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to jump off the building. why?"
"He uh. He tried to kill himself once, I had to talk him out of it. he wasn't listening to anyone else."
"Why'd he want to do it?"
"Jake's fighting inner monsters. He was confused. Our brother Conner was mad at him. he said, he couldn't take it and he wanted to to kill himself. I died a little for him that day. I wanted to hold him, but i was far away."
"How'd you do it?"
"Told him it's not worth it, told him I loved him, and i needed him, and that Conner needed to cool off."
"Must of been hard."
"Talking your sibling out of their death is the hardest thing I have had to Indore. it always will be. there's no worse pain than when your sibling says, I love you, but I'm going to take my life. nothings worse."
"Yep. Death sucks." he said, tightening his grip on my arm.
"I know we both sworn off on attachment. but it seems where both pretty messed up, so why don't we try to be friends?"
"Yeah. No way am I letting you go."
"Thanks."
"For what?"
"For what you just said." I looked up at him. "It means more to me then you'll ever know."
"Your welcome." he smiled.
My Mom sat down.
"Jake's coming back."
"he is? When? How?"
"I don't know yet but Carson will pick him up. you Know how Jake is."
"yeah." i said, sitting back against Ricky.
Jake always says he's coming home, and I always get excited only he never comes home.
"Why'd you come back in?"
"Oh Carson's talking to his Mommy." She said flicking her smoke.
"If your going to stay here Ricky, you have to be brought up to speed." she said, then launching into the story.
Moral of the story is His Mom and Josh think my mom's weird do they don't like her, and Mom isn't fake, well most of the time. Unlike me, if I don't like you you'll know. Except for Alice, Jake's girlfriend, I'm nice to her cause, I love Jake. Ricky, listened intently, playing with a strand of my hair. I kindly stopped him.
"Sorry." he smiled, looking back to my Mom.
****
"So what do you like to do?" he asked, as we sat on the porch swing that sits two.
Mom went to pick up the kids from school. Ricky swung us softly, with his abnormally long legs.
"I like to write."
"What?"
"Books, songs, you know the works."
"Can i hear something?"
"I don't know."
The van pulled up, and my sister got out.
"Hey bitch!" She called.
"Hey kid." i waved.
She got on the porch and sat on my lap, putting her legs on Ricky's lap. she texted her friend.
"oh I'm Blake by the way." she said, laughing.
Ricky smiled, and shook his head.
"So the dip shit, tried to start stuff again." Blake said looking back at me.
"You need new friends." i said, smoothing her hair.
"What?" Blake yelled.
"Nothing!" mom called.
"I know you bitches have food!" Blake said, jumping up, off the high porch and running to the car.
My other sister hid the bag of chips.
"Don't be a little dick, Ashlynn." Blake said trying to get some.
"Give her some." I said.
At my side Ricky smiled.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing." he said, looking at me.
He reached over and pushed my sun glasses up onto my head, and looked into my eyes. I smiled, and looked down.
Trent got out of the car, and went to get some chips.
"Get in the car, we're going to the park." mom called.
"Come with me." Ricky said, getting up.
I followed him, into his room. As he moved around he mumbled to himself.
"This for you." He said, picking up a jacket and then handing it to me.
"Are you a clean freak?" I asked, Putting my arm's through the jacket.
"Give me a week." he said.
I zipped up the jacket.
"Can you hold these?" he muttered.
I took his guitar case, and his camera. He put on a jacket and some converse. He took the guitar case.
"I got this one." I said, as he reached for the camera.
We got into the Middle seat of the van and drove to the park.
"This is good." he said, sitting at the base of a tree.
He took his guitar out.
"Can you hold a camera straight?" He asked, not mean.
"I record my cousin all the time." I said, turning on the camera. "When your ready." I nodded.
"Go ahead."
I turned it on and Nodded.
"Hey guys, Ricky Reed here, and I just finished a song, and I'd like to sing it I-" he paused and looked up at me from the camera.
"Continue." I said.
He smiled, "It's called Love for them. I hope you like it, if not that's cool, comment, subscribe, like, share with your friends, and have a awesome day."
I turned it off.
"Okay, just turn it back on, and then-"
"I know Ricky." I said.
He smiled.
"Now."
He performed the song.
"Thanks for watching. And uh, I hope everyone's okay today. Bye." he waved.
I Turned it off. As he put his guitar in the case, I rewind the tape. He sat on his knees, so we where identical. I played the tape.
"Is it good, or...."
"It's good thanks, Andy." He said, taking the camera.
"can I ask you a question?"
"Yep." I said, sitting cross legged.
"will you answer it with the truth?"
"I don't lie."
"Who abused you?" He asked.
He ran a hand through his hair and i flinched away.
"I'm sorry. I won't hurt you."
"Old habit. And Since I don't lie, I'll answer it another time. Okay?"
"Okay Tell me something else then." he said.
"I don't like to have my feet in socks, or under the blanket, in case I have to run. I don't like my hands, confined for too long in case I have to protect my self. I'm not too keen on scarfs I feel Choked. I don't like it when people play with my hair, it makes me feel like a little kid. I hate it when people don't believe me. Is that good?"
