Broken, Vic Johnson [free ebook reader for pc .TXT] 📗

said looking out at the sea.

‘I have been trying to get back to the guy I was when I stood here and declared my love for you. He seems so far away at the moment’

‘If you hadn’t have left me I could have helped you find him. I miss him’ she looked at me with tears in her eyes.

‘I really want to kiss you’

She turned away.

I sighed. ‘I’m sorry that wasn’t fair’

‘Why didn’t you text me or anything?’ she sounded mad now.

‘I didn’t think you would want me to after the way we left it’

‘I thought you just needed a few days to be back in the real world and you would come back to me’

‘I wanted to. I drove past your house about five times a day but I couldn’t bring myself to come in’

‘But why?’

‘You deserve better than me Beth. I am a complete mess’

‘And you think I’m not?’ she was getting angry ‘what happened to me is just one thing on a very long list of why my life is shit. The only thing I had was you’

‘Brooke said you were going to tell me you loved me too’

She sighed again and looked back out to sea ‘It doesn’t matter now’

‘Of course it matters. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to say those words?’

‘Well I’m not going to say them now. You broke my heart’

‘Yeah I know’ we were both quiet for a few minutes ‘I broke my own too’ she turned her head to look at me.

‘Why did you do it? If it was gonna hurt this much then why?’ tears filled her eyes again.

‘That place they sent me to was horrible’ I lay back in the sand. I couldn’t bear to see her upset. ‘Some of the guys in there knew me. The called me superstar. Turns out I beat one of them at football last year and the paper called me an up and coming superstar. When they beat me the second time they were shouting ‘not a superstar anymore are you?’ and they made me throw a makeshift ball over and over again until I couldn’t lift my arm anymore’ I sat back up.

‘You didn’t have any bruises’ she said

I pull up my t-shirt and show her the light purple marks up my side ‘they were a lot worse before obviously’

‘They beat you twice?’

‘Three actually. Well two and a half. They guard saw them the third time’

‘You were only there 6 days’

‘They really didn’t like me’ I half smiled and she looked back out to sea.

‘Do you remember me telling you that I was sent to a correctional place once?’

‘Yeah after your dad died’ I had forgotten about that.

‘I got pretty badly beaten once in there. I went in with a bad attitude and the head girl said if I didn’t calm down she was gonna knock the attitude out of me but I didn’t listen. One day I said something I shouldn’t and whack straight on the nose. Now I can look after myself as you have seen but she was a beast. I had no chance. I woke up in the hospital wing the next day’ she looked back at me ‘I would have understood’

‘I was ashamed. They beat me and belittled me and humiliated me. I couldn’t face everyone telling me how good I had done in saving you so I just wanted everyone to leave me alone’

‘Even me?’ she said her eyes pleading with me.

‘When I got to the hospital I had no intention of breaking up with you. In fact I couldn’t wait to see you but when I did see you in that hospital bed I couldn’t handle it and I bailed’ I lay back down. This time she did the same. ‘My mum said we are not meant to be today’ I said turning my head to look at her ‘what do you think?’

‘Honestly?’ I nodded. ‘I think she has a point. We fell apart at the first sign of trouble. If you would have just told me what happened I would have given you the space you needed. We didn’t have to break up’

‘I know how badly I handled it but I came straight from there to you and I didn’t have time to process anything’ she sat back up. I did too. ‘I know how badly I handled it Beth and I regret it every day. Do you think you can forgive me?’

She moved closer and put her head on my shoulder. That was a good sign. ‘I guess we will see’ she was quiet for a while then said ‘we have to take it really slow this time. I need to trust you again. And I’m not your girlfriend. Not yet anyway ok?’

‘Yeah that’s great it’s more than I expected’

‘It’s more than you deserve but I need you’

‘I’ll take what I can get. I still love you’

‘Good’

 

We sat there for a long time talking and it felt good. I had missed it but I didn’t realise how much.

She told me she had to keep the boot on for a month and had about the same time left with the pot. She would have to do physical therapy for both but Max was going to help her.

‘He can help you too’ she said.

‘I don’t think he likes me very much right now’ I sighed. ‘I really wanted him to like me, right from the start I wanted his approval and I let him down’

‘You just have to earn his trust back just like with me’ she held my hand ‘he really likes you. That’s why he is so mad’

‘I let everyone down’

‘You had some issues and you had to deal with them your own way. Don’t beat yourself up about it’ she shivered.

