Under-tow, D. R. Bolger [dar e dil novel online reading TXT] 📗

My limbs flailed helplessly as I gasped for air.  My arms and legs had turned to lead and were barely strong enough to keep me afloat.  The trees on the shore had become diminished and I feared I would never be able to play in them again.

I felt the water pulling, dragging me into its depths.  My feeble body could no longer fight the under-tow and I began falling.

The water filled my ears, dulling the sound of the collapsing waves.  My mouth involuntarily jerked open and gave way to the pungent sea-water, searing my insides as it rushed through me.

The murky brown water turned a soothing black and the burning faded as I felt myself being carried away by the water.

 -

I bolted upright, gasping for air, my eyes wide with terror. 

I don’t wanna die! I pleaded and though that wish was made by thought alone there was no around to receive it even if I had of voiced the desperate cry.

There was a rough surface under my fingertips.  I gazed down and realised it was sand.  I panned around and realised that I was sitting on the shore, on top of my Disney towel depicting the image of an immaculate red-haired mermaid.  And there before me the ocean was as still as the dead.

A dream.  A terrifying dream. I rationalised.

I remembered Mummy saying never to go to the beach alone, especially without a grown-up.  Her words suddenly seemed so full of wisdom.  I better get home before Mummy wakes up and I get in trouble.

I lifted myself to my feet with tremendous effort, my muscles felt so tight.  The air was oddly so heavy for my small form.  It felt like it was pushing me down, trying to lower me to the sand and even the clouds seemed to be weighing me down. These were a dense black and strangely appeared to be just over my head, as if when I reached my hands above my head I may have even been able to tough these apparitions. And then futher I spotted a grey sun through these clouds. It was still very low in the sky, so low that weirldy it looked like it didn't really want to rise. As if stuck there, resisting the future that it was destined to shine upon.

I reflected how I had seen this scenery just prior to dozing off, the sky as a vibrant orange with scarce clouds and the touch of warmth in the air, hinting towards a beautiful summer day. Yet now it appeared that it was spoilt by this pressing storm and with it, singalling an undeniable sense of meloncholy.

I ran up the beach towards our house, the sand grabbing at my feet as I jogged.

I stepped onto the tiled path that lead home, but it too was strange.  In just the few hours I had been gone the immaculate cream colour had turned to a dull brown, with cracks running through it like veins.  And there I could not help wondering with trepidation, was there a monster hiding under these floors about to get me?

I sprinted across that path, afraid that my fears may have been true before finally approaching a black door handle.  As I swung it open it creaked with the cackle that sounded eerily akin to a witch's before leaping inside.

The marble.  What happened to the marble? 

I tip-toed across freezing concrete through the bare hallway, as fear wrapped its icy claws around me.  Everything had changed.  I couldn’t contemplate what had happened over such a short time.  Was Mummy even here?

“Mummy!  Mummy!”  I yelled, running through the stranger’s house into where her bedroom should have been.

The pink carpet, white curtains and blue bedcovers were completely absent.  The ceiling lights were blown and the same concrete flooring was flowed through here as well.  A single yellow-stained mattress lay on the floor, collecting drops of water from the ceiling.

Mummy was not here.  She was gone. It had seemed that... she had abandoned me.

Crying came form across the hall, faint as a dying flame.

I walked into my bedroom where Mummy sat on my Cinderella decored bed.  She had her back to me, facing the shrunken window.  In her hands was a cracked photo-frame.

“I told you not to go, Bethanie.  I told you never to go without a grown-up but... you disobeyed me.”  She did not turn.  Her voice was croaky, as if she spent a lifetime of crying.  It was full of disappointment and regret.

I hung my head low, submitting myself for the punishment I was about to receive.  I stared at the carpet, which was now much darker, besmirched with stark footsteps leading to my bed. The colourations of them were stange, a deep type of brown that seemed to have lingered there for a long time. 

“I’m sorry, Mummy” I responded finally, but to that there was no reprimand. In fact, from my mother I heard nothing at all.

I walked around and slinked next to her on the bed.

“Why did you leave?”  She shook her head, crying again.  I could smell her perfume, the one sweet thing that remained. 

“Why couldn’t you do as you were told!?”  She threw the frame on the floor where the glass shattered and a picture of me emerged from it.  She picked it up and held it tightly as if afraid to do any further harm.  And still, all through that, she had yet to look at me.

“Mummy, I … I didn’t mean to upset you.”  I could feel my heart being squeezed tighter and tighter.

“What am I going to do without you?”  She murmured as my eyes began to lose their their focus.  “I should have been a better parent, shown you what to do in a beach rip.  I should have been there to save you!”

My head spun just as my body convulsed as if ready to throw up yet never doing so.  Then suddenly I felt the floor slam itself against my back and newly materialised cockroaches danced on the ceiling with a circular frenzy.

“Beth, why did you die on me?”  That tiny whisper stabbed at my heart.  It wasn’t true. It can’t be true!

“Mummy the rip was just a dream. I’m alright! Look at me Mummy, look at me!”  I grabbed her shoulders and stared right into her face, but still she didn’t see me.  I tried to shake her but she was just too heavy to move.  Her soft skin had become rock hard but she still had her heat.  I rested my head on her shoulder; her warmth ran into my cheek, filling my body with reassurance.

“It’s okay Mummy.  I’m never going to leave you.  Everything will be the same.  Everything.  You’ll see.  Nothing is going to be different. No matter what, I'll protect you forever, and always.”

Text: Danielle Bolger
Images: Danielle Bolger
Publication Date: 07-16-2013

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