Supplemental Nights to The Book of the Thousand and One Nights, Sir Richard Francis Burton [best short books to read .TXT] 📗

Quoth the duenna, “‘Tis thou that liest, and wouldst fain cast discord between the Caliph and the Lady Zubaydah.” And Masrur cried,’ “None lieth but thou, O old woman of illomen and thy lady believeth thee and she must be in her dotage.” Whereupon Lady Zubaydah cried out at him and in very sooth she was enraged with him and with his speech and shed tears. Then said the Caliph to her, “I lie and my eunuch lieth, and thou liest and thy waiting-woman lieth; so ‘tis my rede we go, all four of us together, that we may see which of us telleth the truth.” Masrur said, “Come, let us go, that I may do to this illomened old woman evil deeds[FN#76] and deal her a sound drubbing for her lying.” And the duenna answered him, “O dotard, is thy wit like unto my wit? Indeed, thy wit is as the hen’s wit.” Masrur was incensed at her words and would have laid violent hands on her, but the Lady Zubaydah pushed him away from her and said to him, “Her truth-speaking will presently be distinguished from thy truth-speaking and her leasing from thy leasing.” Then they all four arose, laying wagers one with other, and went forth a-foot from the palace-gate and hied on till they came in at the gate of the street where Abu al-Hasan al-Khali’a dwelt. He saw them and said to his wife Nuzhat al-Fuad, “Verily, all that is sticky is not a pancake[FN#77] they cook nor every time shall the crock escape the shock. It seemeth the old woman hath gone and told her lady and acquainted her with our case and she has disputed with Masrur the Eunuch and they have laid wagers each with other about our death and are come to us, all four, the Caliph and the Eunuch and the Lady Zubaydah and the old trot.” When Nuzhat al-Fuad heard this, she started up from her outstretched, posture and asked, “How shall we do?” whereto he answered, “We will both feign ourselves dead together and stretch ourselves out and hold our breath.” So she hearkened to him and they both lay down on the place where they usually slept the siesta[FN#78] and bound their feet and shut their eyes and covered themselves with the veil and held their breath. Presently, up came the Caliph, Zubaydah, Masrur and the old woman and entering, found Abu al-Hasan the Wag and wife both stretched out as dead; which when the Lady saw, she wept and said, “They ceased not to bring ill-news of my slavegirl till she died,[FN#79] methinketh Abu al-Hasan’s death was grievous to her and that she died after him.”[FN#80]

Quoth the Caliph, “Thou shalt not prevent me with thy prattle and prate. She certainly died before Abu al-Hasan, for he came to me with his raiment rent and his beard plucked out, beating his breast with two bits of unbaked brick,[FN#81] and I gave him an hundred dinars and a piece of silk and said to him, “Go, bear her forth and I will give thee a bed-fellow other than she and handsomer, and she shall be in stead of her. But it would appear that her death was no light matter to him and he died after her;[FN#82] so it is who have beaten thee and gotten thy stake.”

The Lady Zubaydah answered him in words galore and the dispute between them waxed sore. At last the Caliph sat down at the head of the pair and said, “By the tomb of the Apostle of Allah (whom may He save and assain!) and the sepulchres of my fathers and forefathers, whoso will tell me which of them died before the other, I will willingly give him a thousand dinars!” when Abu al-Hasan heard the Calipih’s words, he sprang up in haste and said, “I died first, O Commander of the Faithful! Here with the thousand dinars and acquit thee of thine oath and the swear thou sworest.” Nuzhat al-Fuad rose also and stood up before the Caliph and the Lady Zubaydah, who both rejoiced in this and in their safety, and the Pricess chid her slavegirl. Then the Caliph and Zubaydah gave them joy of their well-being and knew that this death was a trick to get the gold; and the Lady said to Nuzhat al-Fuad, “Thou shouldst have sought of me that which thou needest, without this fashion, and not have burned[FN#83] my heart for thee.” And she, “Verily, I was ashamed, O my lady.”

As for the Caliph, he swooned away for laughing and said, “O Abu al-Hasan, thou wilt never cease to be a wag and do peregrine things and prodigious!” Quoth he, “O Commander of the Faithful, this trick I played off for that money which thou gavest me was exhausted, and I was ashamed to ask of thee again. When I was single, I could never keep money in hand; but since thou marriedst me to this damsel, if I possessed even thy wealth, I should lay it waste. Wherefore when all that was in my hand was spent, I wrought this sleight, so I might get of thee the hundred dinars and the piece of silk; and all this is an alms from our lord. But now make haste to give me the thousand dinars and acquit thee of thine oath.” The Caliph and the Lady Zubaydah laughed and returned to the palace; and he gave Abu al-Hasan the thousand dinars saying, “Take them as a douceur[FN#84] for thy preservation from death,” whilst her mistress did the like with Nuzhat al-Fuad, honouring her with the same words. Moreover, the Caliph increased the Wag in his solde and supplies, and he and his wife ceased not to live in joy and contentment, till there came to them the Destroyer of delights and Severer of societies, the Plunderer of palaces, and the Garnerer of Graves.