‘Are you cold?’

‘I’m starting to get cold yeah’

‘I’ll take you home’ I stood up and brushed the sand off myself. I helped Beth up and picked up the blanket giving it a shake. I picked her up and carried her to the car.

When we set off she said ‘don’t take me home yet. Let’s go to yours and watch a film’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah I kinda don’t want this night to end’

‘Really? Me neither’

‘You sound surprised’

‘I guess I thought you wouldn’t want to be around me for a long time’

‘This is the only time I am going to say this ok?’ I nodded ‘you make me happy. I didn’t think I ever would be happy again. I was broken and you started to fix me and I liked that. But then you broke me again and I didn’t think I could get over that but then sitting here with you all night just felt so good and normal’

We drove for a little while in silence.

‘Do you remember when we got together?’ she says

‘After Charlie’s party?’ I say.

‘No’ she said laughing ‘not the first time we had sex. When we became official’

‘Oh after Brooke got drunk yeah of course I remember’

‘I told you I was scared because I didn’t want to get hurt again. I didn’t think I could handle it. Turns out I was right. I couldn’t handle it. You think you’re a mess? This is going to be hard Jackson. It’s going to be really tough. People are not going to want us together even more than before. I am probably going to be a bitch sometimes but I hope what were left with is just two people who are happy together no matter what. We are going to have to work hard at it but while we were apart and I hated you for hurting me my feelings for you never changed. So I’m willing to work for it if you are’

‘Of course I am’ I feel like I could fly. She was forgiving me.

‘You can’t leave me again’ she said looking at me. ‘if you think there is any chance that you might then take me home, but if you want to work on it then take me to yours’

Twenty minutes later we pulled up at my house. I helped her in the house and sat her on a stool in the kitchen while I went to the bathroom and got some DVDs from the bedroom. When I got back downstairs I could hear her talking to my mum. This was the second time today I had listened at this door.

‘What she did was wrong and she can’t come here and just expect me to forgive her. She put my son in jail’ my mum was saying.

‘I don’t know what happened before I came here but she just doesn’t like him. All the good stuff that happened between him and me and then what he did at that party. I mean he can say he didn’t do anything all he wants but he saved me and he is my hero. But Jessica just doesn’t like him. I don’t think she ever will’

‘Are you two back together?’ my mum asked.

‘No’ Beth said

‘Oh’ there was silence for a minute. ‘He loves you’

‘I know’

‘I know he hurt you’

‘That doesn’t matter now. We have put that in the past and we are focusing on the future. I want him in my future’ I get a weird feeling in my stomach.

‘Are you going to Max’s parents for Thanksgiving?’ my mum asked.

‘No actually I’m not. He asked me a month or so ago and I said no because we don’t celebrate it back home but after what happened over Halloween I have a lot to be thankful for’ I decided it was time to go in there.

‘Hey’ I said looking at them both.

‘Jack’ my mum said. ‘Why don’t you invite Beth for Thanksgiving on Thursday?’

Beth looked at me. Way to put me on the spot mum.

‘Ok, you could have asked you know’ I say laughing ‘Beth would you like to come for Thanksgiving’

‘I would love to’ she said smiling. The first real smile I think she has done since before that party.

Beth

 

I wake up feeling strange. Something doesn’t feel quite right and then I realise it is because I actually slept. I look at my clock to see the time but it’s not there. I sit up fast and look around. I calm down a little when I realise I am just in Jacksons shed.

He is asleep next to me. I nudge him a few times and he wakes up. He looks surprised to see me there.

‘Hey’ he says with a sleepy voice.

‘You better take me home. It looks like the sun is coming up’

He sits up and stretches. He takes off his t-shirt and grabs another to put on. I try not to look at his body but I can’t help it. Even with his arm in a pot he still does everything for himself. He can still drive too and he carried me about yesterday with complete ease.

He passed me my crutches and helps me up. We looked into each other’s eyes for a long time. I know he wanted to kiss me but I wasn’t ready for that yet. I kissed his cheek then started to hobble to the door. He came over and picked me up and carried me to his car.

We didn’t talk until we got to my house.

‘Shall I come back