Stuck and Stoned, Millie Annaliece [best autobiographies to read txt] 📗

"Nothing." 

"Do you need any help?" I asked. 

"No," she said dismissively. 

"Do you know where my wallet is?" 

"What's it look like?" 

"It's my purple alligator skin wallet." 

"Oh it's over there on that table." She pointed. 

"Thanks." I needed caffeine. I was intending to buy a coke except that I had absolutely no money. 

I ran over to Stone from habit. "Hey Stone?" I asked. He always had a dollar or two. 

"What?" he said rudely. I cringed. 

"Do you have a dollar?" I asked. I blushed cuz my voice sounded whiny. Then I realized I was asking my VERY RECENT ex for money. I immediately felt guilty. 

"No, why?" he said. 

"I wanted a coke is all." 

"Oh." He turned back to Melony and Jonathan's brother who'd come to help with the paper. 

"Is there not any money in your bra?" Melony joked. 

"Good idea," I laughed. Then I felt Stone's eyes looking at me like I was insane. But it WAS a good idea, and I wanted caffeine really bad. It had never stopped me before from checking for money. So why should it stop me now just because Stone was there? Indeed I had some money. Melony and I laughed and Stone rolled his eyes. "He's a guy Mel. He don't get it." I said teasingly.

"I know right?" She joked. 

By the time I bought a Sprite and came back Stone had left. I ran up to the stage where Bodhi was. I sat next to him on the stairs. Turns out we were all taking a break. "So why was 'he' here?" he sneered. 

"I don't know. He's not in choir." I answered. 

"Well I kind of ran him off. He didn't belong in here."

"Ms. Hally said he could help."

"Why would he though?" Bodhi asked. 

"I don't know," I answered blinking away tears. Bodhi got a drink from my Sprite. "Hey!" I yelled. I reached for it. He held his hand out so I couldn't get it. I laughed. "Fine. Get you some." 

He took a huge drink. "Thank you," he said handing it back. We talked back and forth casually, sharing Sprite and the pizza Ms. hally ordered for everyone. 

"Can I tell you something?" I asked. 

He looked at me. Really looked at me and said "Yeah." 

"I think Stone is trying to get with Kendra. He's flirting with her and stuff and I don't think she even realizes it." 

He thought for a minute and said "Okay". No hidden meaning. Just okay I was listening but I have no response.

After we ate, I helped Christian, Jonathan's brother, paper a wall. It took forever and it was very crooked. I laughed at us. "We're two very screwed up screwballs." I said hitting him on the arm. 

He looked at me funny. 

"Do you think Jonathan can fix it?" I asked. 

"No," he laughed. 

I decided to work on something else until I got someone to help fix it. 

I'd all but forgotten about the screwball wall until I heard a familar voice say "How the HELL do you mess up that bad?" I turned around to see Bodhi shaking his head. I laughed and walked over beside him. 

"This is my screwball wall." I said. "I don't get along with ladders. And I was working with Christian." He was in hearing range so it was okay to tease him. Bodhi laughed at me. I blushed. "Can you help me fix it?" I begged. 

"Yeah," he said. 

We argued about hte best way to fix it but his way won out. I got Jonathan to help. Bodhi ripped a piece of tape off the roll with his mouth and taped the paper lower down. He spit a piece out and it landed on my collar bone. 

"Hey!" I teased. I tried to get it, but it fell down my shirt. "Hey!" I yelped. "You got a piece of tape down my shirt!" He laughed. As I got it unstuck off my bra, Jonathan said something out of my earshot that made Bodhi laugh. Again. I loved his laugh. It was intoxicating. When I stood back up, Bodhi stuck a piece in my hair. "Ow!" I yelped again. "Get it out you asshole!" He was laughing at me. He got the tape out but messed up my chignon in the process. "You messed up my hair! Fix it!" I demanded. "Bodhi!" He acted like he was going to put more tape in my hair. I screamed and ducked my head. He pulled my hair back into a ponytail like I said. I got the tape away from him and Jonathan took it from me. He taped a HUGE piece across Bodhi's hair. 

I laughed. "Not fair," Bodhi said. I carefully got it off, trying my hardest not to pull his hair. I was tempted, oh so tempted, to see if his curls bounced but I didn't. 

Suddenly Jonathan asked "What's on your back?" I stopped, confused. 

"What?" 

"It's like scratches." Jonathan answered. I froze. Bodhi eyed me suspicously. He'd noticed the blood drain from my face and me tense up. I totally forgot about Jonathan. "Oh my god," I breathed. 

"Why don't I take a picture and show you?" Jonathan asked. 

Time was frozen. How could I be such an idiot that I'd forgotten about the scratches? I looked to Bodhi desperately gambling with the gods for his silence. I'm not a good gambler because Bodhi did not stay silent. Anger flashed in his face and he asked Jonathan to go ahead and show me the picture. I cried out and grabbed Bodhi's arm for support. So many things ran through my mind, and I was getting claustrophobic. I looked at his face and before he could speak I fled. I sat on the bench in the lobby, and forced myself to calm down. This was bad. This was really really bad. Madrigal practice had another two hours. I sat calmly until Bodhi joined me at a slow time of decorating. "So what really happened?" he asked inviting me to scoot closer. I moved the other direction. 