THE CALIPH OMAR BIN ABD AL-AZIZ AND THE

POETS[FN#85]

It is said that, when the Caliphate devolved on Omar bin Abd al-Aziz[FN#86] (of whom Allah accept), the poets resorted to him, as they had been used to resort to the Caliphs before him, and abode at his door days and day, but he suffered them not to enter, till there came to him ‘Ab� bin Artah,[FN#87] who stood high in esteem with him. Jar�r[FN#88] accosted him and begged him to crave admission for them to the presence; so Adi answered, “‘Tis well;”

and, going in to Omar, said to him, “The poets are at thy door and have been there days and days; yet hast thou not given them leave to enter, albeit their sayings abide[FN#89] and their arrows from mark never fly wide.” Quoth Omar, “What have I to do with the poets?” and quoth Adi, “O Commander of the Faithful, the Prophet (Abhak!)[FN#90] was praised by a poet[FN#91] and gave him largesse, and in him[FN#92] is an exemplar to every Moslem.”

Quoth Omar, “And who praised him?” and quoth Adi, “‘Abb�s bin Mird�s[FN#93] praised him, and he clad him with a suit and said, O Generosity,[FN#94] cut off from me his tongue!” Asked the Caliph, “Dost thou remember what he said?” and Adi answered, “Yes.” Rejoined Omar, “Then repeat it;” so Adi repeated,[FN#95]

“I saw thee, O thou best of human race, * Bring out a Book which brought to graceless Grace.

Thou showedst righteous road to men astray * From Right, when darkest Wrong had ta’en its place;—

Thou with Isl�m didst light the gloomiest way, Quenching with proof live coals of frowardness; I own for Prophet Mohammed’s self; And man’s award upon his word we base;

Thou madest straight the path that crooked ran, * Where in old days foul growth o’ergrew its face.

Exalt be thou in Joy’s empyrean * And Allah’s glory ever grow apace.

“And indeed” (continued Adi), “this Elegy on the Prophet (Abhak!) is well known and to comment it would be tedious.” Quoth Omar “Who is at the door?” and quoth Adi, “Among them is Omar ibn Abi Rab�‘ah, the Korash�;[FN#96] whereupon the Caliph cried, “May Allah show him no favour neither quicken him! Was it not he who said these verses,

�Would Heaven what day Death shall visit me * I smell as thy droppings and drippings[FN#97] smell!

Could I in my clay-bed on Salm� lie * There to me were better than Heaven or Hell!’

“Had he not been” (continued the Caliph) “the enemy of Allah, he had wished for her in this world, so he might after repent and return to righteous dealing. By Allah, he shall not come in to me! who is at the door other than he?” Quoth Adi, “Jam�l bin ma’mar al-Uzri[FN#98] is at the door;” and quoth Omar, “‘Tis he who saith in one of his elegies,

�Would Heaven conjoint we lived, and if I die * Death only grant me a grave within her grave:

For I’d no longer deign to live my life * If told upon her head is laid the pave.’”[FN#99]

Quoth Omar, “Away with him from me! Who is at the door?” and quoth Adi, “Kuthayyir ‘Assah”[FN#100]; whereupon Omar cried, “‘Tis he who saith in one of his odes, �Some talk of faith and creed and nothing else * And wait for pains of Hell in prayer-seat;[FN#101]

But did they hear what I from Azzah heard, * They’d make prostration, fearfull at her feet.’

“Leave the mention of him. Who is at the door?” Quoth Adi, “Al-Ahwas al-‘Ans�r�.”[FN#102] Cried Omar, “Allah Almighty put him away and estrange him from His mercy! Is it not he who said, berhyming on a Medinite’s slavegirl, so she might outlive her lord,

�Allah be judge betwixt me and her lord! * Who ever flies with her and I pursue.’

“He shall not come in to me. who is at the door, other than he?”

Adi replied, “Hamm�m bin Gh�lib al-Farazdak;”[FN#103] and Omar said, “‘Tis he who saith, glorying in whoring, �Two girls let me down eighty fathoms deep, * As low sweeps a falcon wi’ pinions spread;

And cried; as my toes touched the ground, �Dost live * To return, or the fall hath it done thee dead?

“He shall not come in to me. who is at the door, other than he?”

Adi replied, “Al-Akhtal al-Taghlib�”[FN#104] and Omar said, “He is the Miscreant who saith in his singing, �Ramazan I ne’er fasted in lifetime; nay * I ate flesh in public at undurn day;[FN#105]

Nor chide I the fair, save in way of love, Nor seek Meccah’s plain[FN#106] in salvation-way: Nor stand I praying like rest who cry �Hie salvationwards’[FN#107] at the dawn’s first ray.

But I drink her cooled[FN#108] by fresh Northern breeze * And my head at dawn to her prone I lay.’[FN#109]

“By Allah, he treadeth no carpet of mine! who is at the door, other than he?” Said Adi, “Jar�r ibn al-Khatafah”; and Omar cried, “‘Tis he who saith,

�But for ill-spying glances had our eyes espied * Eyne of the antelope and ringlets of the Reems.[FN#110]

A huntress of the eyes[FN#111] by night-tide came and I * Cried, �Turn in peace, no time for visit this, meseems!’

“An it must be and no help, admit Jarir.” So Adi went forth and admitted Jarir, who entered, saying.

“Yea, he who sent Mohammed unto man, * A just successor for Im�m[FN#112] assigned.

His ruth and justice all mankind embrace, * To daunt the bad and stablish well-designed.

Verily now I look to present good, * For man hath ever-transient weal in mind.”

Quoth Omar, “O Jarir, keep the fear of Allah before thine eyes and say naught save the sooth.” And Jarir recited these couplets,

“How many widows loose the hair in far