"Yes," he smiled, putting my sun glasses on my head.
******
"There she is!" Vic said, throwing her arms around me, smelling of Vodka.
"Here I am." I said, walking into the kitchen.
"Here." Scott said, handing me a shot.
I downed it.
"Here." Mom said, holding out a bottle of soda.
"What?"
"Chaser."
"I'm good."
"Your just like your brother."
I smiled, Jake taught me well.
"Here, you got a lot to catch up on kid." Scott said, giving me another one.
I drowned it and held out the glass. I shook my head when he tried to take it.
"More, Please." I said, wiping my mouth.
"Got anything else?" I asked, giving him the empty shot glass.
"Mud slide?" Vic offered.
"Fuck yes." I said, taking it.
"Hold it." Scott said, pouring some vodka into it.
"Oh don't do that!" Mom said.
I smiled, at her a chugged the large glass.
"Gross!" Mom said.
"Adda girl!" Scott said, holding up his hand.
I high fived him, and drank the shot Vic handed me.
"Stop trying to get my daughter drunk," Mom said.
"She likes it, head back Andy trust me." Scott said.
I put my head back and he poured some Jack Daniels into my mouth.
"Oooh I like that." I said, taking the bottle and chugging it.
"Share the love!" Vic said taking the bottle.
She laughed as i jumped back so what she made spill wouldn't get my shirt.
"Alcohol abuse!" Everyone in the kitchen yelled, pointing at her.
She took a swig from the bottle.
"You feeling it yet?" Scott asked.
"Nope." i said, pouring myself another shot.
"I have never met any girl who can down more than Andy." Carson said, taking a drink of his beer.
"I'll take that as a complement. Cheers." I said, hitting Scott's glass.
At the same time we tossed it back.
"Okay, take a break Andy, you'll regret it in the morning."
"Eh, I'll live."
"Break. Now. and drink some of this."
"Are you trying to kill my buzz, that won't hurry up?" i asked, taking a drink of the 7Up.
When she turned her back, Scott gave me a shot. I took it and gave him back the glass.
"Can I have a screw driver?"
"no." mom said.
"Please Mommy!"
"I said no." She said, going into Carson's room with him.
"I said, no." I said, pouring orange juice into a tall cup.
"Can I have that?"
"I think you should slow down." Scott said.,
"oh just give it to me." I said, taking the bottle.
I took a drink.
"Gah." i said, sticking my tongue out.
"Too much?" Vic asked.
"Not enough." i said, pouring more in.
"Whoa, Andy watch it, there's supposed to be more orange juice than vodka." Scott said, taking the bottle.
"It'll do." i said, taking a drink.
Once I Drank it all, it hit me hard. I sat out side on the porch welcoming the cool air. The door opened and Ricky came out in black Pj bottoms and A white T-shirt.
"Your drunk." he said, sounding defeated.
"yeah. I feel good." I said lying back.
"What about tomorrow?"
"Not now Ricky." I said, waving at him.
"Your going to pass out." Her said, bending down.
"Don't." I begged, as he trying to help me up.
He sat on his knees by my head.
"You said, to get over my fear I have to face it."
"Yes."
"K kiss me."
"I didn't mean with me, I meant with a boyfriend."
"But I feel safe with you, Ricky Please-"
He pressed his lips to mine, and then everything went dark.
*******
When I woke up i was fully clothed still wearing my Toms. I looked around. Ricky's room. I let my head fall onto the pillow and let out something between a cry for help and a deep breath. I kicked off my shoes. I got up and went out to the living room.
"Andy!"
"Jake!" i yelled, running into his open arms.
He hugged me tight. When we pulled apart I saw Alice sitting on the recliner. Oh come on Jake!
"Hey Andy!"
"hi." i hugged her.
I looked around and saw Ricky sitting in the middle of the Love seat. Before I took a step he already was picking up the blanket. I sat down, and he pulled my legs onto his lap. He covered us with the blanket, making sure My hands and feet where free.
"I really hate being nice to someone I want to throw a brick at."
Ricky laughed and Kissed My head.
"Aw! That's so cute!" Alice said.
"They're not dating." Mom said.
"What? Andy come on you never have a boyfriend."
"Cause I don't want one."
"Do you love Ricky?" Mom asked.
"It's there." I said.
"Where's there?" Alice asked.
"Where ever love comes from."
"Love come's from the heart." Mom said.
"No it doesn't. I mean think about it. When someone leaves, it's not just your heart that hurts. It's your mind and Soul too, so love has to come from some where with in."
"And that's why I go to her, for help."
I smiled, back at Jake.
"What about you Ricky?"
"I love her." He said.
"See! Aw!" Alice, said, looking at my Mom.
I Played with one of his rings.
"It would be so cute if they dated, we could all go on a couples night." Alice said.
"Hold your hand up."
Ricky put his hand up, and i put my palm to his.
"You have big hands." I said.
He laughed,
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