My Personal Hell, D. Richardson [ebook reader browser txt] 📗

weren’t at their best.

We only had a week until the battle. Everyone even forgot that school was supposed to start a week after it was over. We were all more worried about making it to the first day.

We ended up with a hiccup in our plans though. I wanted Keira at my side on the field. But she wasn’t in our pack, so technically she couldn’t be there. The best fighter after her was Camilla and I wanted her at the house to help defend her mother, sister, and youngest brother. But then we found out that her mother was originally from our pack. So technically she could fight with us. I’d never been so relieved.

Sadler and I didn’t talk. Not really, not unless it was strictly business. But then again, I never gave us the chance, making sure that if we were alone I was sleeping. And then three days before the battle Jaeger cornered me.

“Ailith.” I was doing the dishes, just for something to do.

“What?”

“Don’t be so hard on him.” I glanced over to look at him. He looked pained, and understanding.

“I’m not.”

“You’ll barely even look at him.”

“And?”

“It’s killing him.”

“No it’s not.”

“He cares about you, Ailith.” I scoffed.

“Sure he does, he always has.”

“That’s not what I mean. You can’t hold this against him forever.” I turned to fully face him.

“I’m not.” He looked at me like I was telling an outright lie. He was right.

“At least try to be understanding.”

“I don’t see how this is any of your business.”

“You’re right, it’s not. But I’ve known Sadler for a very long time, I can tell when he’s unhappy. You have to understand what a female in heat can do to a male.” I shook my head.

“I wasn’t.” I tossed the towel I’d been using to dry my hands onto the counter.

“What?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“The first time I was, the second I wasn’t.”

“Oh,” he muttered, looking deep in thought. “Well then, forget I said anything. Hold it against him for as long as you want.” I nodded and he left.

And I fully planned on doing so, until Sadler walked in. I didn’t have anything left to clean so I just turned to look out the window. Hoping he would just grab something and leave. But instead he just stood there, leaning against the counter.

Chapter 35

Sadler

 

 

 

She stood there, staring out the window, like I didn’t exist. Like she had been doing for a while now. She was still staying at my loft, but she might as well have been absent. I missed her.

Then Jaeger told me that she had heard what I said to Drake. About that night not meaning anything to me. That explained a lot. Like that it meant something to her, and that’s why she’s acting like I was an object that took up space. I didn’t want her to hate me. I didn’t want her to think that it meant nothing to me. Because it meant everything.

“About that night…,” I started, hoping that I could actually get it out this time. I had already gotten further than my other attempts to discuss it. I had barely been able to open my mouth. Only to shut it without uttering a sound.

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Look, I get it. The heat had a strong effect, you couldn’t control yourself. It won’t happen again. I’ll just have to keep a closer watch on the calendar.” That wasn’t what I wanted. That wasn’t even what I was going to say. Though the fact that she was giving me an out made me flinch. I was trying to organize my thoughts, but she started to walk away and I opened my mouth.

“Why the lily?” I asked, grabbing her arm to turn her back around.

“What?”

“Your tattoo. I get the moon, and the stars, but why the lily?” I stepped closer to her.

“It doesn’t matter,” she mumbled, moving to take a step back. I put a hand on her hip, stopping her, and bringing her a little closer.

“It does, tell me.” I hadn’t meant to speak so softly, but when she looked away I could see the tears in her eyes. One fell, gliding down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.

“Because…,” she paused to take a breath, looking at the floor, before meeting my gaze again. “because the only other person that ever called me that was the last person that truly cared about me. And when you call me Lily, I don‘t feel broken.” I took a half step closer, so close that we were almost touching, and gently placed a hand on her cheek, forcing her to look up at me.

“You have been many things. Hurt, brutalized, even close to death, but you have never been broken.” She looked so miserable, in so much pain I couldn‘t stop from leaning down and gently placing my lips against hers. It was like I could finally breath again. “That night, wasn’t about your heat. I wanted it, because I want you. I was just afraid. Afraid that Drake would try to force me to stay away from you. Truth be told now that I‘ve had you, I don‘t want to let you go,” I said, pulling back to look at her. She searched my face, looking for my lie. When she didn’t find one she leaned up, crushing her lips to mine, as my arms completely circled her waist.

 

 

Asher

 

 

 

“Let’s go home,” he mumbled to her. Then they left. I stood just on the other side of the doorway, listening to them.