"Nothing, it's not a big deal." 

He studied me, not believing me for a minute. His green eyes flashed darkly with anger. My chest ached seeing his sincerity. I cleared my throat. "Stone was upset at me. And well, he didn't mean to." 

"Really Elizabeth?" he exclaimed. "Why?!" 

"Why what?" 

"Why don't you do something?" 

"Cuz I can't! Why do you care?" 

"You're my friend. Why wouldn't I?" 

"But why!" My voice was growing shrill. 

"I care about you, you're a good person." 

"No. No I'm not." I stated. 

"You are my friend Elizabeth."

We sat in silence. "Bodhi?" I finally whispered. 

"Yeah?" he said. 

"You're too good to me. Why?" 

"Like I said, you're my friend."

"There's two kinds of friends," I answered. "There's the kind that are good just because they are, and there's the kind that want something in return." 

He looked at me shocked. "I don't want anything." 

"Which one are you?" I asked.

"I don't want ANY thing from you. You're just my friend." 

"Why?!" I began to cry. Bodhi gave me an awkward hug, and said "I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow." As he left, his cologne lingered around me making my head spin. 

 

Enchantment of Hate

Madrigal happened with few incidents. Me and Bodhi didn't get a chance to talk again. I cried myself to sleep Sunday night, knowing I'd have to face Stone the next day. There was only this week and three more days until school let out for Christmas break.

It turns out I was able to drown out almost everything all through those two weeks and most of break. I began having horrid nightmares again, and I'd wake up screaming and crying and choking. And it was all Stone's fault. I swore to my friend Lisa I'd kill his ass. It wasn't long until I was almost delirious. Stone had somehow cast his spell over me again; it couldn't just be my stupid self coming up with these ludicrous ideas. 

My mind has transformed into a trance since the breakup. I wasn't so sure I was sane anymore. Could it be that I had tripped up my life by laying my head on him on that stupid bus on that forgotten trip? No, it had to be him. He'd cast a fucking spell with that bloody poem. It wasn't fair that Stone could drive this knife through my heart and go on like nothing was wrong. My life had come to a shocking halt, while he'd moved on like I was nothing. I was trapped; he was free. It simply wasn't fair.

My head began to spin with the crazy notions that were flying around me, choking me, tightening their grip until I was absolutely drained. 

Lyrics began to run through the choked atmosphere around me: 

"Well Baby I have done my duty. You completely trust me. And it is now my duty to completely drain you. I don't care what you think. Take the poison apple. It isn't me. I got free. . ."

Is that a Nirvana song? Nirvana sings stuff like that. Nirvana- an idea of peace and harmony just out of reach of fools like me. Onnly geniuses achieve true Nirvana and only by the escape of the drama of acceptable society. So Nirvana was this swirl of delirium I couldn't achieve, I could only taste. A bittersweet piercing taste. Just one chance and I'd been hooked by the absolute freedom of the unattainable. 

I'm certain I'm losing my mind now- speaking of insane shit like Nirvana and tasting Nirvana. I can imagine Stone's Nirvana and it was the exact thing that made me catty and jealous. I pondered over the ways to crash his nirvana- foolish me, silly girl. No wonder Bodhi called me catty. 

Bodhi! Was that it? That was it! It was Bodhi's fault. I trusted Bodhi and Stone got upset and that's what happened. That makes sense. But Stone trusted Kendra, so that wasn't fair. She's my best friend and she liked him back. Oh, I was insane. 

But I knew. I knew! A nirvana of Stone's I could crush by my own hand. Was I crazy? Absolutely. Could I get hurt? Almost certainly. Was it worth it? How would I know in this insanity I was trapped in? Besides it was Stone's fault. He did it, not me. If he got hurt, it was by his own hand rightfully. Because he hurt me, if he was hurt by me, he hurt himself naturally. That makes me feel better. 

Whispers of Nirvana's music slipped through my mind as insanity turned to pure cattiness. I knew come Monday I'd break Stone's enchantment of hate with a spell all my own. Dodhi would kill me. Cody would kill me. Kendra would. Leah would. Eva would. Hell! I would. 

What about Abby? I wondered. THat was Cody's lover and quickly becoming a confident for me. She was gorgeous, way more than even Mariska. And more than her looks. She was so self assured and her opinions, no matter how brash, were worth listening to. 

I wonder what she'd say. "You are a whore!" she'd laugh. I'd argue but she'd cut me off and say "Elizabeth," with her mother hen voice. I'd reluctantly nod and attempt to change the subject. I knew how that would play out. But disapproval? I don't think quite. Just statements and laughs. 

"Damn you, Stone!" I called into the night air. I imagined seductive gorgeous sirens singing their alluring song, drawing Stone closer and closer before revealing the hideous creatures they