The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, vol 15, Sir Richard Francis Burton [ereader that reads to you .txt] 📗

when it was the next night and that was The Seven Hundred and Fifty-fourth Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that while the man was singing the praises of his spouse one of those present rose and said to him, “Wall�hi, thou liest, O certain person!”

“Wherein do I lie?” quoth he, and quoth the other, “I will teach thee and show thee manifestly whether thy wife be a lady or a whore. Do thou rise up from amongst us and hie thee home and go thou in to her and say, �O woman, I am intent upon travelling to a certain place and being absent for a matter of four days and after will return; so do thou arise, O woman, and bring me some bread and a mould of cheese by way of viaticum.’ Then go thou forth from beside her and disappear for a while; and presently returning home hide thee in a private place without uttering a word.” Cried those present, “By Allah, indeed these words may not be blamed.” Accordingly, the man went forth from them and fared till he entered his house where he said, “O woman, bring me something of provision for a journey: my design is to travel and to be absent for a space of four days or haply six.” Cried the wife, “O my lord, thou art about to desolate me nor can I on any wise bear parting from thee; and if thou needs must journey do thou take me with thee.” Now when the man heard these the words of his wife he said to himself, “By Allah, there cannot be the fellow of my spouse amongst the sum of womankind,” presently adding to her, “I shall be away from four to six days but do thou keep watch and ward upon thyself and open not my door to anyone at all.” Quoth she, “O Man, how canst thou quit me?[FN#398] and indeed I cannot suffer such separation.” Quoth he, “I shall not long be separated from thee;” and so saying he fared forth from her and disappeared for the space of an hour, after which he returned home softly walking and hid himself in a place where none could see him. Now after the space of two hours behold, a Costermonger[FN#399] came into the house and she met him and salam’d to him and said, “What hast thou brought for me?” “Two lengths of sugar-cane,” said he, and said she, “Set them down in a corner of the room.” Then he asked her, “Whither is thy husband gone?” and she answered, “On a journey: may Allah never bring him back nor write his name among the saved and our Lord deliver me from him as soon as possible!” After this she embraced him and he embraced her and she kissed him and he kissed her and enjoyed her favours till such time as he had his will of her; after which he went his ways. When an hour had passed a Poulterer[FN#400] came to the house, whereupon she arose and salam’d to him and said, “What hast thou brought me?” He answered, “A pair of pigeon-poults;” so she cried, “Place them under yon vessel.”[FN#401] Then the man went up to the woman and he embraced her and she embraced him and he tumbled[FN#402] her and she tumbled him; after which he had his will of her and presently he went off about his own business. When two hours or so had gone by there came to her another man which was a Gardener;[FN#403] so she arose and met him with a meeting still fairer than the first two and asked him, “What hast thou brought with thee?” “A somewhat of pomegranates,” answered he; so she took them from him and led him to a secret place where she left him and changed her dress and adorned herself and perfumed herself and Kohl’d[FN#404]

her eyes. After that she returned to the pomegranate-man and fell a-toying with him and he toyed with her and she hugged him and he hugged her and at last he rogered and had his wicked will of her and went his ways. Hereupon the woman doffed her sumptuous dress and garbed herself in her everyday garment. All this and the husband was looking on through the chinks of the door behind which he was lurking and listening to whatso befel, and when all was ended he went forth softly and waited awhile and anon returned home. Hereupon the wife arose and her glance falling upon her husband she noted him and accosted him and salam’d to him and said, “Hast thou not been absent at all?” Said he, “O

Woman, there befel me a tale on the way which may not be written on any wise, save with foul water upon disks of dung,[FN#405] and indeed I have endured sore toil and travail, and had not Allah (be He praised and exalted!) saved me therefrom, I had never returned.” Quoth his wife, “What hath befallen thee?”—And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent, and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was The Seven Hundred and Fifty-fifth Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale, that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the wife asked the husband saying, “What hath befallen thee on thy way?”

