Shades of Love, hima [tools of titans ebook txt] 📗

Prologue:

“Nikki…” I heard a familiar voice calling.

My heart raced, he is back as he promised. I ran in the direction of voice, the voice grew more urgent. I could see him hidden well in the shadows. I reached out to him.

“Nikki…”his voice quivered.

I entwined my hands into his; he gazed at me with his beautiful blue eyes. I felt like melting away in his warm and cozy arms.

“Love you…” he whispered into my ears.

The word ‘you’ is lost in the wind, his hands that I caught slowly melted into the wind. His features slowly disappeared allowing me a fleeting glimpse at his beautiful blue eyes. I frantically tried catching the dissolving part of his hands but that felt like catching sand that is escaping through your finger gaps. I broke down cursing my fate for not taking me away with him.

“You pretended that you’ll never leave me.” I cried hoping that he would hear me wherever he is now.


I opened my eyes and everything seemed to be a blur, I couldn’t see anything clearly, I raised my hands to rub my eyes and clear my vision but that hurt a lot and something needle like pricked my skin when I did that.

“Ethan…” I whispered.

I felt someone hushing me and gently massaging my forehead. I blinked away the tears that came from the throbbing pain all over my body. Everything is white may be I’m in heaven. I squinted in every direction and saw two familiar figures mom and dad. How did they come here? I’m sure we are the only one’s dead; me and Ethan. That name brought a panic attack to my heart. I hyper ventilated at the very memory of him. I can die but not him… I shrieked. I was blanked out when a sharp needle hit my skin.

“Ethan…” I cried into the space.

“Please take me with you. I don’t want to be here without you.” I sobbed.

I fell onto the ground curling myself into ball, the white, spotless sky showed no mercy; it didn’t stop to show me my Ethan.

“Nikki…” I heard Mom calling in muffled sobs.

“Nikki… Find the will to live.” I heard an unknown voice.

She doesn’t want to live she isn’t responding to our treatment. I heard him say and then a cry burst out from Mom’s lips. It’s like I’m hanging onto a tiny thread between life and death. One side I can hear mom and dad and another side white vacuum where I might meet Ethan. I took two steps tentatively towards the white sky crying for Ethan and collapsed as I used very last ounce of my strength.

“Nikki…” I felt someone tug me.

“Hmmm….” I mumbled.

“You must live, there is a lot much you have to do on earth. Be brave to face the new world that I’m sending you into. You’ll find love again.” I heard him say.

I felt a wet kiss planted on my cheeks and then all of a sudden I could hear huge gasps escaping through my lips as I tried to inhale.

“I don’t think she’ll get through this.” I heard the same voice saying.

“Mr. Rupert, I want you all to leave, she is suffocating.” Another strange and melodic voice said.

A few moments later, I heard him say.

“Do this for your brother.”

I felt someone grazing my neck and then a piercing pain ran through my body. My body convulsed, every nerve in my body throbbed, my heart constricted at the pain, every organ in my body slowly going numb until my heart reduced into a faint beat and nothing at all, I could feel someone holding me and whispering into my ears.

“Please do it for Ethan.”

I caught hold of Ethan’s memories strongly to my heart never willing them to go away. Ethan smile, face, eyes and every second I spent with him until the terrible accident that took him away from me.


“How are you feeling?” I heard sweet motherly voice whisper.

I struggled to open my eyes, they felt very heavy. I relaxed for a little while and then slowly made an effort to open them. I saw three unknown faces hovering over me as my eyes grew focused their smiles grew wider. I didn’t know them from my past; I doubt that I ever saw such godly faces.

An elderly man of mid 30’s hurried to my side, he checked my vitals.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

I knew this voice from the hospital, so he must be a doctor and I’m in a hospital. I checked my surroundings; it’s more like a house rather than a hospital. Well lit room, soft bed, two arm chairs, a small TV, totally well decorated.

“Where am I?” my voice was barely a whisper.

“You are home, honey. Get some rest.” The motherly figure requested.

She gave some liquid as my stomach rumbled. As she set the glass down, another cute looking boy helped me to fall back into the bed. Instantly my eyes closed and I went into my cozy state where I can dream of Ethan.

“Ethan…” I cried into the white sky but he didn’t appear as he did the last time.

I sank down on to the floor waiting for him. I closed my eyes praying to see him one last time. When I opened Ethan was staring at me with his beautiful blue eyes.

