Lost, Szilvia N. Adler [notion reading list .txt] 📗

The Forgotten

The boxes lay comfortably on the floor of the container, now used as storage, not only for items boxed and restricted, but for saving the memory of one’s life – taken place light-years away. It is not only personal belongings but the habit of living out of the boxes asphyxiating the air as I approach the cargo space once used for transport of goods. It is my goods in the container, safely locked from strangers, even from me. It should be unpacked, loaded on shelves – since years have passed and I don’t even know what those boxes contain anymore.


The Fear of Being Exposed

Snapshots don’t lie, inevitably you cannot lie. Your disguise no longer protects you and your being – be it your fears, emotions or your upcoming actions. They are exposed to the ones watching you with scolding eyes, criticizing your moves and intentions.
You don’t like snapshots because the person inside you does not want to be known, to be displayed to others.
You need to hold onto something so deep, treasured and feared on its exposure.
There’s always a little part of you standing against the wall covered in the shadows, hoping never to be discovered.

The True Realization

Sometimes I feel it is not me, who is living in this body. There are instants when my thoughts haunt me and times when I am not sure whether my memories belong to me. The so-called distant past wears off little by little or too fast as I leave it behind. The only logical explanation I find for the ones lingering imploringly is that I am trying to run away from them so hard. But I cannot, rather, they catch up to me.
The past, future and present is connected; connected to me and connected through me.

Publication Date: 08-20-2010

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