And he answered, “O Woman, when I went forth the town and took the road, behold, a basilisk issued from his den and coming to the highway stretched himself therealong, so I was unable to step a single footstep; and indeed, O Woman, his length was that of yon sugar cane, brought by the Costermonger and which thou placedst in the corner. Also he had hair upon his head like the feathers of the pigeon-poults presented to thee by the Poulterer-man, and which thou hast set under the vessel; and lastly, O Woman, his head was like the pomegranates which thou tookest from the Market Gardener[FN#406] and carriedst within the house.” Whenas the wife heard these words, she lost command of herself and her right senses went wrong and she became purblind and deaf, neither seeing nor hearing, because she was certified that her spouse had sighted and eyewitnessed what she had wrought of waywardness and frowardness. Then the man continued to her, “O Whore! O Fornicatress! O Adulteress! How durst thou say to me, �There is not amongst womankind my better in nobility and purity’? and this day I have beheld with my own eyes what thy chastity may be. So do thou take thy belongings and go forth from me and be off with thyself to thine own folk.” And so saying he divorced her with the triple divorce and thrust her forth the house. Now when the Emir heard the aforetold tale from his neighbour, he rejoiced therein; this being a notable wile of the guiles of womankind which they are wont to work with men for “Verily great is their craft.”[FN#407] And presently he dismissed the fourth lover, his neighbour, even as he had freed the other three, and never again did such trouble befal him and his wife, or from Kazi or from any other.[FN#408] And to the same purport (quoth Shahrazad), to wit, the sleights and snares of the sex, they also tell the tale of

 

C�LEBS THE DROLL AND HIS WIFE AND HER

FOUR LOVERS.

 

There lived at the Court of a certain King a man wherewith he was wont to jest and this droll was unmated. So one day of the days the Sultan said to him, “O Man, thou art a bachelor, so suffer us to marry thee,” and said the buffoon, “No, O King of the Age; allow me to remain in single blessedness, for in womankind there is no rest and they work many a wile, and indeed I fear lest haply we fall upon one who shall be of the fornicatresses, the adulteresses.” Quoth the King, “There is no help but that thou wed;” and quoth the Droll, “‘Tis well, O King of the Age.”

Hereupon the Sultan sent to summon the Wazir and bade him betroth the man to a woman of righteous conduct and come of decent folk.

Now the Minister had with him an old nurse, and he commanded her to find a match for the Sultan’s Jester; whereupon she rose and went out from him and engaged for the man a beautiful woman. And presently the marriage-tie was tied between these twain and he went in unto the bride and she tarried with him a while of time even half a year or may be seven months. Now one day of the days the King’s Jester went forth his house ere the dawn-prayer had been called on some business for the Sultan, intending to return before rise of sun. Such was the case with him; but as regards his wife, she had known when yet unmarried four men who to her were the liefest of her companions and who, during the earlier days of her wedding, had not been able to possess her. However, on the morning when her husband fared forth from her before the call to dawn-prayers, each and every of these four favoured lovers made up their minds to visit their playmate. Now one of them was a Pieman[FN#409] and the second was an Herbalist[FN#410], the third was a Flesher and the fourth was the Shaykh of the Pipers[FN#411]. When the Droll went forth from his wife behold, the Pieman came and rapped at the door, whereat she opened to him and said, “Thou hast come betimes,” and said he, “I have minced the meat and I desired to work it up when I found that the hour was too early and that no one was in the market. So I said to myself, ‘Up with thee and go to Such-and-such a woman’”

“‘Tis well,” quoth she; but when they desired to make merry together, of a sudden the door was knocked; so quoth he to her, “Who is this?” and quoth she to him, “I know not, but do thou hie and hide thee in yonder closet.” He did her bidding, whereupon she went forth and threw open the door when behold, it was the Herbalist and she said to him, “This is a time betimes.” Said he, “By Allah, I was nighting in the garden and I have brought these sweet-scented herbs, and as the hour was over-early I said to myself, ‘Go thou to Such-and-such a woman and make merry, thou and she, for a wee.’” So she let him in; but hardly had he settled himself in his seat when suddenly the door was again rapped and he asked her, “Who is this?” and she answered, “I know not, but do thou hie and hide thee in yonder closet.” So he went in and found the Pieman there seated and said to him, “What thing mayest thou