“Ethan…” I cried hugging him.

“Nikki…” he said rubbing my back as I sobbed into him.

“I have a favor to ask.” He mumbled.

“Anything you wish for.” My voice squeaked.

“Please, let me go. I want you to live your life without wasting it on me.”

How could he say that? I’m not wasting my life; doesn’t he know how precious he is to me? I stared blankly at him. His face is stern; I know that he is trying to hide his sorrow.

“Please take me away with you. I don’t even know why I’m living without you.” I cried clutching my face in hands, shaking my head.

“Please….” He begged me.

Two tiny tears dropped through his perfect face. It made me cry even more; he is hurt because of me. He drew me close, one arm wrapped around me and another wiping away my tears.

“I promise that I’ll come one day for you.” He said holding up my chin with his finger so that he would look straight in my eyes.

“I don’t want you to sit waiting for that day, enjoy every movement on earth; you know my happiness lies in yours.”

I was planning to do the same as he said; sit and wait for my death.

“Promise me that you’ll at least try to be the girl I loved.”

I nodded tears streaming, this almost sounded like a goodbye and I don’t want it to happen just yet. I sat in his laps, wrapped my arms around his waist and hid my head in his neck. It didn’t smell like it always was, in fact it didn’t smell anything which brought me more tears, I’m losing him, I wailed.

He sat pressing his head against deep brown curly hair singing my favorite tune; He pressed his lips on my fore head as I shifted in his laps sleepily.

“Time to go. Be safe, darling.” he kissed me once more.

He put me down on the white floor; He slowly eased away my fingers that held his collar. He stared at me for a while as I curled myself into a ball. He walked away with heavy heart glancing over his shoulders with each step.

As he walked closer to the white light that is pouring from sky, his whole form began to shimmer and soon he became one in the white light.


I woke up startled. The reminiscent of the dream still haunted me.

“Ethan…” I cried out loud hoping he would hear and come back for me.

“Hush… It’s going to be okay.” I heard a sweet voice and gentle hands rubbing my hands.

I saw a pair of golden brown eyes staring at me concerned. With sheer instinct I moved away from her.

“Who are you?” I asked not taking my eyes away from her.

“I’m Jane, your mother.” She said.

My mother? I tried to remember her from my previous life but I found nothing related her. In fact I don’t remember anything except Ethan. How could that be?

“I don’t remember anything.” I frowned.

I tried hard to remember but that only gave me headache. I caught my head in hands.

“It’s okay, darling. Your memories will be back soon.” She whispered.

Her affection and they way she treated me, assured me that she is my mother.

“At last the sleeping beauty woke up, huh?” a beautiful girl about my age walked in.

I frowned at her, I don’t remember her too.

“She is your sister; Rachel.” She pointed towards the doctor and said “Dad; Carl” he pointed to a young boy whom I didn’t see “Rachel’s boyfriend; Eric.” He grunted at the mention of boy friend. Rachel enveloped her hands into his.

Mom pointed to the corner where I saw the boy who happened to be in this room last time I woke up. He gave a weak smile. I tried my best to return it but couldn’t.

“Ethan.” She said, “Your cousin.” She added.

At the mention of his name my heartfelt heavy, the only thing I remember about him is his perfect face and that I’m in love with him and I can’t live without him. Who is he? How did I meet him? What’s our relationship? I know nothing about this. Only thing meant I love him more than my life.

“He can’t be.” I thought out loud.

“What?”

“I don’t know who Ethan is? Or what he is to me? I know this I love him and he doesn’t look like him in anyway. Why can’t I remember anything? Who is this Ethan I love and why do I see him only in dreams? Why is he not here? Who is this other Ethan?” I babbled, I hid my head in pillows and cried.

Mom gently stroked my curls and whispered leaning towards me.
“Honey, you lost your memories when you met with accident.”

“What accident? When did it happen? Was Ethan with me in it? Did he die? Who is he?”

“It’s better to forget those bitter memories and it wouldn’t do any good if you keep thinking about them.”
Days passed by as I tried in vain to recollect the memories, Ethan frequented my dreams much lesser. I began to feel home even though I didn’t remember not even one of them from my previous life. I could tell that I’m missing something really important; the gloom of losing something I didn’t know made me want to tear myself apart. I wanted to put an end to all the pain.

“Nikki, just get out of the bed. You have been too long in there.”