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chapter one


The word goodbye stings my heart and soul.Why did he have to leave me without a word? I still love him but he broke off my love and threw it all away.I gave him everything! but he left without why he didn't love me.So I hate him for not loving me I hate him for every tear he made me shed I hate him for faking our love and worst of all I hate myself for hating him.

Our use to be love all started all last mouth


"Come on Katie!" he laugh while I tried my hardest to run as fast as I can."I'm to slow" I laugh then trip over something and fell and scrap my kneed."Katie!" Ricky yelled and ran over to me."are you ok babe" he said and whip away my fallen tears "I am now" I smile and he return one of his famous Ricky smile's that any girl would drop dead for.Then he kiss my nose "love you" I smile brightly "Love you to" "Let's get something to eat" "Ok" I agree.He help me back up.Every time he touch me butterfly's come in my stomach it felt like electric but it was coming from my heart."Are you coming" "yes" I said and walk a little faster to catch up to him.He twirled his fingers with my.I look at him and he was looking at me both of in love like there was no tomorrow.


"where do yo want to eat?" I ask and look ahead to see any good places."Well I feeling some McDonald's you?" I look at him and shook my head."Great!" he beam with happiness.I laugh we both walk in McDonald's the warm hot Greece smell hit my nose but it smell so good.My stomach rumble meaning I'm starving."looks like somebody hungry"Ricky said and poke my tummy.I look down and blush.He let out a laugh "come on" I look back up and meant his warm kind green eyes.We both went up to the cashier he look board but when I came up his eyes travel my body.Ricky clear his throat and the guy snap out of his trance.


He smile weakly at Ricky and spoke "Hi how may I help you" "uh yes I'll like a medium fries and a big mack" then Ricky look at me "what do you want?" "uhh I'll will like a small fries and a big mack with a large coke" I smile still looking at Ricky with full of love."Ok then here" The guy said and handed Ricky the reset."Thanks" Ricky mumble at the guy.


~Back to the present~

"UH HOW CAN I BE SO STUPID TO FALL IN LOVE" I scream in my pillow but it really sounded like mmmmm mmmm mmmmmm!!! because my face was shove in the feather pillow.Maybe if I keep my face in the pillow I can end all my pain 10,13,18.... I yank my head out of the pillow and took deed breaths.I got up and went to my mirror and stare at myself.My blue eyes had no sigh of happiness my sun kiss tan skin now pale.My red lips a light shad of pink and my long blonde hair is just a dusty light yellow."How can this happen to me" I whisper and touch the cold glass.I look around my room remembering the good times we had in it.


~past~

"I love you" he whisper and stroke my hair."Love you to" I whisper and play with his raven black hair.We both laded in by bed cuddling each other with love and never leading go of each other."Promise you'll be mine" he whisper in my ear his warm breath sending chills down my back.I look up in his eyes the twinkle with hope and love.I smile brightly "promise"


~present~

I let out a deep breath and left my room trying to leave the memories behind.I walk yo the cvs and went to the girl department and grab black hair dye.I went to the front desk and paid for it and ran out of the store."I need a new me" I mumble then i slam open my door tripling over my to feet as I ran.I crawl to the bathroom and I push both of my hands up from the sink.I look at my reflected and I look broken which I am.I open the little black hair dye box.And poured the black stuff all over my hair it felt wrong and very cold.But at the same time it felt right.

I took out my hair drier and blast it on full breeze the hot air blowing agents my head and blowing my hair everywhere.And once I was done I felt almost knew but not fully.I put on a sad force smile.But it felt like their where nails trying to hold my frown.I let out a sighed and slump and went in my room and feel on the floor and curl up in a ball and started to cry and shake."Why did you have to say -swallow- goodbye" I sob in the fuzzy carpet.After a while I stood back up and rub my red puffy eyes that burn with tears.

~past~

"Hey Ricky" "yea" he ask and still pushing me and the swing."do you love me" then he fell silent "Ricky?" I ask and shifted my weight to look at him.He just stood their staring blankly at me."Ric- "with all my heart" he smile but his smile was force but I just let it go and smile to "Ok" then turn around and felt the wind blow on my face.

~present~


"Ha! love? ya ok" I laugh and stare at his picture of me and him.My leg was wrap around him both of us smiling and laughing.


~past~


"You won!" I cheer and laugh "which one you want babe" he smile I look at the prizes and pick the white fuzzy bear with a green nose and a green bow tie."Ok here you are my laddie" the fat far guy smile and handed me the soft bear.I bared my face in it and smile look back up at Ricky and he was looking at the empty black soulless night sky."ricky?" I ask and put my hand on his cheek he look down and smile."Yes babe?" "are you alright?" "uh yea just fine" he mummer and look away.


~Present~

I held on the picture tight tears sting my vision "Why did you have to leave" I whisper and then took out the picture from the picture frame "I-I need to forget" I sluttier and the words sting my mouth as they fell out.I rip the picture up into pieces and once i was done i let the pieces fall out of my hands and fell to the hard floor.then I took a shaky breath and a small smile appear on my face.I left my room without an word and sat on my couch then I memorizing one last thing.

~Past~

I walk home room school the cold winter wind blowing around me as I smile brightly not caring if I freez.I went to my door of my house and open it.I sat my backpack down by the door and went to the kitchen but on my dinner table their was a note.I went over probaly thinking it was a love note but I was wrong.To Katie from Ricky goodbye~

and that was all it only said g-goodbye the posin word for me."Why did you have to leave" I whisper and held my hands to my face and cry then I felt a strong hand go on my sholder "Its never goodbye" he whisper.Ricky.I turn around to face him his grren eyes had no life full of sorrow "please be mine again" he whisper his voice breaking I look at him and smile I lead in for a kiss but stop inches apart then open my lips to speak and as I spoke the right words came out and they were "go burn in hell"


~The End~


Imprint

Text: everything belongs to me but the cover.Please do not stell it mean and if you steal my book i will find you and...TAKE AWAY YOUR COOKIES >:(
Images: google
Editing: mr.MOO MOO
Translation: FOOD!
Publication Date: 08-28-2012

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
To my best friend she got me throw a lot a own her my life

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