Parent With Purpose, Tiffany Mitchell [ebook reader with built in dictionary .TXT] 📗

child.  Teachers, coaches and mentors who regularly dedicate their time to activities with your kids tend to have a lot to offer. They have dealt with an array of challenges over the years and can really be a useful resource in helping you. Inform these important individuals of areas where you may need assistance. They may even be able to help your child develop confidence, or assist with social issues. There may be some tactics that they can incorporate in their routines that can offer some help to your child. Communicate your intentions and see what they suggest. If your child is receiving the same message in every environment they are placed in they will eventually adapt those beliefs.

 

If there is an issue that goes beyond what you or their mentors can do and you need a professional that is ok too. Some children may need individual counseling, tutoring or healthcare professionals to help with behavior, trouble with learning or with emotions. This does not in any way mean that you have failed as a parent or what you are doing isn’t working. It just means that your child may need a little more assistance. You have done a great job and sometimes part of be a parent is accepting that you need some help.

Despite the avenue you choose to gain assistance from develop a really healthy relationship with your children’s school and teachers. Children spend the majority of their week in school and you want need to be involved with the staff as much as possible. It is sometimes hard especially working moms to be on the PTA or to attend all daytime events but that doesn’t mean you cannot have a great relationship with the teachers. 

Make sure that at the beginning of the school year that you establish a good rapport with the teacher. Introduce yourself on the first day either in person or through note. Express your willingness to work together with them in an effort to have a successful year. Offer them various ways to contact you so that you can find a mode of communication that works best for the both of you. Check in often on your child’s performance and ask if there is anything at home that you could be doing to assist in the academic success of your child. Share some things with them that you do at home and their teacher may be able to include those things in their classroom.

            In addition you can also check and see if the school as a website that you can keep track of important events. Also have a good idea of how the classroom works. Be aware of the routine of the class, when they have gym, art, or computer classes. How is the homework assigned each night and what days are testing days. This will help you stay more in the know of what your child is up to during the day.  It will also assist in developing good communication with your child.  You can say hey its Thursday you had gym today what did you play. Your child will be happy that you have an interest in their day and it will offer you more opportunity for conversation.

 

Create a good team around your children so that they are always safe and surrounded by a group of positive people that can help them get through the many stages of their growth. Success in carrying out that vision is the only option.  Get the support you need to do that effectively.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 5- Remove Your Ego

 

Throughout this book I have mentioned several times that the ego is not needed in parenting. I truly believe that this is a blockage that will hinder the success of what you are trying to accomplish as a parent. You may be taller, older and more experienced but do not take your position for granted. You are here to protect and guide them but that does not mean that you have all the answers. Remember that you are just a consultant to their minds but in the end they have their own lives to live. They have their own purpose and their own set of lessons they must learn. Also keep in mind that you can learn just as much from them as they can learn from you.

 

You must keep a close eye on who they really are. Allow them to show you through their own personality. Become involved in their interests and try and understand why they are so drawn to them. Embrace the little parts of who they are that make them individuals. You must really take the time to understand that although the come from you they are separate from you. Be involved in their lives without swaying their beliefs. Hear them out. They have majestic minds that understand and believe in ideas and they see life in very special way.

 

Your experiences have molded you and as a result you have become more wise and able to share your lessons. Also understand that through your experiences and growth you may have detached from your own belief in miracles. Children have a way of believing in the impossible. They are only curbed by the rules we set for them. They go against the grain often and tend to test out these rules. We have to remember to do the same. Our children are here to remind us of this. I’m not saying that we should be reckless in our decision making but we do need to live a little more fearlessly. We do need to test our limits. We have to believe in the impossible. When we take our ego out of parenting we set free our belief in our own superiority and allow our beliefs to expand. Making us better more fulfilled people. We then in return can become greater demonstrators to our children. It’s a beautiful exchange of continues learning, growing and living life brilliantly.

 

When we take the ego out of parenting we also develop a better connection to our children. The relationship becomes stronger and grows throughout the years. We relinquish the fear that they may have to talk and interact with us. For us we become more open to their world and develop a new understanding of life. We must not choose fear to be teaching tool nor a motivator.

 

Removing our ego also invites us with the opportunity to allow them to take the reins in their own life. Tight grips usually suffocate relationships and people. The ego keeps us attached to our own way of thinking out of fear that they will get it wrong. The ego feeds our own belief that we ourselves can see their lives clearer then they can see their own.

 

Throughout your years of parenting you will be undergoing a multitude of changes in your relationships as well as a lot of lessons. The hardest one of all is letting go.  These are your babies your precious little angles that you watched grow over the years and you want to protect, love and keep them as close as possible forever but that is just not what they need and you have to be prepared to learn that.

 

As they get older you will grow through a lot of little milestones that can at times be difficult some a lot more for you then for them. There first day at preschool or daycare is a moment that most parents have a really difficult time with. It doesn’t matter how great the school is, or how much you have prepared them. The thought of leaving them alone without your supervision and guidance is one of the hardest things. As they get older those moments get bigger from their first sleepover at friend’s house to spending a weekend with grandma away from home. It seems like there is always a new hump to get over. One of the biggest ones is  sending them off to college which is bitter sweet. You are overjoyed with their accomplishment and yet sad that they are making a transition into adulthood.

 

 Remember that you are and have been an amazing parent. Letting them experience these milestones is proof that you are doing your job. They will be ok because you prepared them for everything. You had a vision, you stuck with it and they have a lifetime of lessons that will carry them through the next phase of their lives. Most importantly you established such a great level of communication over the years that they now can call and talk to you knowing and trusting in your advice.

 

Understand that there are several points in their life where you are going to have to adjust your relationship . You have to accept that you will go from being their everything to just their admirer and supporter. There are times where you are going to have to stand back and allow them to live, and experience life for themselves. It may not always be easy but it is necessary.  If you have removed your ego then this process will be a lot easier for the both of you. You will have the opportunity to truly enjoy your journey together.

A letter to my boys...

My dearest loves,

 

I love you. It is truly an honor and a privilege to be your mother. You are my greatest gifts. You are my greatest blessings. There are a number of things I learned from being your mother. I can only hope that I have made a positive impact on your life because you have certainly done so for me. I hope that as you grow more into yourselves that you will look at me as a valuable contribution to your becoming. You have made me a better woman, friend and daughter. It is through you that I see how great life can be. You guys are so AMAZING!!

 

The most important lesson I’ve learned is that you were here to teach me more then I was here to teach you. With every relationship there is an exchange of experience and knowing. Awareness brings this out. I had to stop and really pay attention so that I did not miss out on the greatest part of being your mom, my ticket to my undiscovered life. I realize that I had gotten so caught up in the way this world works that I’d forgotten about the deeper parts of myself. You were put here to remind me of what’s important. I used to think that because I was