I had known that she was in the kitchen alone, that’s why I had followed Sadler when he headed that way. At first I was going to interrupt them. I knew that Sadler had slept with her. I also knew that Dad had warned him away.

When I had first caught his scent on her I was angry. Believing that he had stolen something from me. But now I realize it had never been mine to begin with. It wasn’t that he had managed to do something I hadn’t. It was that he had cared enough to let it happen on its own. It didn’t take a genius to see how much he cared for her. And I only wished I had been able to feel as strongly. I truly wished them the best.

I hadn’t done right by her. She just wasn’t meant for me. And I was fine with that now. As I stepped out onto the back porch I noticed Keira sitting under the apple tree. The moonlight hit her in just the right way for me to see her face.

That girl was wonderful. She was fun, sexy, smart, strong, classy, but every once in a while, like now, she would sit by herself and get this serious expression. Like she was in deep thought. It always made me wonder what she was thinking about. As I watched her, watching the tree line, I realized I was smiling.

 

 

 

Sadler

 

 

 

I followed Ailith into Drake’s kitchen the next morning. We both knew that he would smell me on her. We hadn’t had sex the night before. Instead we laid in bed together, enjoying only idle touches, and occasional kisses. But my scent would be all over her for the rest of our lives, and that made it worth Drake‘s wrath.

As soon as we were inside she went out to the back to assign the females their positions. And Drake could barely keep himself from physically dragging me into his office. Becca was sitting in her usual chair, reading when Drake slammed the door shut. She sat up, concern taking over her features. While Drake spun on me, I started to speak before he could start yelling.

“I didn’t sleep with her,” it derailed him enough that I had the chance to finish my sentence. “I marked her,” Becca looked at me, stunned, while Drake’s face turned an uncomfortable shade of red. I’d never seen so much anger from him, at least not aimed at me.

“No! I forbid it!” he growled, I slammed a hand down on the top of his desk. He reeled back as though it had been his face.

“It’s already done,” my own growl vibrating deep in my chest. “The battle’s tomorrow, if you want to kick me off your territory after it’s done, so be it. But you can’t take her from me, she’s mine!” He stared at me, trying to stare me down. When it didn’t work, he took a deep breath, getting ready to start yelling. But then Becca was there, placing her hand on his arm.

“Look at him, Drake. His wolf is just under the surface.” I was breathing heavily as she spoke. “They’re mates, there’s nothing that can be done. Hell couldn’t keep them apart.” He looked down at her, she showed no anger, simply earnest belief. Then he met my eyes again.

“Is that true? Is she your mate?” I stood straight, then nodded. “How long have you known?”

“Since she was dating Asher.” He shook his head.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked, dropping back into his chair, looking exhausted. I shrugged.

“I thought she would be better off with him. He has more to offer her than I do. But I can’t anymore. I can’t keep denying it. I can’t keep living my life without her in it.”

“Fine, we’ll talk about this after tomorrow,” he finally answered, I nodded then turned and left.

I made it to the back yard just in time to see Asher giving Ailith a hug. She pulled back and softly smiled up at him. Jealousy filled my chest until she saw me looking at her. Asher was already walking away. The smile she gave me was so filled with joy, just at seeing me, that the jealousy vanished as though it had never existed.

 

 

 

Ailith

 

 

 

It was the day of the battle and no one seemed to be able to take a deep breath. The females that would be staying in human form were getting ready. We had decided to keep it light, using the same type of leather outfits that I had used to infiltrate Van’s house. It allowed more maneuverability. I couldn’t thank Jen enough for the leather armor she had made me for the benefit. Finally telling me that she had made it specifically to be real armor.

Jen would be in wolf form, as well as Becca, but Camilla would be in human form and she cornered me. Well, she had wanted to talk with me privately.

“Why can’t I be at the battle? I don’t want to be on the field, I just want to be there to help.” I shook my head.

“I need you here”

“But…” I locked her gaze with mine.

“There will be children in that basement. I need you here to protect them. Them and your sister, and your mom, and your brother. We’ll be fine, but they need you.” After a moment she finally nodded and I went to check on the rest of them after buckling the last strap on my boots.

I found Becca in her room. She was in loose clothing, sitting on her bed. It looked like she was having a hard time breathing. When I walked in she stood, meeting me in the