't like that I'm going to church and disapproves it. It's hard,Paula. You know I have always wanted to go to church and pray and worship. And I still don't get it,he hurt you so much yet you are still going after him.

Paula kept quiet and right after her mum left,she cried out to God,she realised what her mum said was right but she loves him and deep inside her heart,she believe he will someday appreciate and love her. Plus,she doesn't see any reason of him not dating her as she is no longer his student.

One very fine day,Paula decided that she should see her lecturer. She went to the toys section quietly while her mum was at the supermarket with her father. She saw a cute teddy bear and realised that he would definitely love it. She immediately bought it and started to plan on how to pass it to him. So she then spoke to her dad about her intention of going to college. She was actually invited by her friend for a singing competiton so she decided to use it as a reason. Her father then told her angrily that she shouldn't spend time for her friends to which Paula was a bit upset. She hasn't gone out with any of her friends,nor did he took them out so why is it so hard for him to understand that for once he should try to let her out? After all,she is not going anywhere else,it's just to college.

The next day,as Paula went to college,she saw him,her former lecturer whom she had feelings for. He was walking towards his office and Paula was walking behind him quietly at a distance. He then turned and looked. Paula pretend not to see,but continued to walk while keeping her head down. He then approached her and they spoke like normal. After his class overed,Paula waited for him. She then handed him the teddy bear and the chocolate lava cake she had bought for him. He then told her not to waste money. Then she walked with him to his office hoping they would spend time together. However he said that he is going somewhere else for a meeting which made Paula sad.

After bidding goodbyes,Paula immediately went up to his office,she took out her student card which she had inserted a paper with her address written on it. She chucked it under his office door,hoping that he would see it when he comes back for class.

Chapter 2 The Time We First Met

'Focus Paula,you have to focus!.Remember your aim,you came to college not to fall in love but to study and graduate and get a good job. Once you have got a job,then you can think about falling in love,okay?,mumbled Paula to herself. Little did she know,things were about to change that day.

'Excuse me,is this accounting class? Paula immediately turned behind,there stand a fully bearded man wearing spectacles. 'Yes,it is!',answered Paula softly. The man then quickly replied,'Okay this is not where I would like to teach! We need to change class!'

Months passed by,and Paula just got her result,she was upset that she failed her paper and she cried it out to her lady lecturer from another paper. She saw her accounting lecturer and realised he wanted to speak to her but she immediately ran away. Her lady lecturer then saw Paula and confronted her. 'Paula,I told Sivasa about you. I told him that you were upset that you let him down. He wanted to look for you but I stopped him from doing that saying that it might scare you.' Paula then went to her class and was closing her face and crying. Outside her class,stood her accounting lecturer looking at her. Paula realised he was looking and but all she wanted was a time alone. She wasn't ready to speak to anyone.

The very next day,she went to speak to her lecturer. She heard him talking to another student on how even the weakest student passed their exams. It made her more upset as she would find it hurting is she were to hear him said that to her,considering she has a slight crush for him.

'Miss,Miss!' Paula turned behind just to see Mr Sivasa running after her. 'Did you message me,Hello sir,how are you?' Paula replied no to which Mr Sivasa said 'I thought you messaged me something?' Paula then said,'I just wanted to know if the syllabus are the same?' They then spoke for a while and then Mr Sivasa was about to walk away when he decided to turn back which made Paula moved back as he was close to her. He then asked her whether he looks scary. She then replied a bit which made Mr Sivasa laughed saying no.

Things passed by and Mr Sivasa and Paula became closer like friends. One fine day on Paula's birthday,she was hoping to receive a message from Mr Sivasa. She waited and waited but he didn't message her. She was upset that she decided to message him. She started with a normal conversation hoping he would wish her. At the end of the conversation,he then said,'Happy Birthday kid!' Paula was so upset to hear that word from him that she scolded Mr Sivasa saying she is not a kid and to stop calling her that way. She told him how she was waiting for his message and that his ex lecturer even wished her but he didn't. Then she said,'Well even my relatives didn't wish me,how can I expect you a stranger to remember my birthday?'

The next day,Paula tried studying but couldn't concentrate as she was upset about what happened. She was feeling guilty for scolding her crush that way. Then she received a message which says,'You're welcome.' It was from Mr Sivasa. She apologized to him for her behaviour. He then replied,it's okay. The next day she bought him some pastries from Starbucks. Few months have passed and Paula had graduated from college. One day she saw one of his students posted that he is getting married.

Paula asked Mr Sivasa if it was true. He replied yes and he will invite her. She then started crying to her mum who scolded her saying she told her a lot of times not to think of a person who makes her cry a lot. Paula then messaged Mr Sivasa congratulations and that she doesn't want his treat for her graduation. She then continued to prepare for her bible exam but she couldn't focus. She started crying for she really loved him and she had imagined about how they would make good spouse and parents. She then received a message,she didn't want to read it for she was already upset.She then calm herself and opened her inbox. It was Mr Sivasa saying that he is not getting married and that his students like to spread rumour and to not believe them. He was playing around with Paula. It was a big relieve for Paula but she still was trying to digest everything. They then met up few times and spend time together.

Chapter 3 The Hopes She Has Had Broken

Paula hope he will see her student card for she really want him to meet her often and spend time with her. She hopes he will realise how much she loves him and will confess his love to her. Plus it's Valentines' Day on Tuesday.

It was Valentine's Day and he didn't come to meet her nor did she received any message from him regarding her student id. The hopes she had was shattered. The messages she sent to him was ignored by him though she knew it was read for he was online at that time. She soon realized she meant nothing to him. She should have known when the name plate she bought for him for his office wasn't even fixed on his office door. How could she be stupid? How could she believe he will love her? She realized that there was no point in her thinking about him anymore and hence she decided to move on with her life with a broken heart. He doesn't exist in her life anymore.

Text: Darshini
Images: Darshini
Editing: Darshini
Translation: Darshini
Publication Date: 02-10-2017

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Dedication:
Dedicate this to my family..love you all